One utters the A word
as one’s mates move Mayward.
Admired…? Nope! I fear it's
enmired. (Too much March.)
The B word Tru* hollers –
to guarantee dollars
pols pass stop, at las,'
on his desk -- shows tru' starch.
* Not author Capote but former
Buck-Stopper-in-Chief Harry S.
'Cuckold’ and 'drunkard'
The C word gets mention'd
by nerds ill-intention'd,
the gals of whose pals
toy with boys on the side.
The D words…? They're said
when too much liquid bread
lets one's bro into
haut dipsomania slide.
'Enema' and 'fart'
The E word shoots shivvers
up colons, down livers,
for rectal dysfunction's
no man's mug o' tea.
Though not what you think 'er,
the F word's a stinker
when gas up the ass
is one's fate -- accompli.
'Green' and 'halitosis'
The G word, though being
the new blue to many,
is bann’d in all red states.
(Do you vote in any...?)
The H word...? They say
he said she said I've got it.
(I say: Vescere bracis meis*...
or: sod it!)
* Latin -- and vulgar Latin
at that – for "Eat my shorts!"
'Injun' and 'jap'
A Native American insult –
the I word.
Down under, it's 'abo' –
though such'd not be my word.
The J word,
in Double-U-Double-U-2,
seem'd acceptable then.
(Oh! The evil men do!)
'Kike' and 'lesbo'
Down the last ring of hell
one imagines Herr Ado'ph
pronouncin' the K word...
then laughin' his haid off.
Misogynist man-children
whisper the L word...
then snort...and continue
itiner'ries hellward.
'More' and 'nothing'
The M word gets mention'd
by Dickens's Twist
(all who do do get more...*
though with slaps on the wrist),
while the N word,*
to die-hard creationists...? Weird!
They insist this world's made
by some blade in a beard.
* Oliver famously asks for
"more, please" as gruel is
served out.
'O-rings' and 'panties'
It took Richard* to bring up
the O word; he show'd
how, because the things froze,
NASA's Challenger blow'd.
The P word...? On Seinfeld
this shorthand for 'scanties'
proves mentionable.
(Elaine mentions the _______!)
* Physicist Feinman
'Quik' and '
Don't mention the Q word
when visiting Hershey:*
they'll soak you in sauce
till you're "beggin' for mershey."
You're suspected of being the R word...?
McCarthy
will ruin your life –
till you're "beggin' for marthy.”
* In Pennsylvania
'Shit' and 'tit'
Swung the hammer...and miss'd.
Hit the thumb: "Ow!" Got piss'd.
Form'd: the agonized fist.
Now the S word gets hiss'd.
The T word means 'breast,'
like most mammary monikers:
'chesticles,' 'sweater meat,'
'hooters,' 'boobs,' 'honkers'...
'Ubu' and 'vagina'
'Tis OK if one mentions
the U word in Art.
Oh, if only we'd see it,*
and take it to heart.
There were days when the V word
was strictly forbidden.
Then enter'd Eve Ensler.
Now, nothing stays hidden.
* E.g., "Ubu Roi," the theater-of-
the-absurd piece by Alfred Jarry.
'Why' and 'XXX')
The W word: that it's
banned is half lie:
it's both outlawed and urged --
do (or don't) question "why...?"
The X word's avoided
when dupl'd and tripl'd
in ratings of films --
those well penis'd and nippl'd.
'Yoni' and 'zoff'
The Y word...? In Sanskrit,
it's eas'ly avoided:
Max Wertheimer didn't,
but Maslow and Freud did.
Comes, lastly, the Z word;
suppressed! (Although utter'd
by me,* who well knows
on which side bosh bread's buttered).
* That's why the Z word gets
mentioned a dozen times in the
nonsense verse parody "Let's Call
the Whole Thing 'Zoff'!" which
can be seen elsewhere on this blog.
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