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Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Just Say It! A New Sound Poem to Read Aloud

Who’d urge all brewers: "Post your ABVs!”
must just say "Know!"
Who’d dote on music dramas Japanese
must just say "Noh."

Who keeps a wildebeest despite its slime
must just say "Gnu."
Who, as he sings, "So, sue me!" Nathan mimes,
must just say "Nu…?" 
     * Nathan Detroit, one of the main guys in 
Broadway’s Guys and Dolls.

You’d freak for Speaker Gingrich (like Callista)…?
Just say "Newt"!
You’d "rah!" for Rochne ("Call me ‘Coach,’ not 'Mistah'!")…?
Just say “Knute"! 

Who’s sick of genders masc and genders fem
must, then, say "neut."
Who’s picking candidates who'd "End the Dem!"
again says "Newt."

You’d choose to move, to leave the Bering Straits…?
You’d just say "Nome." 
You'd post stone dwarves inside your garden gates…?
You’d just say "gnome."

You’d shout out to the dowager of Jordan…?
Just say "Noor."
You know that lightship in the Thames you're boardin'…?
Just say "Nore."

Ask’d where -- when JFK got shot -- grew grass,
you’d just say "knoll."
Ask’d who was ("Vey!") Prince Sihanouk's top brass,
you’d just say "Nol."

You're hacking Mommie…? Type her maiden name.
Then just say "nee."
Who cracks up over knights of Python fame…?
They just say 'Ni-."

You'd "friend" the ten Hebraic Patriarchs…?
You’d just say "Noah."
Give oceanic scientists top marks…?
You’d just say "NOAA."

Some Scottish nihilists (redundant, si…?):
they just say "nae."
Some other Scotish nihilists…? Let's see...
they just say "Na." 

A comic star whose folks haled from the shtetl…?
Just say "Nye."*
Atomic number 28! (It’s metal.)
Just say "Ni." 
     * I.e., sketch comedy maestro Louis 
(pronounced 'Louie').

Famed Caesar/Harbach comic flick…?
Just say "No, No, Nanette."
You'd do your Robin Williams schtick…?
Say "Na-nu"! (Don't forget.) 

The gnostics know, though all don't always say:
some just say “gnosis."
Most antiquaries love their Linear A:
they just say 'Knossos."

Rock's Jocko M…? Rock's Donny York…?
They just say "Sha-na-na."
Your feminists…? They just say "NOW."
(They're so-o-o-o-o petit bourgeoise.)

John Sununu…? 
Nonsense! (Who knew…?)

A Spoonerism ("Vale of Tears...?")

Vale of Tears…? A metaphor 
for life’s distress. (Most dread it.)  
"Tale of Virs"…? A roman 
of the Roman men who tread it.*

     Moral:
Life before (and after!) death...?
'Tis thought 'tis naught but shibboleth. 

     * The ‘it’ appearing at the end of the 
last line of verse is intended to refer to 
the valley. If that pronoun is heard as 
referring to the metaphor, then the final 
line should be amended to read “…men 
who spread it.”

Losts & Founds: An ABC

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