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Thursday, February 16, 2023

An Index of Babel Filed on Thirty Six 3" x 5" (7.62 x 12.7 Centimeter) Cards

     AGE
Brassbound barkeeps won't vend to a minor, 
using young 'uns' IDs as their gauge.
Spurn'd, some turn'd-away teens turn moonshiner. 
(Adolescents get filed under 'AGE.')

     ARMS 
Axillae, in females and males, 
confer benefits rather than harms.
Despite legends, myths, fables and tales, 
aren't axillae found filed under 'ARMS'...?

     BELLY 
Dead End, Nightmare Alley, The Killing...
How I love watching Noir on the telly!
Femme fatales, anti-heroes: all thrilling...
and all filed, in the dark, under 'BELLY.'

     BJERG 
Emil* makes prints (linos...not mezzotints)
in a yet undisclosed Denmark burg.
Of the home of this prince I've discover'd no hints,
though the man himself's filed under 'BJERG.'
     * Danish linocut artist Emil Underbjerg

     CLASS  
Baldwin was first count of Flanders. 
Tammy's that lesbian lass.
Alec's the ace of right-handers. 
James...? Filed by whites under 'CLASS.'

     COVER 
Margaretha MacLeod -- Mata Hari -- 
was both Captain Vadim Maslov's lover
and a spy, for which snafu she's sorry. 
Mata Hari gets filed under 'COVER.'

     DOG 
Goliath (of barns a great stormer) 
shared the fates of both Gog and Magog.
You will find him filed under 'PERFORMER.' 
(His foe David is filed under 'DOG.')

     DONE 
Julia Child a French cookbook compiled,
with which fame (though no fortune) she won.
An ex-classmate smiled, calling Child "really wild."
(Note: Child's never been filed under 'DONE.')
 
     ESTIMATE
Woman Power! Such a slipp'ry thing! 
Its Babel Index filing's bifurcate: 
While woman's filed (unfairly) under 'LING,' 
her power's never under 'ESTIMATE.'

     EXPOSED 
Though Anthony Wiener showed dreadful demeanor
in sexting, the cove's case is closed.
Next time, unless Wiener makes use of a screener,
he'll not be filed under 'EXPOSED.'

     FED  
Kim's premature-middle-age spread, 
from which fleet North Koreans have fled,
leaves large swaths of the populace dead. 
Filed are most of that host under 'FED.'

     FIRE  
Vlady's assault on Volody (Vlad's fault) 
plops the pair in predicaments dire.
Since Zelenskyy is not Putin's toady (what rot!), 
poor Ukraine is now filed under 'FIRE.'
 
     GONE 
It passes (the year). But that ass is still here.
Share the blame, Laura, Tucker and Sean!
I'll cry "Bravo!" and cheer once those three disappear,
and once Babel files Drumpf under 'GONE.'

     GROUND 
Abolitionist Harriet Tubman was she, 
many Afro-historians found,
who, as porter/conductor, "train'd" slaves to be free. 
(Tubman's railroad's found filed under 'GROUND.')

     HANDED 
Though taking a bow after shaking with Mao, 
Mr. Nixon "a crook" had been branded.
That paranoid whiner and Malcolm maligner 
Dick Nixon's found filed under 'HANDED.'
 
     INDICTMENT  
Drumpf understood what the Right meant 
by their beefs, "We want chiefs with excitement,"
so join'd hacks in foul acts of incitement. 
Mr. Drumpf's now filed under 'INDICTMENT.'

     JI 
Injured one's symptoms...? Abundant they be: 
there's bleeding 'n' swelling 'n' pain, to name three.
Injured through voodoo...? Far be it from me! 
Injured as anagram...? Filed under 'JI.'

     KILL  
Not near enough tanks to prevail in Ukraine. 
Not near enough troops with not near enough will.
V. O. Zelenskyy is Vladimir's bane, 
while Vlady himself is found filed under 'KILL.'
     
     LING 
A verse discussing a filing under 'LING' 
appears above in a verse discussing a 
filing under 'ESTIMATE.'

     MINED 
Them Proud Boys refuse to be mollified. 
Is the Justice Department so blind...?
Insurrectionists...? Filed under 'QUALIFIED.' 
(Our democracy's filed under 'MINED.')

     NOURISHED 
'Sbeen awhile since the island of Haiti 
was on top and its populace flourish'd.
But then Nature (and Fate) proved too weighty. 
Now most Haitians are filed under 'NOURISHED.'

     OVER 
'Tis consider'd at Babel a blunder 
to file Bill Hollman's strip "Smokey Stover"
based on betting book odds 'over-under.' 
It persists, therefore, filed under 'OVER.'

     PANTS 
The jockey can channel the horse. 
Cavaliers can be jockeys in France.
The Index of Babel, of course, 
reveals jockeys are filed under 'PANTS.'

     PERFORMER
A verse discussing a filing under 'PERFORMER'
appears above in a verse discussing a filing
under 'DOG.'

     QUALIFIED 
A verse discussing a filing under 'QUALIFIED' 
appears above in a verse discussing a filing 
under 'MINED.'

     RATED 
Tesler invented the "cut/copy-paste."
Salieri twin musical maestros created.
Petrov refused to turn tables in haste.*
Surely these three must be filed under 'RATED.'
     * Larry, Antonio and Petrov: Google 'em!
   
     SHAFT 
The dad's bâtesseur de munition; 
manufacturing arms is his craft.
The daughter serves soup at a mission. 
The pair are found filed under 'SHAFT.'
     * Andrew and Barbara Undershaft from 
        Shaw's Major Barbara.

     STOOD
Drumpf is a crimin'lly negligent hood,
a sociopath always up to no good,
and a serious flight risk. (If only Drumpf would!)
The fun facts above...? To be filed under 'STOOD.'
 
     TAKERS 
Morticians find stiffs most enchanting.
Here's a list of embalm'd-body makers: 
Jolie, Lynch, White, DeVito and Banting.*
(All morticians are filed under 'TAKERS.')  
     * https://blog.funeralone.com/grow-your-
business/funeral-marketing/5-famous-people-
who-got-their-start-in-the-funeral-profession...

     UTILIZED 
Earth's supersleuth...? Hercule Poirot,
he whose little grey cells work as advertised.
I'm Ulysses. My surname is Poe
and my grey cells are filed under 'UTILIZED.'

     VAXED
Drumpf's devotees (let's call 'em MAGAts)
badmouth libs and are loath to be tax'd. 
They, as well, despise gays -- dub 'em faggots. 
Unlike Drumpf, they're found filed under 'VAXED.'

     WATER 
U-boats propel through the sea 
with the grace and dispatch of an otter.
Nautilus image there'll be 
next to U-boat -- both filed under 'WATER.'

     WHIRL'D 
When Muhammad Abdullahi Hassan's dervish skirts unfurl'd,
his dance, enhanced in pantsless trance, unhinged his stitches purl'd.
His ecstasy seem'd plain to see as round and round he twirl'd.
Librarians at Babel chose to file him under WORLD.
 
     X 
One finds Underx Diapers for elders,
whether male or of female sex,
worn by butchers and bakers and welders --
and most fittingly filed under 'X.'

     YOUR SKIN 
Is Cole, then, a first name or last...?
One hardly knows where to begin.
Perhaps with this blast from the past:
Cole Porter's filed under 'YOUR SKIN.'

     ZO 
Oumpah-pah and Astérix
he co-created years ago.
Filed under 'CURRENT'...? Fiddlesticks! 
Al's filed 'neath 'Albert UderZO.'

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