A
As you haul coals to Newcastle,
might you, por moi,
amass aardvarks to sell
in Abel-Beth-Maacah...? *
* Biblical sources mention a wise woman
who dwelt there but make none of a
live-animal market.
B
Be he t(hr)ower of babble...?
Blame (sob!) my bum habit,
my culpa! But Barrymore's bro’s
been a babbit!”
C
Encore, Jorge Luis Borges!
Cor de l'Argentine eez Jor: Heez
cris de coeur enhances stories
cach'd een Chechen Cacci'tores!
D/E
When AM added Daddy-O,*
deft DJ, to my rahd-i-o,
they proved: extending feelers
yields emcees instead of spielers.
* Chicago radio personality Holmes Daylie (1920-?)
F
Affairs o' the fart
felt in far-off terrains
fetch foul redolence – and
faintly visible stains.
G
Giggl’ing, one Googles,
“three gaggles o' geese,”
crying, "Larry* and Sergey*:
please leave me in peace!"
* Larry Page and Sergey Brin,
founders of Google
H
‘High-hat,’ ‘high-hand,’ ‘high-
horse,’ ‘high holy days...’
'high-'…HAH! (A case of
“damn'd with tainted ‘frase’”...?)
I
Invoking my μους-, I
(no Greek) sue for news:
“Ανδρα μαλαπολλ' εννεπα μοι…”
It's Achilles...? Nope! Showies-
'N'-Tellies insist Hellene
Ilii* (Helen of Troy).
* Genitive singular of 'Ilium.'
pronounced "Ee-lee-eye.'
J
My menage during haj during
Raj (just for fun)
stanched my stutter. Of "...jej-jej...jej-
june…" all heard none.
K
let's kill the tax on
Nico’s Delft or Spode.
Just kick Nic’s knickknacks' taxes
down the road.
L
Aboard the good ship Lollypop, all’s good.
(Such sacch'rin smarm's the stuff of songs of Shirl's.*)
Let's, suckers, cease! Let's stop all Sucker Suck-Ins!
Such sucking leaves obese, balloon-like girls.
* Shirley Temple
M/N
Your pharaoh dies, befriends my goat --
the pair grows fairly chummy.
Then Nurse and Mommy make a film:
"The Nanny Meeps The Mummy."
O
The Fool shall not
for Mongoose vouch,
but Cobra choose...?
That's odd. that's...OUCH!
P
Pollute Pa's porridge...?
Prime Pop's pot...?
Please stop! Put in plu-
'pepper'...not!
Q: Go west...? Not if you know
what's m-m-m, m-m-m, good for you.
Quick! Go east on that
Qarghaliq-Qaraqum Trail!*
Get fair Bar-B-Q'd Coq...
and good Bar-B-Q'd Quail.
* The direction travelled (ENE, roughly)
between two Chinese cuisine hotspots.
R
I.S.O. route
or ring road warrior...?
Best request
the Brothers Boyer!*
* S. James, 9, and A. Zane, 7 1/2
(ages, not jackboot sizes)
S
All at sea in Seas Sargasso,
sailors may request a lasso.
Sassafras's gas shall pass,
but schlusselfiedels?* "Such a ass!" **
* Kinds of hurdy-gurdy **Pace, Mr. Dickens.
T
Kitt's kit...? That pattern’s
known as tattersall.
But I’ve left torn
these knit togs -- tatters, all.
U: 'Uacuus'...? Ablative singular for something, surely.
I'd figured I'd bagg'd me
a gnu, up until
I'd looked under the fur
and found you, Uncle Phil!
V
"Vav-vav-...vav...a vav-...va-v-...vavoom!"
We hear this stutter! But from whom...?
It’s Dr. D-cup, I presume --
she of the fabulous ba-zoom.
W: Perhaps the window washer did it.
Who...? 'Twas Woodrow Wilson's widow.
Where...? Near Wicklow West. What...? Dead.
When...? All clues suggest last Wednesday.
Whew! (We won't ask, "Why...?") How...? Bled.
X
Mix xanthoma with rosacea:
the resulting skin disease
is what -- when six xiphopagi repaint
the xerox room -- one sees.
Y
To marry your mother
so many years back...?
My mistake (don't talk back!):
blame the yackety yak!
Z
They sang "Zizzi-zizzi-...!" yesterday
and "...boom-boom-aay!" today.
What shall sing zyzzogetons* tomorrow...?
None but they can say.
* The very last word -- in South American leaf hoppers and in my pocket dictionary.
