Don't Mock Le Jacques!

     Part
pierrot, part Presley be Jacques, Bach of Rock.

     Leak’d pa-

piers (so they say) show he rocks ‘round the clock.

     Twirling

hips, curling lips, he cerrocs donn’d in frock.

     Though the

man ain’t no Merce, don’t knock Jacques propter hoc.

Roe, Row, Rhosary: an Abecedarial Carol of /RO/s Array'd in One Hundred Twenty Nine Rows

The IntRO:

Life is...what…? A dream…? A scream…?

A stream…? A bream…? A meme…? Oh, no!
     Nope: 
life is but a -ro, row, roe, -reau,
-raoh, rho, -rohe, roh, rowe, hro, rop... 

The CaROl:

A 

     Young 

ROgues in bROgues All dROve Pierce-ArROWs 
Ages 'fore "A" Fords AROSE,
     ere 
ChevROlets (As spelt with their 'RO's,
or, as oft, misspelt with rare 'RHO's)
belch’d AbROad such foul AROmas --
men (And maids!) nosed…in A ROW.

B

     Sans

spats, Jack KeROuac 'n' BurROUGHs,
Beats, Beat Bounds Beyond Art's BurROWs:
"ThROugh our Burg, Babe wheels wheelBarROWs,"
William wrote. "Behold their furROWs!"
(Babe, though retRO, ain't no 'ho'.) 
     "Doh! 
That's no lady: that's...ma B-RO!"

C 

     Whence 

Come the newest pink-hued CastROs --
fresh Fidels* to fROnt for past '-stROs...?**
Think you'd Catch -- not spelt with RHOs -- 
     Chic 
Sheryls, Johnnys (tos or fROs),
     black
Jims, Corvidae, AbsaROkas --
each 'n' every one a CROW...?

     * An anagram for 'fields’ and thus

anagrammatically fresh.   

     ** Short for 'monstrosities' -- e.g., 

Juan Battista. 

D-F

     Do 

Bryans Dive for Clarence DarROWs...?
"O'er De top" be too De tROP,
     though 
bets on Cal Draw more DinéROs.
(FROm primeRO de EneRO,
bets are better bet in EuROs --
ROy can't bet: ROy's funds are FROze.)

F

     CROw

"Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-
RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-
ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-gar-...(are
you who cROws those "FigaRO!"s 
FROm -glyphs, i.e., FROm hieROs...?)
...ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO, Fi-ga-RO...)

F-G

     S'ppose 

Fools sow oats at Mia FarROW's,
Fine-tooth comb her nappy 'FRO
     (an' 
Fan her Flush an' Fevered bROW)
     whilst 
dealing Frequent hands of FaROs
Flipping Bicycles, not taROTS
(Grab that crucifix! It's GeRO's.)
GROWing Greeks be freaks for GyROs,
GROWling, "How's your garden GROW...?"

H

Jesus...? He's the "He" who HarROWs,
HarROWS Him some saints an' HeROes
(this although He squirts a seR' hOse), 
HarROWs like there's no "tomairROWs,"
HarROWs Hell. (That Hunk's a pRO!)

I 

     (It's

vile, Is Isle of Doc MoREAU...
and Ikura Is salmon ROE.)

J 

Jury's out: did Jim* phone negROes --
Joes from BROoklyn, where a tree gROWs --
fROm extension 40 (fouR-Oh), 
Just to Jawbone Al Jar-REAU...?

     * Sgt. Jim N. Smithe-Magee

(the N stands for 'NepROmuk')

K 

King was Kill'd far, far fROm CaiRO

'cuz his eye was on the sparROW.
Martin, mi amigo caRO,
Keep us clear of war -- like WoodROW!

L 

   

Lou, aboard Achille LauRO,
Loved -- but failed -- to turn his taROT.
Had he so, he'd seen such sorROW
Launched when pirates take contROl.
(Losing Lunch of Leeks an' taRO
topp'd with carROts an' cilantRO,
Later Lou, too, Lost sang-fROid
an' -- LOL -- was Left to ROW.)

M 

James 'n' Mar'lyn: both MonROEs,

Mais, Merely one bROke bread chez CiRO's --
none at Cafe TROcadeRO.
(Also Missing: Tokyo ROse.)

N 

Gourmandette Ms Laura NyRO:

"Try the veal an' Nix the gyRO.

I'm Not old, yet I'm No tyRO,"
quoting Eco's Name O' ROse. 

O 

"Oremus!"…? Let us pray!

"OROmus!"…? Let us ROw!

("AROmas!”…? Let's let loose 

offensive odORs. Aprop(R)Os!)

P 

Mose' Plays Poker with the PhaRAOH:

"PaiR O' queens...? Pshaw: Treys...a Pai-R O'..."
Which Pal cheats...? Phone Hercule PoiROT.
(Stump'd in Po'ms, Pols rule in PROse:
is this why PhaRAOH's so moROse...?)

Q 

     "Que
RO-te, oi papai...QueRO,"

whispers Matt fROm MatamoROS.
Quiet Matt means "Te adoRO,
dude: your nose...? A dead, Red ROse."

R 

ROtten ROW...? 'Tis far fROm King's ROW.

Axl ROse ain't Marcus VarRO.
Abie's Irish ROse...? No ChaRO,
nor is Pete ROse Hank ThoREAU.

S 

Splittin'...? Shit! 'Tis Such Sweet SorROW.

Shall I Sit, till it be morROW...?
Think I'll drink Some Steins of StROH's,
then Search for clothes down Saville ROW.

T

     The

aeROdROme northeast of TruRO'S
now appROached by Taking MetRO.
There is wheR' JOsé "Quinn" TeRO
(so The song by JethRO Tull goes)
Taught The art of El ToreRO:
"Tora, Tora, Señor ToRO!"
Taunts José...as bull he ThROWs.

U

Quiz UngaRO, E. Rice BurROUGHs,

CiceRO, Great-Uncle SpiRO.
Bug Abe BurROWs, pRObe ShapiRO,
and, Until time's Up, De NiRO.
None -- not StavROs, not MiRÓ --
     can 
Understand those picaROs.

V 

VelcRO...? Vince Van Gogh Votes "SchmelcRO!"

W

     My 

Widdl' puppy -- Where, oh, WheR', OH...
Was his eye on Waters' sparROW...?
Wolf'd he too much dext- or sucROse...?
Will dogs Wag in Catfish ROW...?

X 

Xavier squats atop the PhaROs,

setting Xenophon's HieROas a polonaise-boleRO-
Xibelani dance for dobRO,
Xylophone an' Xalam -- oRO 
Deo...oRO por milagRO! 

Y

     Young 
Mary, Paul 'n' Peter YarROW:

if Youse Yells, "Ravel's BoléRO!"
while you're dancin' Day's "DanseRO..."?
Yeah! That would Yield SRO!

Z 

Zounds! The latest game fROm HasbRO

uses Zlotys, held in escROW:

Zoë's fours trounce ZorRO's  ZeROs --
after “Zixty-Zeven” thROWs.

The CoROllary

"Please, not," the Pope pleads,

"while I’m tellin' my beads..."