Repost: Tammany Hall, Folks!

His aim...? To appall, folks.

He’s framing a wall, folks.
His tweets...? Folderol, folks.
His bleat, "I don't fall, folks,
don't stumble, don't sprawl, folks."
His hands are so-o-o-o-o-o small, folks.
So: how many justices might he install, folks...?

His gazes ooze gall, folks.
His phrases...? A squall, folks.
He answers folks’ call, folks.
His folks tend to brawl, folks.
And drawl with a “y’all,” folks.
And think he's King Saul, folks.
So: which third-world dictators does he enthrall, folks...?

An indifferent pol, folks,
he claims wherewithal, folks.
His hair doesn't loll, folks
He combs with a maul, folks.
His brand makes a haul, folks.
He’s having a ball, folks.
So: when will his “telling it like it is” pall, folks...?

His moll is a doll, folks.
His kids own the mall, folks.
His Hancock's a scrawl, folks.
His tales are all tall, folks.
“He’s nuts!” some folks bawl, folks.
Thus folks mustn't stall, folks.
So: what must folks do to make Drumpf cry, “Thaneeah...
thaneeah...thaneeah...thaneeah...that's all, folks!"...?

Repost: The Loves of A Lady: A Nonsense Reggae

Filthy Captain Irv Le Smoler

fill'd de capp'd 'n' nerveless molar 

of de Lady Mondegreen 

dat gal what laid 'im on de green.
  
Head Doctor Juan Dufore Wiecks-Paigh
had dock'd her one to four week's pay. 
Nex' day, de Lady Mondegreen, 
impov'rish'd, laid ‘im on de green.
   
CDI Ronnie N. “Bjorn” Cooke, 
seedy Iranian-born cook, 
ador'd de Lady Mondegreen,
dat gal what laid ‘im on de green.

Vice Lord Al "Owen" Tudor-Welles 
was low'r'd, alone, into de wells, 
de wells o’ Lady Mondegreen,
dat gal what laid 'im on de green!

Repost: The Ant O' Nin

You've read, in blogs, of superdogs 
(remember Rin Tin Tin...?),
of supergirls and superwogs 
(think Kipling’s “Din! Din! Din!”),
of supermen and superflies. 
(You haven't...? Where've you been...?)
Now read the tale of superjudge: 
the awful Ant o’ Nin!

Although ‘Scalia’ was the name 
by which he’d thought to tame
the tsetses of judicial fame, 
he Ant o’ Nin became.
From Nin he hail'd. From Nin he bail'd: 
“I’ll never live with Ninnies!”
(Quite normal, this: Ant’s norm’s to dis 
all gypsys, gooks 'n' guineas.)

Though born of men, he morphosed when, 
a callow wen of three,
he’s bitten by Formicidae 
on whom he tried to pee.

[To be continued]

"Cognoscere" Conjugational

I now know (that’s something new)
that she now knows (yeah, he knows, too)
that we now know (as knows my gnu)
that they now know -- as so do you.
Your crew now knows – of course they do --
that it now knows. (Is ‘it’ a ‘who’...?)
Now, lest is risk'd more déjà vu,
this conjugational's through, nu...?

Me And My Shadow: A Constrain'd Alphabet

A initials 'alter ego.' 

Mon ami y mi amigo.

A starts, too, 'another you.' 

"Y'all both got bubbe’s eyebrows, nu...?"

B initials 'body double.' 

Takes the heat in times of trouble.

B, as well, starts 'blizniak.'* 

(Too late to send that brother back.)

     * Polish for 'twin.'

     

C initials 'corollary.' 

One’s okay; two's kinda scary.

C, as well, initials 'clone.' 

(How nice to know one’s not alone!)

D initials 'dvyniai.'* 

(The elder’s straight; the younger’s bi-.)
D, as well, starts 'dopplegang.' 

That’s twice – at least! – the postman rang.
     * Lithuanian for 'twin.'

E starts 'extra pair of hands.' 

She goes to bat. She understands.
E, as well, starts 'evil twin.' 

Take care! ‘Sno telling where it's been.

F initials 'faithful friend,' 

one’s kemo sabe. Help he’ll lend.
F starts, in addition, 'fetch.' 

"Which kid’s the khaver, which the kvetch...?"

G initials 'gemini.' 

(A pair I know’s call'd Clem ‘n’ Cy.)
G, as well, starts 'gimoozaabi.'* 

(Etymology’s my hobby.)
      * Ojibwe and Potawatomi for “he/she looks out in secret.” A version of the word was made famous as part of the Lone Ranger saga.

