afternoon tea
gets you one lump and two
of that gal's LSD.
Because Auntie Bellem’s
pro Texas succession,
shall urge she a new
Northern War of Aggression...?
Crazy Aunt Colonie’s
"doin' that dance,”
wearing Uncle’s new jodhpurs!
Look: Aunt’s in his pants!
Doesn’t Auntie D'Pressant
seem lucid today...?
She's less manic, less panicy.
Caught she “The Gay”?
Enter the storm cellar,
Auntie Em! Go!
One must not stay “Aunt Erior”
when twisters blow.
Fritz Creek: there dwells Auntie Frieze,
hous'd with her hubby.
The temp’s Hyperborean.
(Lucky they’re chubby.)
Granted: Great Auntie Grafity’s
signature tune
must be Les Paul and Mary Ford’s
“How High the Moon.”
Hey, Auntie Hero.
How goes it with you...?
Feeling seedy...? Or greedy...?
Or just feeling blue...?
In light of Aunt Iquity’s
ninety-odd years,
some applause
from her nonagenarian peers.
Joining Auntie Jentacular’s
pre-breakfast capers...?
Be sure to pack
plenty of cigarette papers.
Knahck (Auntie Knahck,
aka Auntie K),
unlike Huxley, penned her “Antic Hay”
in one day.
Like her twin sister, Knahck,
Auntie Lahck brakes for nowt,
nihil, nix, nada, nothing:
poor gal’s got the gout.
Maybe Auntie McCassar
does o’erdo the oil.
Adipocerous...? Nossir:
just Uncle’s “gran’ goil.”
Never naughty, but nice,
Auntie Niceene has been
like a father to me
(though I speak with chagrin).
Only I
ever got Uncle Otto to tell
of the time back in Turkey
when Auntie Och fell.
Pretend Auntie Pursperant’s
odor’s of flowers;
She’s Jewish – old school –
and quite chary of showers.
Quiz Great Auntie Quayted;
her memory’s choice.
Her nostalg’ae abound.
(What’s unsound is her voice.)
Recall that few aunts gel
and most aunts do not.
Auntie Raysist, when team'd,
ties a Gordian Knot.
So: Auntie Semitic’s
invited to tea...?
With her mate Auntie Raysist...?
Then, don’t invite me!
Tell me, Aunt Tietum:
how many men died
in that Civil War battle
(read ‘pact suicide’)...?
Unless you’re a sharp
or adept at a sting,
playing poker with Auntie Upp
won’t be your thing.
Very well, Auntie Vyrus,
you’ve proven your point:
You’ve infected my software
and stunk up the joint.
Will Auntie Worre rally,
now she’s caught my cold...?
'Tis a case of “The Fortunes of Worre,”
so I’m told.
Xie Guozong (Andy Xie)
knows his capital stock.
Auntie Xie hides her hoard
in her grandfather’s clock.
You’ve heard Auntie Yeest
curse her ringworm and thrush...?
She just can't seem to give
vaginitis the brush.
Zeal’ is what’s heard when folks ask,
“What’s the word,
with which line Auntie Zion’s
denyin’ occurred...?"
Aunt Tipathie, Auntie Ballistik,
Aunt Hill,
Aunt Eater, Aunt Arctique:
all aunts, if you will.
Aunt Igonee, Auntie Lope…
oodles of aunts.
But…isn’t it time we gave
uncles a chance...?
