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Sunday, July 24, 2022

New Spooners (11)

Bio penn'd by Robert Graves.
Gruesome gram: your gams rate raves.
     Goodbye to All That / Good thigh to ol' bat

Re hoofers, who're ya trustin,' mister...?
Ma mere births, yet I've no sister.
     In Fred Astaire / Instead, a frere

Isaac thinks it thinks it thinks.
Can't you see your boyfriend stinks...?
     I, Robot / Eye beau rot

Song in which sapience takes a vacation.
Might he risk fording our fortification? 
     Mairzy doats / Dares he moats...? 

Cocktail never made with rum.
Mark Twain's Huckleberry's cum. 
     Gin fizz / Finn jiz

Word to tag espousal cheaten'. 
Question re maize -- whether eaten.  
     Fornicate / "Corn, if ate..."

Pharaoh: let our water through!
They'll get Drumpf. (They'll get you, too).
     The Aswan Dam / Thee, as Don: Wham!

Crunch all you want.
Threatens U Thant.
     We'll make more / "Me'll wake war"

Scenic Golden Gate Bridge site.
Former Dublin mayor's fight.
     Frisco bay / Briscoe fray

Cuppa joe with milk or cream.
NASA's punchline is a scream.
     Cafe au lait / Laugh...? AOK!

'Tis timed to the sun... 
not the moonlight, eh, Hon...? *
     Sooner or later / 'tain't lunar, our seder

     * Sooner or later (or Spooner or ladle),
initials exchange -- ala graveyard to cradle.
                                                             -- Anon

Entomb me in Great Plains location.
Get gay on reclining Asian
     Bury me on the lone prairie / Merry be on the prone Lei Ree

Scenic Golden Gate Bridge site.
Former Dublin mayor's fight.
     Frisco bay / Briscoe fray

Cuppa joe with milk or cream.
My next anecdote's a scream.
     Cafe au lait / Laugh, eh...? Okay...?

A Mycenaean ruin. 
Colbert and what he's doin’.
     Lion Gate / Guy on late

A further three minutes in prize fight with you. 
Count out the beats: "...an' a one an' a two..."    
     Second round / Reckon'd sound

Cowhands (defunct) herd to sound of guitars. 
Emcees of sarcasms levell'd at stars.
     Ghost riders / Roast guiders

Your sib's asleep; it ain't no nap.
The options you prefer...? All crap!
Your brother's drunk / Your druthers...? Bunk!

Perhaps new ways to steal.
Brit cop shops that are real.
     New tricks / True nicks 
                                    -- GFH

On TV, Wodehouse gets rehash'd.
Manner whereby beasts get trash'd.
     "The Code of the Mulliners" / The mode of the cullin'ers

Steals from S&L. (Not nice.)
Robert..? Yeah, he stinks on ice.
     Robs bank / Bob's rank

Grade Z: cheaper by the dozen.
Code hitch outlaws wedding cousin.
     Rotten eggs / Knot in regs 

In '46 this song was hot.
Paul and Kitty tie the knot.
     Gal in Calico / Kallen-Gallico

Finger bling shows how you feel.
Mongo's Tsar's a boorish heel.
     Mood ring / Rude Ming

Laid down macadam for me.
Held back wage (I work'd for free).
     Paved my way / Waved, my pay

I aced (all A's!) my education.
Hear me as I warn the nation.
     High marks / My "Hark!"s

Phrase which trails 'When in the course...'
Look who's yellin' 'til he's hoarse.
     'Human events' / View man: he vents 
     
Business deals in pimps 'n' 'ho's.
Spell on king" "So: where's your clothes...?"
     Sex for hire / Hex for sire

Canine army need.
Gilded lesser breed. 
     Dog o' war / Woggo d'or

Steer toward coast; I've had enough.
Hutch where's kept one's bit o' fluff.
     Head for shore / shed for whore
 
Grand Master of grotesquerie.
Deviant...but minorly.
     Merwyn Peake / Pervin' meek

Der Fuehrer of the Flugelhorn...
gets Ms. Rivers on the horn:
     Miles Davis dials Mavis. 

Matters backwards you have got.
Alphabet'cal order...not.
     The cart before the horse / The 'heart' before the 'coarse'

Kinder- und Hausmärchen lore.
Python wizard’s relic store.
    Grimms’ Tales / Tim’s Grails

     Coda 

From "Black Sox" to "The Field of Dreams."
A play with lacks pro-Juden themes.
A run which Blake and Sissel teams.
A drama ducking Yiddish memes.
Its pit band airs no klezmer screams.
No Mogen David's sewn in seams.
With script produced by Leans or Neames.
     Shoeless Joe / Jew-less show

Crispy-coated cruller -- sorta.
Up 'n' at 'em, Mr. Porter!
     Kaiser roll / Rise, Herr Cole

Menotti's saint here rents her pad.
Running plaint from lad unclad.
     Bleeker Street / Streaker bleat

Manual of joy, of pain.
Scan, you-all, the skies for rain.
     Book o' Love / Look above

Tontine sparks a comic plot.
Weed deliv'ry system’s hot!
    The Wrong Box / The bong rocks!

Never quite Br'er Rabbit's peer.
Said of Brother Johann's gear.
     Br'er Fox / Frere Bach's 

Member of the Sûreté.
Spring arrives in drizzly way. 
     Maigret / Gray May

An artful Dodger in his day.
Fitzgerald rears, then shies away.
     Roy Campanella / Coy, rampin' Ella

The world's least-uncontested zone.
The most fun had when you're alone.
     The West Bank / The best wank

A back-yard fete o'erseen by Jeeves.
The lad who monitors reprieves.
     Garden party / Pardon guard, he.

Losts & Founds: An ABC

     The Lost Ark Careless Hebrews lost the Ark  but Jones, a gentile, found it --  along with half a dozen nasty  Nazis runnin' 'ro...