H initials 'hologram.' 

Both boys; both bald. (One sports a tam.)
H initials 'Hortons.'* Tom 

(with Addie)...? Famous soaps phenom.
        * Twins, one of whom appears on soap opera "Days of Our Lives"

I starts 'ihmiskaksoset.'* 

A pickle to pronounce...? You bet
I intials 'Ito teens.' 

Of Nippon Pop they're former queens.
     * Footnote to come: a work in progress

J initiates 'jumeau.'* 

(Have I the accent right...? Who’d know!)
J begins 'Johansson,' too. 

Young Hunter’s Scarlett’s twin. (Who knew...?)

K initiates 'karoha,' 

twin in Samar (not Samoa).
K, as well, kicks off 'kembar,' 

heard mispronounced on NPR.

L initials 'lookalike.' 

(Is not Tot Two the cuter tyke...?)
L, as well, initials 'likeness' – 

equal parts sauvage and "tyke"ness.

M initials 'mirror image.' 

Each exchange with him’s a scrimmage.
M, as well, starts 'matching set.' 

Brings meanings new to ‘tete-a-tete.’

N initials ‘nother self.' 

Both crow, “My bro’s a freakin' elf.”
N, as well, starts 'Norvo girls.' 

(That ‘s Mim and Liv to you, you churls.)

O initials 'opp’site number.' 

One be dumb and Two be dumber.
O, as well, starts 'Olsen twins.' 

Much like those Norvos, for their sins.

P initiates 'pretender.' 

(One’s of unspecific gender.)
P, as well, starts 'Polish Pair.' 

These twins make films. (Pretend you care.)

Q initiates 'quintuplet.' 

Paired’s a triplet with a couplet.
Q initials Brothers 'Quay.' 

They’re into film and puppet play.

R begins 'reciprocal.' 

One sib is hip; one sib is dull.
R, as well, begins 'reflection.' 

Viva natural selection!

S initials 'symbiant.' 

(Can you name ev’ry Dax...? I can’t)
S, as well, starts 'surrogate.' 

Resemblances seem clear…somewhat.

T initials 'Tweedle brothers.' 

Selfsame father; diff'rent mothers.
T starts 'twin' as well as 'tvilling': 

flesh and spirit both unwilling.

U initials 'Ubermensch,' 

the better self (in Deutsch, not French).
U, as well, starts 'ut’rine double.' 

Both survive…within a bubble.

V starts 'verisimilar' – 

not fine when Heinrich Himmilar.
V, as well, starts 'vardøger.' 

To play the twin’s been hard on ‘er.

W starts 'Wetherbee.' 

He’s Tony’s twin. A wether, he.
W starts 'wulawa.' 

Both simulacra drool, a flaw.

X starts 'xystos.' X starts 'xyst.' 

They’re language doublets. (Don’t get piss'd.)
X, as well, starts 'Xerox copy.' 

(She’s so slick. Why’s he so sloppy...?)

Y initials 'Young.' One's Will. 

Twin Rupert fills this double bill.
Y initials 'yokalogue.' 

This pair’s enough to choke a blog.

Z...? That letter kickstarts 'zwilling' 

(two’s okay, though three prove chilling)
and 'Zikarsky' (Bjorn und Bengt). 

Enough with twins. My vision’s spent.

Repost: Livin' In The U Ass A

 U! ASS! A! U! ASS! A!
The land where fundaments hold sway. 
Take Kansass. Just you "ass" around:
gluteus maximi abound. 

In Texass...? Duffs 'n' fannies...? Very
commonplace -- cf Rick Perry. 
Arkansass's keister count
has "reared" its head: there, backsides mount.

Alasska's buttocks...? Wall-to-wall.
(Those "cheeky" Palins, you recall.) 
Massachusass derrieres...? 
Excessive. (Please: avert your stare.)

Wassconsin's "ass"ets...? More than few.
They've tails. They've tushes. Rear ends, too.
And Tennassee's not far "behind."
There, beaucoup butts 'n' breeches find. 

Nebrasska's bums 'n' bottoms...? Ample.
Haunches, heinies...just a sample. 
Wasshington, Our Nation's Cap:
of prats a veritable frappe. 

To list’ners who “ha-r-r-r-RUMPh!” I’d say:
“Take stock of your petooties, eh...?”
Yes, every day is "Prat"terday
when livin’ in the U Ass A!  

