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Monday, March 26, 2018

"'Oh, Pancho!' Meet the Cisco Kid..." Cinco Por Cisco: A Nonsense Crambo

“Oh, Pancho!” Meet the Cisco Kid.
For short’ning, eat some Crisco, kid.
Your disk-shaped treat...? Nabisco, kid.
Hip-hoppy feet...? Greet Disco Kid. 

Strolls Market Street...? The Frisco Kid.
New Yorker's treat...? Haunt Kisco,* kid.
Jeanne-Claude’s** conceit...? Shoot Christo’s vid:
“Wrap San Luis Obispo, kid!”
     * Mount Kisco, NY, Revolutionary War buff destination. 
   ** Jeanne-Claude Denat de Guillebon, wife of artist 
Christo Javacheff, often photographs her husband’s 
outdoor installations which sometimes involve wrapping
large geographical areas in a textile material.

In Dublin dwelt the Briscoe Kid.*
Recalling yet another Yid:
Stooge Larry Fine’s the “Fist Moe!” Kid.
Does he complete the list, though, kid...?
     * Robert Briscoe was the first Jewish Lord Mayor of Dublin.

Nope! Surgeons lance the Cysto Kid,
and blacks advance our Miss Stowe* Kid.
Cafés finance the Sysco Kid.
But these comprise the gist…no, kid...?
    * Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Nope! Rest’rateurs serve bisque (or did): 
soup sales, till April brisk, have slid.
And, though pervs see the Kissed Toe Kid,
O. Henry seethes, “That’s ‘Cisco,’ kid!”

Bush: It's My Legacy; or, W's 2006 "Fool Me Once" Quote Blame Game: A Nonsense Rhyme


Fool me once? Blame's on you.
Fool me twice? Blame’s still yours, nu?
Fool me thrice? I’m blaming Rice,
though Condee’s coif’s so dad-blamed nice.

Fooled again? I’m blaming Dick.
Translucence ain’t Dick‘s bailiwick.
Fooled afresh? I now blame Rummy.
(Funny: Rum was once so-o-o chummy.)

Fooled anew? I’m blaming Colin.
Weapons? Lost! Or tossed! Or stolen!
Further fools? Blame Chalabi.
Swears Ahmed: “What a pal I’ll be!”

Fooled moreover? I blame Karl:
“Religious right-wing rant? Je parle!”
Fooled once more? I still blame Rover:
“Two terms? Easy! Skips through clover.”

Newly fooled? I blame Alberto.
His recall? “a- (campo) -perto.”
Encore fooling? I blame Tenet:
“Slam dunk? Sure! Just blow by Senate.”

Fooled e'en more so? I blame Chertoff.
(Swore he’d give his back the shirt off.)
Infinitum fooled? Blame God:
I’d swear Mon Pere purr'd, “Bomb Riyadh!”

Building Wal(l)- (A Nonsense ABC)


Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a wallaby. No "But...": it’s what I do.

So: how’d you build a walla-… Me? I’d bang a kangaroo.”

“My Border Wallball” brand I’ll boost. I'll let Latinos play.

(And, win or lose, I'll promise youse: those Mexicans will pay.)”

Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a Walcott, one I’ll christen ‘Jersey Joe.’

Because I love the poorly educated, as you know.”


“I’ll build a Waldorf salad, paired with Mar-a-Lago cake.

Just read – then heed! -- my Twitter feed: all other news is fake.”

Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a walleyed pike, a once-endangered species.

Drumpf's germophobic, though, and so Drumpf cannot face its feces.”

“Wallflow’rs? Why, I’ll build ‘em high, then grab ‘em by the stamen.

I’ll hump, for fun, the cutest one. (That's why I'm called 'The LayMan'.)”


“A Walgreens for my skin-head white supremacists I’ll build.

I’ll make more dough, while they'll get opioid prescriptions filled.”

Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a Drumpf Walhalla stuffed with neo-Nazis.

We’ll all ‘Sieg heil!’ I’ll wave. I’ll smile. I’ll pose for paparazzis.”

Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a Wallis Simpson. She admired Hitler.

Just wait, you’ll see: she’ll fancy me. (Then, possibly, I’ll diddl’ her.)”


“I’ll build an Azra Walji in Nairobi -- maybe two.

The pair -- you grok? -- will prove Barack was born in Kenya, nu?”

Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a walk-in freezer stocked with Drumpf-brand steaks.

If interest slows, Ivanka knows to flush ‘em down my jakes.”

"I promised I'd build walls. I will. Some Walmarts, too, I'll build.

Let aliens perform the work. Let Mexico be billed."


Says Drumpf, “I’ll built a walnut. Let me hear no ‘and’s or ‘but’s.

Drumpf Real Estate, Drumpf Wine, Drumpf Steaks, Drumpf Golf Balls. Now, Drumpf Nuts!

“I’ll build a Drumpf Walloon, a female – blonde, like gals from Norway,”

says Drumpf. “She, then, will bring a friend or two: we’ll do a four-way!”

“Drumpf's own Walpurgisnacht will be the greatest ever seen,”

outdoing Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve and Halloween.”


Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a Wahlqvist. (Building’s what I do so well.)

I’ll launch intrigues. I’ll launch new leagues. Hey! F.U., NFL!’”

“A Walrus with its Carpenter shall be my next erection.

Th big libidos oysters boost will clinch my re-election.”

Says Drumpf, “I’ll build a Wall Street Journal greater than the first.

The base I’ve sired is sick and tired of fake news: it's the worst.”


Says Drumpf, “A Waltz, a Waluigi and a Walvis Bay,

a second Walwal Incident: I’ll build all four…today.

I’ll build a WALX to grace your FM dial.

O Waly Waly I will build. I’ll play nine holes, then I’ll…

…construct a Michael Walzer (‘tain’t no herculean chore).

John Bolt and I will need one. Why? Our up-and-coming war!

Losts & Founds: An ABC

     The Lost Ark Careless Hebrews lost the Ark  but Jones, a gentile, found it --  along with half a dozen nasty  Nazis runnin' 'ro...