"Imagine girls: upstairs maids -- Pearls..." Hommage a Paul Valery or Whores with Hearts of Gold: A Constrained Nonsense Rhyme

Imagine girls: 
upstairs maids -- Pearls,
Malvinas, Merles
'n' Mallorys --
who come, then, quick-
ly, go, through Mich-
elangelo-
hung galleries.*

None nun; none crone. 
Yet each one's grown
(each tummy show'in' 
its calories)
so flush that they’ve,
though blushing, waived
all wages – tips
and salaries.

     * Pace, Prufrock.

"Your news sounds so sibilant: savage and sad..." Appeal to Potus: So: Sir, Send Some Soon Sounding Silly! A Constrained Nonsense Study in Sibilance

Your news sounds so sibilant: savage and sad.
So sarcastic, self-serving. So seismic’lly bad.
Your news sounds so “So-spins-sad-Capitol-Hill”y.
So: Sir, send some soon sounding silly!

Your news sounds so serious, sexist, severe.
So shallow. (It sucks, your sick stories I hear.)
Your news sounds so “So-dies-that-compromise-bill”y.
So: Sir, send some soon sounding silly!

Your news sounds so shattering, shoddy and shocking.
So sinical (sic) when some Spanish you're mocking.
Your news sounds so "Senate's-so-run-o'-the-mill”y.
So: Sir, send some soon sounding silly!

Your news sounds so slanted. (Some Sundays, so slow).
Soporific. So sordid. (Superior? No!)
Your news sounds so “Sev'ral-steps-back/forward-nil”y.
So: Sir, send some soon sounding silly!

Your news sounds so style-less, so slovenly, no?
So sordid: so stolid. So schlock; so "so-so."
Your news sounds so “Such-shit-drives-Jack-to-kill-Jill”y.
So: Sir, send some soon sounding silly!

(For more late-breaking news, watch this space: a work in progress)