Prosopogostichs for Louisa May Alcott

Not unpleasant to know...? L. M. Alcott.
Lou (like Anne, Charl and Emily Bronte)
penn'd no tomes treating Jersey Joe Walcott,
Joe's obsessions (Joe loved three-card Monte),
or Joe's sleep habits -- Joe used a small cot,
not a Hollywood King as did Ponti, 
who's been heard to cry, "Let's to bed, Alcott!
Abudanza, Louisa! Avanti!"

     * Italian film producer Carlo Ponti 

Three Exquisite Corpseless Limericks

 I 
There’s this guy, do or die, Bernie Sanders.
Pumpkin pie, ham on rye, Peter panders.

Merwyn Peake, so to speak.
Wednesday week, hide-‘n’-seek.
Please stand by, eye for eye, geese or ganders.

II 
Lived this man, cheek of tan, Don DeLillo.
Spic and Span, Ku Klux Klan, cigarillo.
Come to grief, twelve-mile reef.
Are ye “deef”...? Where’s the beef...?
Or (to pan the Qur’an): “Armadillo!”

III
‘Twas this bloke, country folk, Raul Julia.
Pig-in-poke, Roanoke. (Would I fool ya...?)
Over there, share 'n' share. 
Truth or dare, braid the hair.
Take a toke, have a soak, hallelujah!

Islands In The Stream Of Consciousness

 

Repost: Film Flam or Pointed Digests of Cinema Classics

     1939 The Wizard of Oz
In Oz, your monkeys soar, your wizards roar.
You’re not, young Dot, in Kansas anymore.

     1939 Gone with the Wind
More ante-bellum “bim-bam, thank you, ma’am”...?
Quite frankly, Yankees just don’t give a damn.

     1941 Citizen Kane
What nonsense! “Rosebud!” signifies no sled.
To wit, Kane’s lit. “Rosé, Bud!”’s what he said.

     1942 Casablanca
Though famed for Bogart’s bid, “Again, Sam! Play it!”
the question bides: did Bogie even say it...? 

     1950 All About Eve
A bitter Bette rides the stairs. (Takes flight…?)
“Make fast your 'belts. This bodes a bumpy night.”

     1954 On the Waterfront
Steiger’s Chas “The Gent”; Lee Cobb’s the jerk.
Mauldin’s priest goads Marlon’s brash Young Turk.
Saint, god knows, as good as goes berserk.
But who’s the dude who crows, “Let’s go to work!”...?

     1979 Alien
“Aliens!!” cries poor Sigourney’s team.
(C'est space, alors: c'est none can hear 'em scream.)

Repost: You'd Chase Nice Views...?

You'd chase nice views of northern lights...? 
Aurora Borealphabet.
You'd waste one -- two...? -- licentious nights...? 
Explore the Bacchanalphabet.

An ABC with sage brush in its hair...? 
Hi, Chaparralphabet!
An eighteenth-cent'ry-age salonnière 
you'd tap...? De Staëlphabet.

Who’d brave an ABC with cheese 
needs taste test Ermanthaalphabet.
Who craves a futh of females...? He's 
obsessed! (La Femme Fatal'phabet...?)

This ABC shows war is hell: ye
gads! Guadalcanalphabet!
View Abie's Seafood Smorgas/Deli...? 
Say: “Kogod's Halalphabet.”

Armenian; Cyrillic; Greek...?
In Internationalphabet.
A Montreal Québécois geek 
employs a joyful Joualphabet.

Where letters flourish under stress 
one finds Kilopascalphabet.
Where letters nourish one, repress-
sing calories...? Lo-calphabet.

Where’s “Para toda mal y para toda bien!"...? 
Mezcalphabet.*
Which proto-ABC's from way-back-when...? 
Neanderthalphabet.

     * The Mezcalphabet translates its motto as follows:
"Tis good when things are goin' great and good when
things are not first rate."

Its E's for 'Earp.' Its D's for 'Doc.' Its O's...? 
OK Corralphabet.
"Outstanding...and they're mild..." -- 'cept up your nose: 
the vile Pall Mallphabet.

You favor glyphs o'er runes and letters...? 

Quetzalcoatlphabet.
You savor stiffs who moon their betters...? 

Have a go at Ralphabet!

For barnacles and salps...and oysters, too...? 

Sublittoralphabet.
South Africans....? there's but one choice for you. 

Ta-da! Transvaalphabet.

Type 'h, t, t, p, colon, double slash...' 

Get URLphabet.
If you love knights, round tables, swords with swash, 

you’ll love the 'Val'phabet!

