A Decade of -Insanities

(1: ABC)   

There's Anaïs Ninsanity, Black and Tansanity,
Anne Boleynsanity, East Berlinsanity,*
Blue Vein Blintzanity, Louvain Blitzanity…
and ('xcuse my "French") cuisine's Coq au Vinsanity.** 

* Some mss show 'Bowlin' Grinsanity' here. 
** Not to be confused with the NBA's Vince Carter's 
signature "Vinsanity."

(2: DEF)    

There's Dark wood tintsanity, Eastwood, Clintsanity,
Errol's (and kid sister* Beryl's) Flynnsanity --
who, it turns out, proves Flynn's evil twinsanity.
Freddie Prinzanity's Flower'd Chintzanity.

* Some mss show 'hid sister' here, a reference 
to the fact that no record of Flynn's having a sister, 
kid or otherwise, seems extant.

(3: GH)    

There's Gunga Dinsanity, Gilbey's Ginsanity, 
household Hintsanity, Harlequinsanity,
Ho Chi Minhsanity, Hester Prynnesanity.
(Question: who's not question'd Hannity's sanity?)

(4: HI)    

There's Hail to the (Washington, D.C.) 'Skinsanity,
Watson's Jim, Papp and Huck'berry Finnsanity,
Rumi the dervish's In-a-spinsanity…
and -- all too often -- Idi Aminsanity.

(5: IJ)    

There's Ivan Pninsanity, Junior Mintsanity, 
Jim DeMintsanity. (His? Mint insanity!)  
Basil and Sib's Fawlty Towers, the Bates Motel, 
Saracen's Head and Jamaica Innsanity.

(6: KL)    

There's Ed "Have you met my son Keenan?" Wynnsanity,
too little Lena or Ken Olinsanity;
Senator Levin notes no Levinsanity, 
still...there's Loretta (and Mooney!) Lynnsanity.

(7: MN)   

There's Merrill Lynchanity. (No Nell Gwynnesanity?)* 
"Not by the hair of my chinny-chin"-sanity. 
(Here, out of order, is Prince Repninsanity,
father to Ivan.** (It’s next-of-kinsanity.) 

* Nor much Geisel's Grinchanity, except seasonally. 
** Ivan Pnin -- cf verse five above.

(8: OPQR)   

There's Osamma binsaahneti, Qui-Gon Jinnsanity,
Tony Quinnsanity, Pisner Quintsanity,
Rollingpinsanity, Rin-tin-tinsanity,
Rembrandt van Rijn- (mispronounc'd as "Rin") -sanity.

(9: STU)   

There's Surat-al-Jinnsanity, Lau's Shaolinsanity,
seven-fold (more, surely!) deadly Sinsanity,
Belgian cartoonist Hergé's Tintinsanity
And (with a stretch) there is Ulstermansanity. 

(10: VWXYZ)   

There’s Vitaminsanity, Violinsanity,
triple Winsanity, Xanthosinesanity, 
Yang and Yinsanity, Howard Zinn sanity.*
Hey...let's head home: take my Zeppelinsanity 

* Historian Zinn authored an essential text, 
"The People's History of the United States," 
a must-read.

Scouts Horror

American kids learn a Boy Scout must be 
trustworthy, loyal, helpful, 
friendly, courteous, kind,
obedient, cheerful, thrifty,
brave, clean and reverent.

Republicans elected a Potus demonstrably
lying, faithless, injurious,
backbiting, ill-mannered, cruel,
obstinate, pessimistic, cheap,
cowardly, filthy and rude.

God help them…and us! They’ve inaugurated
President AntiScout, Troop 666.

Twice Seven Self Refs

     The self-referring...
...Old Testament theologian: Isaiah-Lot of Babel 
...black-ink artist law-suit defendant: So Su Me E   
...pop culture one-hit wonder: Flash N. DePann   
...Civil War reenactment Rhett Butler impersonator: Frank Lee Meideere    
...mafia enforcer: Arthur E. Cantry-Fewse 
...New York waterfront longshoreman: Ike Hood-O'Haddklasse  
...Greta Garbo fan-club recording secretary: Ivan "Toobie" Hull-Owen 
...religious zealot: Theo Lodge-Hickle  
...French national "M Congeniality" contest runner-up: Merce E. Beaucoup  
...all-around sonofabitch: Upton O'Goode  
...amateur psychologist: Itzak ("Ray") Zeevoilt  
...novelty floor lamp manufacturer's rep: Major O. Ward  
...failed eighteen-wheeler operator: Asa Lee ("Pat") deWiel
…sub-Saharan real-estate developer: Barron Wasteland 

Texts I Won't Read

Alumni donation solicitation including enclosures wherein my name's misspelled and my assigned graduation date is incorrectly indicated
Blog entry posted by Ms. Mittens, Aunt Hortense's uppity angora
Credits following any of the last several Rocky movies
Doctoral dissertation rigorously detailing certain modal irregularities observed by the candidate in several medieval Frankish Kyries
Edda entitled, in English, "Eigil's Eighty Eight Epic Exploits"
Fortune cookie insert using what are assumed to be authentic Chinese characters
Government warning label outlining penalties for its removal sewn onto new rumpus room throw pillows
Hate mail addressed to 'Current Occupant'
Instruction manual (in German) for my ex-wife’s deceased Uncle Carl's reel-to-reel wire recorder
Junk mailings mistakenly delivered to neighbor and regularly returned to me by him
KKK regional quarterly newsletter
Letter from Santa thanking young Timmie for “the yummy milk and cookies”
Message in not-quite-empty Thums Up bottle
Notae bene
Original Sanskrit vegan recipes for 100 dishes to prepare using chickpeas
Palimpsests
Quiz notes discovered in high-school yearbook from 1947
Russian translation of…anything
Secret decoder ring message detailing how to order secret decoder ring
To-do list of mine from last year jotted just prior to my myocardial infarction  
Underwater-readable ransom note
Voyager golden record currently exiting the solar system
Warning label on edible crayons manufactured in North Korea
“Xmas Greetings from Topeka” family newsletter (in green ink on red stock) from cousin Bela’s dog
“You may already be a winner” direct mail envelope
Zen koan incorporated into geranium tattoo on blind date’s left bicep

A Text-Based Countdown

 ...approach but do noT ENter…

           …author Anais NIN Enjoys a certain...
       …one ought to wEIGH The options…
        …yes, Adam, yeS,EVE,No, Abel...
                …si, Fidel, SI,Xavier, no, Raul...
                …but only iF I’VE not been assassinated…
…reports that some oF OUR aircraft are missing…
      …into the river wiTH REEl and rod…  
                  “…but thaT WOuld be wrong,” adds the President…
        …place several ON Each doorstep…
      …through the maZE,ROund the fountain…
                                                              …and on into orbit.