The Changing's Hard At Buckingham Palace: the Dark Days & Darker Nights of Charles III

     i. 

A grave new world view greets the former 

Prince of Wales today.
For example, here's the king short hours ago:
"Unaccustom'd as I am to be king," 

Charles is heard to say --
whereupon he clicks his heels and stubs his toe.

     ii. 

Another day, it's speeches: Charles is 

handed an array --

vellum, Lorum ipsum filling ev'ry page.

"Unaccustom'd as I am to greeking," 

Charles is heard to say --

whereon he stubs his toe while exiting the stage.

     iii. 

December 25th, the king's most 

num'ro uno day.

(He has written Father Christmas for a pen.)

"Unaccustom'd as I am to peeking," 

Charles is heard to say,

I see failure to deliver yet again."

     iv. 

"The Palace boasts too many pillows 

cased in gold lamé,

sconces, paintings, clocks...but wait! I've an idea!

Unaccustom'd as I am t'antiquing," 

Charles is heard to say,

"let' us host an auction, then head to IKEA."

     v. 

Wembley! EFL Cup Final! 

Footie's finest day! 

And it's Chelsea versus Manchester United!

"Unaccustom'd as I am to streaking," 

Charles is heard to say,

"run with me; I guarantee you will be knighted."

     vi. 

"Those puddles in the throne room: mine...? Whose 

stains 'neath the bidet...?

And who can tell what puddling portends...?

Unaccustom'd as I am to leaking," 

Charles is heard to say,

"I have ruled the Palace purchase more Depends."

     vii. 

A grave new world view's led the former 

Prince of Wales astray.

Owns up Charles, "I figur'd being King'd be fun.

Unaccustom'd as I am to freaking," 

Charles goes on to say --

whereon a hand is seen unholstering a gun.

Right-wing Science

 When they posit how space-time is curv'd,
 they don't mean us to blast off unnerv'd,
 just that quarks they'd intended 

 to split ended bended.
 (To put the thing bluntly: they'd swerv'd.)

     So, to stave off our being ill-serv'd,

 somehow thinking their thinking's been perv'd,

 they'd scrap "Emc²"!

 (For that crap they've ne'er cared.)

 Thus appearances press on, preserv'd.

Bad Mothers & Others

     Mother Russia, Mother Divine, 

Mother Plucker, Mother Night: with so 

many bad mothers to choose from, 

one hardly knows where to begin.

     From "Bum Mums, Bible Edition"

 

Cain's mother -- already familiar with sin --

neglected to teach her tot: "Smite not thy kin!"

     Mrs. Noah concerned with t'where best beast pairs park,

nearly failed to find room for her boys on the ark.

     Moses's ma plopp'd her pup in the Nile.

What luck! He steer'd clear of that starv'd crocodile.

     From "Bum Mums, Nursery Edition"

 

Recall you that mother who dwelt in a shoe...?

Make no mistake: she knew just what to do. 

     Taking a page out of Marquis de Sade,

she spoil'd all her children...nor spared not the rod.

     With no bread on their plates and small broth in the pot,

she thrash'd 'em...then bedded 'em three to a cot.\

Here's a mum, one kin to Hubbards,

non-exempt from empty cupboards,

running short of bones to feed her Rover.

Thus her kids -- both girls and boys --

once they'd eaten all their toys,

rented sep'rate bedsits west of Dover. 

 

     Others

I know'f an ol' cove who caught COVID.

But the tale of his ailment this cove hid.
"No more grins, no more rhymes.
Doh! Such 'int'restin' times'!"
(Do, in lieu, view his new quid-pro-quo vid!)

Our asparagus broker's gone bust.

He's carnivorous! (Isn't he just.)

Still, Asparagus Man's 

ware's asparagus flans.

(Martha Stewart construes 'em "a must.")

It's gospel that the politician/varmint Gopher Cleveland

hails from nowhere in Ohio but a wholly make-believe land.

But half a mo -- there's still more:

Cleveland's VP, Mallard Fillmore,

has align'd with Jews for Jesus and removed to Tel Avivland.