One Twofer (aka Sixteen /Two/s)

Will a Tudor from Tours tool a tombstone in Toul...? One twosome from Tucson will not. (Maybe two'll.)

Will a tourist with 'tude tune a tuba in Tours...? One toucan, though toothless, might -- tabl'ing his tour.

Speakin' Greek?

Alpha Bubbe Gramma Delta
Handa Poka Sansa Joka.
Theda Bara Canna Leada
Lambda Slaughta Widda Choka.
Mara Nayda Seida Badga,
Fella: Mayka Playta Sh’warma.
Oprah Weda Protazoa:
Soona Layta Cumda Karma.

Loose translation:

Our head-of-kosher-household grandmother ("Grandma") 
deals us a game of five-card stud without including a joker.

One silent cinema star couldn't successfully direct the least- 

experienced wannabe, even using a decorative necklace.
If you'll marinade a large portion of badger meat, my friend,
you'll be able to prepare one of our favorite grill delicacies.
TV's Winfrey has gone and married a worm of a fellow. Later 
(or sooner…?) such foolishness is sure to catch up with her.

Astor & Others

Lady Astor courts disaster, 
must be truss’d in mustard plaster.
Lady Bird, we’re all assur’d,
thought LBJ’s quaint ways absurd.

Tatty Lady Chatterley!
Her prat’s grown fatter latterly.
Lady Day and Lady Di.
Each led astray by some damn guy.

The Lady Eve was born to thieve.

What’s next…? Mark’d decks shov’d up a sleeve…?
Lady Finger. Next big thing…? Gour-
mets’ faint praise: “Allure can’t linger.”

Lady, Maid of Guadalupe.
Scoop that poop from out the stoup, eh…?
Lady Hester Stanhope, quester.
Muslims essay’d to molester her.

Rages Lady in a Cage –

though flicks of bricolage may age.
Which Lady Jane…? What nine-day reign…?
(Perhaps a footnote would explain.)
Lady killer: civic pillar…?
Hardly! (More a G-spot thriller.)

Lady Luck…? Young Runyon buck,

a Broadway Puck dubb’d Sky (not Huck)
has run amok amongst the ruck
(with whom – with luck – you’ll have no truck).
By love Sky’s struck while he (the schmuck!)
to Cuba’s snuck. In old ways stuck,
Sky’d cold ways shuck. So: “bones” Sky’d chuck.
(Call'd Guys and Dolls, it doesn’t suck.)

Hooray for Lady Mondegreen.

They say she laid ‘em on the green.
Lady N’awlins. Cajun fare
in Richmond. How’d Virginians dare!

Alfred’s Lady of Shalott
enthused pre-Raph’elites – a lot.
Lady Pirates plunder’d merch.
Our Lady Queen of Poland Church.

Which lady, tattoo’d, causes buzz…?

Well…Lady Randolph Churchill does.
Lady Shiva; Lady Terps:
The first poor Batman’s space usurps.

The Lady and the Unicorn:
that tatty tapestry’s well worn.
Lady Violet, a Crawley,
sports support (a cane; a brolly).

Lady Windermere…? Her fan

(and secrets kept) help keep her man.
Lady Xin Zhui (Lady Dai)
lived years ahead of Chou en-lai.

In space they cannot hear her scream…?
Check Meryl’s Lady Yelling meme.
And if you’re feeling laissez-faire,
try Lady Zombie…if you dare.