like The Right Stuff's Chuck Yigger…?
Who cheers as the U.S.
files climate's hair trigger…?
Why praise for the Christian
but raze for the Uigher…?
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'xigger.')
Who black-listed Zero Mostel
and Pete Sigger…?
Who back’d Michelle Bachman…?
Who blog’d "How we dig ‘er!"…?
Who’s cast bags of ballots for Palin…?
Go figger!
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'chthigger.')
Who neighs to his neighbor,
"My handgun's w-a-a-ay bigger"…?
Who drives after guzzling
wa-a-a-ay too much ligger…?
Who claims that the Drumpf
has no need of a wigger…?
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'djigger.')
On steroids, Team USA's cyclists
proved quigger --
though doping's destroy’d
more than one Major Ligger,
while folks who should know better
chortle and snigger.
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'kkknigger.')
Who bans marijuana
but puffs a big cigger...?
Who boozes by gallon
and never jigger…?
Who flaunts G. I. Joe,
dissing Eeyore and Tigger…?
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'thmigger.')
Who "pooh!"s Mendel's pea plants
but still calls him 'Grigger'…?
Thinks H'waii'ns by spaceship came,
not by out-rigger…?
And who doesn’t think
that the Drumpf's an Intriguer…?
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'houyigger.')
Who digs and defers to
the Founders with vigor,
insisting all immigrants
weather the rigor
of Homeland Security's
brutal buttkigger…?
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'sphligger.')
When promises made
to the farm-produce piggers
deserve follow-through,
who are A-one renegers…?
A hint: they've been bought;
they're not zaggers or ziggers.
Amer'ca!
(At least we no longer say 'tschiggers.')
Extr'ordin'ry: some black folks
call themselves 'squiggers,'
whose ancestors came as slaves,
stuff’d in square-riggers,
whose kin, nonetheless,
are all Anti-Def Liggers.
Why would folks -- black, white --
ever call others 'thiggers'…?
Because they're Amer'cans…?
Just facts, ma'am...just figgers!
Amer'ca!
(High time we no longer said 'mniggers.')
