One Fine Day at an Uptown Eatery (Past)

"Where's your dessert cart...?
Please, bring it!" I say.
"I hear Berries St. Edmond's 
on offer today.
Gone...? A spoonerful, then,
of your Soubarb Rouffle!
That's gone, too...? Oy vay! Okay: 

three cafes au lait."

Leaves o' 'Breves (Past)

Recall you Walter's Leaves of Grass...?

You met in high-school English class.

But that was then, not here, not now.

Meet "Leaves o' 'Breves," cats' new meow.

To ref'rence 'Martin Luthur King,'

one's 'MLK' may prove the thing.

For other stuff 'twill also do,

e.g., 'Monsieur Le Kangaroo.'

Though written 'TNT,' I glean

it's said 'trinitrotoluene.'

On hearing Drumpf, however, you

soon see it stands for 'That's Not True.'

When TV broadcast color guys,

refer to batters' 'RBI's,

'Runs Batted In''s what they express,

not 'Red Blue Indigo.' (I guess.)

My mailman told me, "'RFD'  

means 'Rural Free Delivery.'" 
I set him straight: “Them days...? Long gone.  
It now means 'Rosy Finger'd Dawn.'”

That sailors reckon 'SOS'

means 'Save Our Ship' was once my guess.

Alas, it seems -- is this not odd...? --

it stands instead for 'Sad Ol' Sod.'

When 'Pretty Damn Quick' I'd convey,

it's 'PDQ' I choose to say.

But when to rubdowns I'd submit,

that same abbreve means 'Please Don't Quit.'

For 'Laugh Out Loud,' text 'LOL.'

All Twitter tweetsters know this well.

But now it stands for 'Lots O' Luck,'

You don't believe me...? WTF...?

Top Synthetic Fibers (Past)

Nylon. Rayon. Orlon.

Polyputdeeketylon.

Dynel J. Drumpf (Past)

      Dynel J. Drumpf: a Profile in Textile 

     Drawing in chemical marker, Crayola and UberGlow 

tanning foam (Metallic Sunshine) below actual blonde 

Dynel hairpiece -- He isn't fake anything: he's real Dynel -- 

attached to 16" x 20" canvas.

      By Ulysses Poe

     (This canvas temporarily on inter-library loan to The 

Dynel J. Drumpf Presidential Library and MAGA Fashion 

Accessories Retail Outlet Store, Palm Beach, Florida.)

 

Vibrissae-frizz'd, Dynel J. Drumpf 

limns lists of adversaries' names.
Re: bristles quizz'd, Dynel J. Drumpf
dismisses spiels near open flames.

Im--postiche--plants* Dynel J. Drumpf

insists, to all who'd heed, "They're real."

Mane-niacal Dynel J. Drumpf

burlesques a boned banana peel!

     * An example of the Latin rhetorical device known 

as 'tmesis' or 'cutting,' whereby one word is inserted in 

between the separated components of an adjacent 

compound word. 'Cutting' further provides an example 

of another such device, one of irony. 

Copolymer'd Dynel J. Drumpf

promotes his Union Carbide Stocks.

Faux-fibre-coiff'd Dynel J. Drumpf

thrice violates Ms. Goldilocks.

Maize-merkin-mopp'd Dynel J. Drumpf

claims, "Only Herr repairs what's wrong."

Toupeeriwigg'd Dynel J. Drumpf:

so long's your hair! So, Herr: So long!