Mmm...mmm...an ABC in cans of Campbell's soup...? 

Warholphabet.
Oh-oh! Another -- in Iran's "encounter group": 

Xalaalphabet.

In southern climes, y’all take yer time 'n' all...

to drawl y’all’s Y'allphabet.
An ABC for Jerry, Izzy...all the Zals...? 

Ze Zalphabet.

Repost: Abecedarial Celebrity/Verbal Meme Pairs, Constrained (Incomplete)

       [AZ: Absolute Zero, Alexis Zorba]

"Absolute Zero's one get-go,* albeit a bleak..." 

specs Alexis, who's married, with children, and shrugs, "Hey! I'm Greek.

   
     * I.e., a get-go like the Great Get-Go, sometimes mistaken for the Big Bangle.


     [BY: Be Yourself, Boris Yeltsin]

"Be Yourself! (HO* whom else would you be...?" asks (rhetoric'lly) Boris.  
"To be somebody else might cause Mother** some serious tsoris.*

     * Russian Cyrillics for 'but' and pronounced (roughly) 'noh.'  ** I.e., Mother Russia, of course.

     [CX: Contemn Xenophobes, Cugat, Xavier]
     

"Contemn Xenophobes! Contemn..." Rhumba King Cugat repeats.  
(Just as he would be treated, each stranger this vir bonus* treats.)

  
     * What the good man does is always right, or so suggest the Grimms.

     [DW: Do Without, Dionne Warwick]
     

"Do Without! Pledge thy pounds to the poor," warbles Dionne (the song bird) --  
though it's Bacharach (Burt) who'll at last teach her right word from wrong word.

  

     [EV: Every Valley, Edward Villella]
     

"’Every valley exhaulted shall be; every rough place made plain...’:   
I shall dance thee that text," Edward vows, "in a Balanchine vein."

  

     [FU: Fed Up, Felix Unger]
     

"Fed Up! UFOs, URLs, UXBs..." fumes our Felix.
"In the end, all they yield is some abecedarial helix."

 

     [GT: Gin (&) Tonic, Gene Tunney/Tierney]
     

"Gin...and Tonic...and juice of one lime: pour the lot over ice..." 
prescribes Gene.* "Good advice," echoes Gene.** "An innocuous vice!"

 
     * Actress Tierney  ** Pugilist Tunney

     [HS: He (versus) She, Hailie Selassie]
     

"He v. She...? The distinction's ambig," differentiates Hailie. 
"One's call'd Shlomo. But what's in a name...? Life's a Pi; life's a Riley..."

 
     [IR: I, Robot, Irene Ryan]
     

"I, Robot, rest my case," in tones Rumpolean...

roars Irene. "I'd rap it, were I Rock 'n' Rollean."

 

     [JQ: John Quincey, Jose Quintero]
     

"John Quincey's not the seventh Chief Exec," corrects José.
"He's number six, post James Monroe...but what the heck! (More: what the hey!!)

 

     [KP: Key Personnel, Kendrick Perkins]
     

"Key Personnel...? Kevin...? Paul...? Rajon...? Ray...?" Kendrick Wonders.*

Then Perk's traded, which trade shall yet prove Boston's biggest of blunders. 

     * Garnett, Pierce, Rondo, Allen, kendrick: all former Celtics.

     [LO: Leigh/Olivier, Laugh Out (Loud) 
      

Leigh/Olivier, Lunt/Fontaine: which duo's dropp'd from the list 
of best thespian pairs...? Jolie/Pitt...? LOL! They’d be miss'd...?

 

     [MN: Machiavellian...? Not, Mike Nichols]
     

"Mach'avellian, not to say cynical: 'twas just her way," 
muses Mike, as he pegs one-time partner, the late Elaine May.

 

     [NM: Not Much, Norman Mailer]
     

"Not much!" mutters Norman, when asked if he liked married life. 
"Good when naked, far less good when dead: much depends on the wife."

 

     [OL: Ozymandias: Look, Orlando Lasso]
   

Ozymandias: "Look on my burg, Mr. Big, and despair!"
(Or Orlando: "Give ear to my music...or not -- I don't care.") 

     (a work in progress) 


[PK: P. Kilbride]

[QJ: Q. Jones]

[RI: R. Ingersoll]

[SH: S. Houston]

[TG: T. Geisel]

[UF:   ]  

[VE: V. Emmanuel]

[WP: W. Demarest]

[XC: Xavier Cugat (again)]

[YB:   You Bet!]

[ZA:   ]