Rhymes With 'Rhyme'

     Does the 
chyme of Miss Jean Brodie cause that 
lady’s chyme of passion…?
     Who’s caught 
chyming ev’ry mountain, forging 
streams, as chyme goes by…?
     When did 
“Buddy, can you spare some chyme...?” e-
clypse “The Chymehouse Blues”…?
     And shall we 
all not go together gath’ring 
wild mountain chyme…?

(Featured rhymes are 'prime,' 'crime,' 'climb.' 
'time,' 'dime,' 'Lime-,' and 'thyme.' Other
possibilities include 'chime,' 'clime,' 'grime,' 
'I'm,' 'mine,' and 'slime.' More rhyming 
to come: a work in progress)

Ms. Spelling's Misspellings

A is not for 'eightball,' Tori.
(B, though, IS for 'bdellium.')
C is not for 'seasick,' Spelling.
(D, though, IS for 'Djuka.')

E...? Not for 'Iago,' Tor,
nor F is not for 'effigy.'
G is not for 'Jeeves,' Ms. S,
nor H is not for 'aged.'

I is not for 'eyelash,' Tori,
nor is J for 'Django.'
K is not for 'caseload,' Tor,
and L is not for 'elephant.'

M is not for 'empress,' Miss,
nor N is not for 'enema.'
O is not for 'aubergine'
(though P IS for 'pneumatic.')

Q is not for 'cuticle,' 
nor R is not for 'aardvark.'
S is not for 'eskimo,'
nor T’s not for 'pteranodon.'

U's not for 'euphonium,'
nor’s V for 'weinerschnitzel.'
W...? Not for 'Dubya,' Spelling,
nor is X for 'exit.'

Y is not for 'wiseguy,' Tori,
nor is Z for 'dzeren.' (As for 
&...? No, Spelling, & is not for 
'wrap her sand!' nor 'ham/purse hand' nor 
'Rambo's Aunt' nor 'I'm bored Sand!' nor 
'hamper stand' nor 'amber'd Zan' nor 
'Am who am!' nor 'damn'd Roseanne' nor...) 
                              
           [da capo ad an extended spell]

Home Planet

Some who've liv'd here 

lov'd to lav.
Some who've lav'd here 

liv'd to lave.
Some who've laved here 

lov'd to leaf.
Some who've leaf'd here 

liv'd to loaf.
Some who've loaf'd here 

lov'd to luffa.
Some who've luffa'd 

liv'd to love.
Some who've lov'd here 

liv'd to laugh.
None who've laugh'd here 

lov'd to leave.

Gashly Punn'd Obits or A's Aloysius who sleeps with the fysius.

A’s Aloysius who sleeps with the fysius.
(A's also for Alfie, snuff’d snapping a salfie.) 
B is for Boris who fell from his horris.
(B's also for Bobby: ate tainted kohlrobby.) 

C is for Carla: dispatch’d in her parla.' 
(C's also for Clyde, in a pact suicyde.) 
D is for David, who fail’d to get savid,
(D's also for Dale, brain’d with golf-ball-sized hale.) 

E is for Evelyn: pierc’d by a jevelyn.
(Also Elise, fin'lly resting in pise.) 
F is for Faust, forced to "give up the gaust." 
(F's also for Frank – heard the Fat Lady sank.) 

G is for George who ate poisonous porr'g., 
(G's also for Gidget, whose body turn’d fridget.)
H is for Harry, whose corpse we should barry. 
(H is also for Henry, who perish’d in pen'ry.

I's for Ignatius: that cyst prov’d sebatius.
(I's also for Ida: got bit by a spida.
J is for Jim: surgeons saw'd off his lim.
(J's also for Judas who tried to eludas.) 

K is for Keith who waxed wa-a-ay too obeith.
(K's also for Keyser who suffer’d a seysier.) 
L is for Lance overwhelm’d by red ance, 
(L is also for Linda, who burn’d to a cinda.)

M is for Modred who ask’d, "Is this loadred...?" 
(M’s also for Morris: the levee proved porris.)
N is for Ned: no one knew he was ded.
O is for Oliver: shot (a revoliver). 

P's for Pandora, who hang’d -- oh, the horra! 
Q is for Quinn: too much tonicless ginn. 
R is for Ron who was quarter’d and dron.
S...? For Samantha: felt pills were the antha. 

T is for Tom: bought a gun; bought the fom. 
U ith for Uther who'th alwayth a luther.
V is for Victor: dead! (Obiter dictor)
W…? Wayne who’s most savagely slayne. 

X is for Xavier: jail’d (bad behavier). 
Y is for Yves: dead. (Left no one to gryves.)
Z is for Zeke, yet another turn’d cheke:
whosoever inherits the earth won't be meek.

Another Gamut: From A(back) to Zed

From aback to ahead. From astir to abed.
From hang'd to beheaded, garrotted to bled.
From an Irish goodbye in James Joyce's The Dead
to a "Caed mille failte" (IF "caed" rhym'd with "ped-").

From cash to cred. From nun to coed.
From "Alive...it's alive!" to "I’m better off dead!"
From House to Ed. From daring to dread.
From The Conqueror, William to "-ward (the) VIII(th), Ed-."

From famish’d to fed, extract to imbed.
From Lucy and Desi to Ethel and Fred.
From stood pat to fled, Nikkei to the Fed.
From G. B. Shaw's "ghoti" to Sgt. Jim's "ghled."

From toenail to head. From 'too' to 'instead.'
From Coal Miner's Daughter to Ballade of Jed.
From pure to inbred. From Nike to Ked.
From a morning ashore to two weeks at Club Med.

From follow'd to fled. From silver to lead.
From informed to mislead. From acquired to misread.
From Tia Maria to Great Uncle Ned.
From "-tigone (An-)" to "the King, -ipus" (Oed-)".

From Math to Phys Ed., poppadom to rye bread.
From a mood indigo to a fire engine red.
From cross file to shred. From skateboard to sled.
From oleo to "the expensiver spread."

From whispered to said. From slowed down to sped.
From atque to sed. From halyard to thread.
From "Empty your pockets!" to "Move right ahead!"
From a slap on the wrist to a trip to the shed.

From hitched to unwed. From remanded to pled.
From Aethelbald to Aethelraed the Unraed.
From Chita's Chihuahua to Sam's Samoyed.
From A, B through L, M, N, O, P...
                                                                              ...to Zed!