Naval Commissions I WOULD Accept & Those I Would Not

Though long belong'd to longboats, true,

I'm wrong to throng your Wong boat, nu...?

If Hong Kong junk

I'd sail, I'm sunk,

for I hail not from Asia.

I live to steer your riverboat

but shiver near your sieve.* Your boat's

a sieve, you see.

(Plus -- pity me! --

I suffer from aphasia.)

* Uly Poe is no Jumblie.

I'd "Aye!" you in your bayou boat, 

deny you in your “Why you...?” boat: 

Cry I: “Boo-hoo!

If 'Why not you..?' 

then 'Why not me...?' as well." 

  I’d stomp snakes in your swamp boat 

but I'd swamp your psychopomp boat: 

When Death says, "Go!"

just let me know: 

I’ll hit my mark in hell. 

I'd motor in your motor boat

but vote "No!" to your boater boat:

Your straw-hat raft

is no fit craft;

it even lacks a rudder.

I'd sailor in your sail boat

but I'd fail in your white whale boat:

Just Ish comes back

once fish attack.

(Plus, Ahab makes me shudder.)

I’d troll in your patrol boat 

but I'd mock your rock-’n’ roll boat -- 

tho' I’m all ears  

for Tears for Fears, 

that pop band out of Bath. 

  I’d bring to heel your keel boat 

but I'd wheel not your schlemiel boat. 

(I’d navigate  

your billingsgate 

but not your primrose path.) 

I’d float on your banana boat 

but not your vox humana boat, 

preferring stops  

where timbre drops 

to sounds just whales can hear. 

  I’d fare well on your ferry boat 

but crash your cash-’n’-carry boat: 

My credit’s fine, 

but, bottom line, 

I’m low on dough, I fear.