In-
dicative, subjunctive, inter-
rogative moods:
as three
moods grammatical, I'd grade 'em
"fair."
But when
task at hand is grabbin' folks' at-
tention 'n' such,
then the
mood imperative just can't com-
pare.
A-
bandon hope all ye who enter!
Ask the man who owns one!
Blast off!
Baciami, bambino! Break a
leg!
Cher-
chez la femme! Cut! Curb your pet! Con-
fess! Cross at the light!
Duck! Di-
vide 'n' conquer! Do not make me
beg!
Ex-
eunt! Enter laughing! Eat my
shorts! En Garde! Enjoy!
Fug-
gedaboudit! Fear the Turtle!
Freeze!
Gag me!
Gent'men...start your engines! Go to
hell! Gimme a viskey!
Hi-yo,
Silver! Help me! Hold the mayo...
...please!
In-
to the breach once more! Imagine!
If ya got 'em, smoke 'em!
Join the
Navy...(Jump!)...
...and see the world! Just
do it!
Kill 'em!
Katy bar the door! Keep off the
grass! Kiss me goodbye!
Laugh, clown,
laugh! Look out below! Let go! In-
tuit!
Merge!
Mind the gap! Make mine a double!
Move! Mail in your answers!
No
swimming! Nota bene! Name that
tune!
Out!
Onward, Christian soldiers! Open
fire! Off with his head!
Pass that
peace pipe! Piss off! Promise her the
Moon!
Quit
buggin' me, man! Quote your Bible!
Quiet that preschooler!
Re-
lax! Run for your life! Reach for the
sky!
So:
stop me if you've heard this one! Sell
short! Stand by your man!
Tell 'em
Groucho sent ya! Trim my sideburns!
Try!
Up 'n'
at 'em! Use your freakin' brains! Un-
hand that woman, varlet!
Ve-
nite adoremus! Vamos!
Vote!
Wait,
wait, wait, Mister Postman! Win with
Wilkie! Whack-a-mole!
Xero-
graph your freakin' promissory
note!
Yield to
traffic in the circle! Yerd 'em!
Yankee go home!
Zip-
lock your chanterelles lest they de-
cay!
(And
always, always, always let your
conscience be your guide!
Now,
practice your imperatives! O-
kay...?)
Stop!
* * * * *
Codetta
A-
rise and walk! Brush
up your Shakespeare!
Call me Ishma-
el! Do not
do the Mash'd Po-
tato! Earn your
keep!
Feed my
lambs...! Grow where you're
planted! Hang 'em
high! Ice that cham-
pagne! (Return to
"Feed my lambs" and
tack on "...Feed my
sheep!")
Jump for
joy! Kill all the
Reds! Leave it to
Beaver! Marry
me! Next, name that
tune! Off with her
head! Please, play it,
Sam!
Quote the
Second Book of
Kings! Rinse and re-
peat! Send in the
clowns! Then, tote that
barge! (And lift that
bale!) Up yours, Ma-
dame!
Visit the
sick! Wake up and
smell the coffee!
Xerox your left
thigh!
You had
better neither
pout nor shout!
Zamboni this!
Goodbye!
