"So: they crucified the Nazarene. They wrapped Him in a shroud..." The Shroud of Turin & Other Constrained Spoonerisms

So: they crucified the Nazarene. 
They wrapped Him in a shroud,
whereon's now seen His face, His mien. 
"How keen!" Pope Paul allow’d. 
(It's called The Shroud of Turin 
and it always draws a crowd.) 

When I'm show'rin' after hoops, 
'n' entrail urgency's occurrin,' 
to abandon tub for toilet 
is one journey I'm deferrin.'
(It's called The Turd of Show’rin.'
There it sits, amidst my urine.) 

Coming soon: 

The Star of Bethlehem and The Bar of Shtetl Mem