Salternatives

Salternatives: A Charm City Sonnet

Part One

It's routine hue's not green, not blue: the yellow Bal'mer Salt Box.

But let me introduce to you the Bal'mer Salt Box alt box.

One's home to News's raven muse: the Charlayne Hunter-Gault Box.

Use single straw -- or two (you choose): the Double Choc'late Malt Box.

One holds wa-a-ay more than all its parts: the David Marr Gestalt Box.

The Big One's scaling off the charts: the San Andreas Fault Box.

This octal icon rules the streets: the Reach a Screechin' Halt Box.

This food lab houses serious eats: the Kenji López-Alt Box.

"I'm outta dough; I cannot lie...": the Student Loan Default Box. 

Where P***yGrabster goes to die: the Sexual Assault Box.

 

   

Part Two 

Comics herein limn'd...? The best! The 'Toons by Dudes Dubb'd Walt Box.

(Poe* draws as well...in Berlin West: Poe's Lebensunterhalt Box.)

This serves to store your foreign car: the English say 'Renault' Box.

These contents tell volks who you are: the Mispronounced 'Inhált' Box.

Your bubbe calls it liquid gold: where's 'z'...? Behind the 'Shmalt' Box.

This...? Home to hordes of Barb'rys bold: the '-er, Rock o' Gibrault-' Box.

Medievals used this for their church: the Pitch'd-brick Barrel Vault Box.

Embrace the flip; avoid the lurch: the Triple Somersault Box.  

This holds the tablets of the law: the Thou Shalt Not/Thou Shalt Box. 

Decryptions Turing oversaw: the AI's Alan's Fault Box.

    

 

Codetta 

It's routine hue's nor green nor blue, the Yellow Bal'mer Salt box.

That said, this last one's red: the "I Dictatoheads Exalt!" Box.

    * Ulysses Poe, aka The DMV's Doggerel Dickinson, is a Baltimore

poetaster/illustrator and creator of the texts and images you're presently perusing.