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Tuesday, May 28, 2019

"Mondo Cane" Reimagined or 'God's to 'Dog's: an Open-ended Series of Fifteen (so far) "Gott zu Spot" Distichs in Doggerel from GFH and UXP

When 'god's become 'dog's, our world does a one-eighty-one.

When
gods turn dogs (those words, I mean),
folks spot strange stuff they've never seen,

hear high-pitch'd "r-r-ruff!" once shelv'd between repugnant and downright obscene.

     Dogiva...? She's no lady, sir, tho' hounds regard the bitch demure,
despite her showing all that fur. A "show" dog...? Sure. (But still a cur.)

     Most fear Charybdis, shy at Scylla, shrink from Kong -- that whole megillah.
Blanch they, but,* before Dogzilla? Nossir! Not one slim scintilla.
     * The phrase-ending 'but' suggests this exception is spoken by a northern UK speaker -- 
or perhaps one hailing from Ireland or Australia.

     Reading wunderkind Kurt Dögel, grey cells (mine) begin to gurgle:
"Might I, if Kurt's work I'd burgle, in short order square the cirgle...?"

     Two on stage (where...? I dunno): twin ev'rymen await Dogot.
Will Didi stay? Will Gogo blow? (Dogot does, subsequently, show.)

     Arthur Dogfrey pours out tea. (One lump or two...? The biscuit's free.) 
His lapdog rep...? Hyperbole: those barks 'n' bites suck equally.

     Dogwarts founder Gryffindor -- first name o' Dogric (less or more) --
sows sorcery 'n' swords galore. (That mutt has much to answer for.)

     "Dogspell" fails to win the Tony. "Annie" wins. The ceremony
spawns, in Sandy,* acrimony. (Verse like this...? Show-biz baloney.)
     * Annie's canine companion and costar isn't even nominated.

     Chihuahuas touring Chichen Itza, Balkan Hounds from Srebrenica,
Spot, Duke, Fido...no dog eats a taco from Dogfather's Pizza.

     Srebrenica (see above), a spot where dognosc's spoken of:
8,000 pups the final shove are dealt. Tough luck...? (It ain't tough love.)

     From Queen Lucia’s motor-car, the French New Wave’s Jean-Luc Dogard
burlesques Miss Mapp’s “Au reservoir!” or so airs dogged NPR.

     Harold Dogwinson's fraught flight to Hastings -- although not too bright --
still wins the day, so that this knight is afterwards "the Conquer'r" hight.
          
     Robert Doggard's daedal dearth rocketry aborts at birth.
Astronauts -- for what it's worth -- can't "slip the surly bonds of earth."

     Professor Dogbole barks lore. No “man’s best friend,” he lacks rapport,
this friend of Forster’s from Lahore who’s not heard barking, “Mrs. Moore!”

     Behold! The pets of epigram! The pooch whose puppy's call'd "The Lamb."
The mutt who barks, "I Am Who Am." The dog of Abraham...
                                                                                         Dogdamn!


(Future “‘god’s to ‘dog’s” candidates: an open-ended work in progress)

The Thankless Dead’s Keith Dogchaux
Krafty Food's Green Dogdess: salad dressing or mouthwash?
dogman:  a type of untouchable in India

The Friends of Friday Spast

Console poor Monday Noone -- so-o-o-o overweight.
Meet Tuesday Brighton-Hurley, fashion plate.
Shun Wednesday Weecke: her lovers she devours,
as does seductress Thursday Haft ter Howers.
Say "hey!" to woman’s libber Friday Knight
and Saturday Moore-Ning, hermaphrodite.
Each gal you greet’s a friend of Friday Spast.
including Sunday Brunche. ‘Tis quite the cast!

(Other friends of Ms. Spast. Their verses are in progress) 

Monday Blaahz
Tuesday “Eve” Ning
Wednesday Sawph
Thursday Dawne 
Friday Phorte-Knight
Saturday Haft-Daye
Sunday Sirvisses

Monday Sleplayte
Tuesday "Happy" Hauer
Wednesday Sayle-Zeevent
Thursday Sklosed
Friday Prerz
Saturday Danse
Sunday Skule 

Losts & Founds: An ABC

     The Lost Ark Careless Hebrews lost the Ark  but Jones, a gentile, found it --  along with half a dozen nasty  Nazis runnin' 'ro...