"Days of Xmas" Pageant Winners

In tenth place...? Piper Spighpin. Just to enter’s been her prayer.
In ninth place...? Lady Stanzing. She’s got something on the mayor.
In eighth place...? Mae d’Zamilkin. Mae's placed ninth the last nine years.
In seventh place...? Those Swanzas women. (Just ignore the jeers!)
In sixth place...? Keysha Layan. Keysha’s such a pretty girl!
In fifth place...? Golde Rinx. She vowed she’d “give the thing a whirl.”
In fourth...? Cal (“Inga”) Bertz: “To be a nominee’s enough,”
remark’d Ms. Bertz. In third...? Fran Chence, who's seen competing in the buff.
In second place...? Ms. Tyrtle Duffs. And now, the env’lope, please…
'Tis Anna Paard! Regina Paertrie! Tied! Your Xmas VIPs!*
   
     * Victors-In-Pageant

13 Future Pop Bands: A Nonsense Alphabet

ABle Was I? Palindromic and twee.
CaDre? Your grandkids will burn their CD.

EFfusion? A foursome less fab, more forlorn. 
GHosts In Machines? Five kazoos, one French Horn. 

I, Jambot? From Ijamsville? Ja! And they’ll jam. 
KLangfarber? Lukewarm about ’em? I am.) 

Mnemosyne’ll play in a Grateful Dead vein.  
OPerabuffa? They'll classic'lly train. 

QuaRe? They'll lose EuroVis ’69
STand Up, Stupid! Pre-pre-teens, though someday they'll shine.  

The Rays? A band formerly known as UV. 
The WaX? they will polish your Tesla -- for free.

San YZidro. This band will be blessed by the Pope.
& there’s bound to be more, so abandon all hope. 

The 12 Dyes of Xmas: A Constrained "Hue"ltide Carol

On the first day of Xmas, I sent a gift to
you…dyed
"Christmas-Without-You-It's-A"
Blue.

On the second day, another gift (you’re dared to put it 
down!)…dyed 
"Let's-Pretend-That-He-Is-Parson"
Brown.

On the third day, a further gift (one gives because one
can)…dyed
"Tannenbaum-O-Tannenbaum"
Tan.

On the fourth day, one more (I pray my verse has not gone
cold…dyed
"Rings-Six-Geese-A-Laying-Five"
Gold.

On the fifth day, more bounty, some from eBay, sight un-
seen…dyed
"Sleeves-And-Who-Else-But-My-Lady"
Green.

On the sixth day of Xmas, (do not open until 
Jan.) a gift dyed
"Claus-I-Saw-Mommy-Kissing"
Xan'a.*

     * Short for 'Xantha,' with its connotation of 'yellow.'

On the seventh -- you'll adore this one (at least I hope you
might) -- …dyed
"Christmas-I-Am-Dreaming-Of-A"
White.

On the eighth, again (I hear you cry: "This guy is quite the 
joker!")…dyed
"-Risthmas-Tree-O-Kristhmus-(sic)-Tree"
Ocher.

On the ninth day, a gift you’ll not, of course, receive a
bill fer…dyed 
"Bells-It's-Xmas-In-The-City"
Silver.

On the tenth day, one dyed by me, right in my kitchen
sink…dyed 
"At-Your-Nose-Jack-Frost-Is-Nip-..."
Pink.

On the eleventh (who inaugurates such nonsense…? No one
knows!)…dyed -- no
lie! -- a "Lo-E'er-Blooming-How-A"
Rose.

On the twelfth day, a final gifting from the Xmas
Fairy…dyed
"Cheeks-Like-Roses-Nose-Like-A"
Cherry.

     And to
all a hurly-burly, never
surly, awf'lly early, rarely
churly, string-o’-pearly, none too
curly, heartfelt, surely, "Very
Merry!"