Oonly Coonect! or Woon't Yoou Be My Oone & Oonly: a Loony Valoontoone

Andy Annie Rooney 
loves Algonquin J. Calhoun. He 
(Sarkozy) loves Carla Bruni.
Loves the boondocks Daniel Boone? 
(Does Cameroon love Rosie Clooney?
Lorna Doone love Lorna Doones.) 

Earthquake McGoon (fame long since flewn)
dislikes Gene Austin, first to croon. He -- 
Spike, Pete 'n' Harry, each a Goon – 
love Michael B, who left too soon.
(Ja'far Abdullāh al-Mā'mūn
adored his dad, Caliph Harun.)

Do I love (not to pop immune) 
"Memphis in June"? I love that tune, 
though when I croon it to Estonia's 
elite, 'twould be erroneous 
to label 'em "Estoonians": 
they tend to tip in Kroon. 
(Might someone lend me a doubloon…?
Stop! Sidebars rend my penn'd lampoon.)

Mr. Mullins (known as Moon), he 
of the comical cartoon:
his love for racetrack and saloon
makes a celeb of this buffoon.      

Gen'ral Scott (christen'd Matoon): he 
loves America’s commun-
ity. While Lyman fears Scott's loony,
Scott thinks Lyman's too poltroony.
Their brouhaha's nigh "High Noon"-y. 
More? 'Twas less than opportune.

Big Easy's rag -- Times-Picayune – 
hates Ms. Katrina. (Damn typhoon!) 
Its news knells nowt of far Rangoon –
nor its monsoon, which leaves sheaves strewn. 

Giulietta nee Masina
playing teeny Gelsomina 
dies unlov'd by Zampano. 
(Note: Tony Quinn’s a phony quoon.)

McCartney's Rocky -- young Raccoon
whom Paul'd call’d, early on, 'Sassoon' --
loves Lil...or Nancy...or Magill --
depending 'ow one 'ears the tune. 

Whom Tommy Tune loves is unknoon.
Vidal Sassoon loves gloves Walloon
and hats of xanthin (not xanthoon).

And what of you, in sandals shoon...? 
Do you love me as I love you 'n'
Howard Zinn -- who loved to zing
the upper classes, massas born
with mouths awash in silver spoons –
him...'n' kazooin'...?

Whoomsoever you love, Happy Valoontoone's Day!

Crossbreeds or Diversity

How best repopulate our zoo?
Use crossbreed copulation…do!
When critters red seed beasties blue,
each crop dropp’d pops up stronger…nu?
(Which makes the planet stronger, too).
Below’s bipartisan review.

An alligator pokes your pony?

All together: allimony!

Baboon blades been beddin’ rabbits?

Badda-bing! Bred: baby babbits.

Cassowaries marry moles?

Check out the potluck cassowoles!

Dingoes diddle dromedaries?

Dropp’d are darlin' dingoebaries.

Efts a-fertilizin’ pheasants?

Each flat’s fill’d with efterveasants.

Fecund fleas philand’rin’ civets?

Freakin’ A: fleabertyjivets!

Gobies all agog for rooks?

Get set for gobs of gob’legooks!

Hedgehog humps anemone?

He brings about hedgemone..

Inchworms infiltratin’ ‘gators?

Itsy-bitsy inchubators.

Jackal-juice-injected fox?

Jeepers! Up jumps jack’l-a-box.

Kudu couplin’ with a tuna?

Krikey! That’s one big kahuna.

Linked: il lamprey e medusa?

Look, Giuseppe! Lampreydusa!

Mister Mack’rel? Meet Ms Loon!

Might we soon see a mackaroon? 

No narwhal’d nail no nice gazelle?
No way, Jose? Doh! Nar-do-welle!

Orang o’ercomes (oh, my!) a mule…yes?

Oy! Enjoy your orang-jul’yess!

Panda/hormogonium

produces pandamonium.

Quails co-habbing with some hounds?

Queues of quailifying rhounds!

Ringworms ravish’d by a mole.

Result? A lot of ringmarole.

Safe sex ‘twixt sardine and gorilla

still sets loose some sardsporilla.

Thistlebird ties knot with pig,

throws pigbird…NOT! (Throws thigmajig.)

Unicorn crossbreeds with bear.

Unlikely urchin? Undiewear.

Voles invade Komodo dragons?

Voila tout! New (two!) voleswagons.

Wives a whippoorwill with raptor.

Whelp resulting? Whippoorsnaptor.

Xylophaga espous’d to drone?

Xed out! Or shout, “A xylophrone!”

Your yak has shack’d up with a poodle?

You’ve a dandy yakeedoodle.

Zobo sleeps with bees and yaks?

Zounds! Stars are born: new zoobeeyaks.

But, marriage or a civil u…

or who wears pink and who wears blue…
or who’s to use the ladies’ loo…
or who’s to say “I do” to who?
Such stuff’s a bunch o’ ballyhoo…
and isn’t up to me or you.