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Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Even Odder Couples (Unpub)

Ara and Demarco book a 
bedsit B&B:
     "…just digs for 
research and development," dis-
closes Ar ‘n’ Dee.
 
Beauregard and Arabelle, tran-
scend this loveless era,
     and suc-
cumb to Cupid's darts ‘n’ shafts, be-
coming Beau ‘n’ Ara.
 
     Cal-
lista and her Derwood were in-
vitees. (We say 'were
     because both
fail’d to show -- or did we fail to 
check our Cal ‘n’ Der…?)
 
Deborah and Aaron, one so-
phisticated pair,
     are known by
other debonaire young things as 
"raw-ther...Deb ‘n’ Aar."
 
Ebenezer flips for Florence. 
Fickle Florence, though,
     runs hot and
cold. Such indecisive lovers! 
Call 'em 'Eb ‘n’ Flo.'
 
Frieda pulls, with Ethan Zane, some 
stunts which leave us queasy.
     They’re so
breezy – “c'est la vie”zy. Oh, so 
free be Frie ‘n’ E.Z.!
 
     Grin-
elda and Barretto keep a 
bird. Repeats this parrot,
     "I'll de-
file thy domicile." (Just grin 'n' 
bear it, Grin ‘n’ Barrett'!)
 
Hamnet, a polygamist, weds 
twice. (Both brides prove nags.
    And, oddly,
both were christen'd 'Agatha.') Meet 
(don't eat!): Ham ‘n’ Ags.
 
Wendell's pledg’d, "I'd bed Iphige-
nia." Ah, but then, 
     Iph vows, "That's
only if ‘n’ when we've said 'I 
do!'...as Iph ‘n’ Wen."
 
Justin and Tymothea were 
decades past their prime.
     The knot they
tied. Then up 'n' died. (The two be-
came one: Just ‘n’ Tyme.)
 
Kahtia weds Pickering, but 
soft...our plot grows thicker.
     'Tain’t no
joke! A baby bloke is born -- a 
little Kaht' ‘n’ Picker.'
 
     To
Lemuel and Adrienne, two 
drys, our toast is made.
     "Charge your
flutes, good friends, with lemonade. All 
fill’d...? To Lem ‘n’ Ade!"
 
Morris and Ramona: how their 
ardors overflow!
     "I love you,
Mo!" "I love you, 'Mo'!" (Love mo' 'n' 
mo' do Mo ‘n’ 'Mo'.)
 
Nehemiah and Tonette their 
calisthenics know:
     "Hey, Neh'! Hey,
To'e! Please do that one call’d 'Head 'n' 
shoulder, knee 'n' toe'!"
 
Booker idolizes Oprah...
sinker, line 'n' hook!
     We trust Ms.
Oprah feels the same. They read just 
like an Ope ‘n’ Book.
 
Phillip and d'Blanca's hope to 
win the sweepstakes sank
     because that
pair, Phil ‘n’ d'Blanc', forgot to -- 
first! -- "fill in de blank!"
 
Qisma and Telemachus: their 
book is selling well.
     Its title...?
"Life Among the Gays: a kiss 'n' 
tell by Qis ‘n’ Tel."
 
     'Tis
Rodney versus Helen: neither 
wishes t'other well. 
     Say Rod and
Helen (as do Hel and Rod): "Your 
ass can rot in hell!"
 
Samuel and Rose, raw fish a-
ficionados, know;
     one serves wa-
sabi with one's salmon roe. "Ban-
zai!" shout Sam ‘n’ Ro.
 
     I question’d
Ahmet Ree and Trigve: "What be 
'2ab cos C'...?"
     "Why, that's just
simple trigonometry," said 
Trig ‘n’ Ahmet Ree!
 
"Upton and his Atamantha," 
notes our latest datum, 
     "both have
chosen to keep dozin.'" Up 'n' 
at 'em, Up' ‘n’ Atam'!
 
Vergil and his Bertha, in dis-
cussing virgin birth,
      have now be-
come conception experts and are 
known as Virg ‘n’ Berth.
 
Watson questions Helen “Wazzup, 
Helen…? What in hell...?”
     Which leads the
people overhearing ‘em to 
call ‘em Wat ‘n’ Hel.
 
Grace’s love for Xavier proves 
such a saving grace.
     You’re all in-
vited to the wedding…compli-
ments of Xav' ‘n’ Grace.
 
Yasser and Ms. Deedee, yokels, 
holler “Yass, indeed!"  
     Or, as their
matching tattoos broadcast to the 
county: “Yas’ ‘n’ Deed.’’”
 
     The-
resa said to Zedediah, 
"I wouldst have 'em bury
     us as
one: "Here lies the ver-r-r-ry seden-
tary Zed' ‘n’ Terri."

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