The Taj Mahalmond
Which celebrated sepulcher
might please the legume connoisseur
your mum's become...? Just muster Mom und
your mum's become...? Just muster Mom und
tote 'er to the Taj Mahalmond!
Machu Peaches
Who sports a Jones
for fruits, with stones,
from far-flung distant reaches
no worse can do
than tour Peru:
Pick Incan Machu Peaches!
Grapesland
(Must be sung to the tune of
Chuck Berry's "Memphis, Tennessee,"
ideally accompanied by Johnny
Rivers's '57 Stratocaster.)
Help me, InfoMaven, to en-
roll each Pinot gris...
ideally accompanied by Johnny
Rivers's '57 Stratocaster.)
Help me, InfoMaven, to en-
roll each Pinot gris...
each Shiraz, Merlot, each noir Pinot --
plus each Verdot (Petit)...!
'Cuz, when I'm through, we'll (me 'n' you)
enjoy a vintage spree...
through El "Vin" Aros'* Grapesland,
down in Memphis, Tennessee.
* A Spoonerism for "Elvis Aron"'s.
The Lingon Memorial
Last seen, years past,
in The North Hjo Pictorial:
red, round, respected...and so-o-o-o gastronorial.
Yipe! Now he's ripe. Let's all
pipe verse sensorial:
♪ "Two for dessert at the
Lingon Memorial." ♫
Yipe! Now he's ripe. Let's all
pipe verse sensorial:
♪ "Two for dessert at the
Lingon Memorial." ♫
The Sydney Hop'ra House
Who’s daft for draft
and Johann Strauss
(composer of
Die Fledermaus)
must make a point to,
with his spouse,
drop by
the Sydney Hop'ra House.
Maiza Verde
Who'd yearn fer corn
must earn her corn,
nor turn forlorn
'n' scaredy.
If spook'd by heights,
tour sunken sites:
steer clear
of Maiza Verde!
Magnolia Plantaintion
I confess to cessation
of holidays Haitian,
of furloughs Croatian,
sabbaticals Thracian.
Ba-na-na-
of furloughs Croatian,
sabbaticals Thracian.
Ba-na-na-
na-nation...? Nah!
Now no vacationin'...
'ceptin' in Charleston's
Magnolia Plantaintion.
Magnolia Plantaintion.
The Eiffel Taro
I got son'thin' ta say, mio caro,
tho' methinks this verse stinks -- like stale gar roe...
and this rhyme can't vamp time 'til tomorrow.
List' away, lest your day end in sorrow!
Who knows nil climbs a Kilimanjaro.
and this rhyme can't vamp time 'til tomorrow.
List' away, lest your day end in sorrow!
Who knows nil climbs a Kilimanjaro.
Don't tempt fate! Best to wait in the far row.
Why'd shy guys have you rise up so far...? Oh,
cry not "Why not...?"! Sigh "Bye, Eiffel Taro."
cry not "Why not...?"! Sigh "Bye, Eiffel Taro."
The Pearamids at Giza
Scorchees searchin' sere Saharas
for desserts design'd to please a-
ficionados of the phara'hs
plump for Pearamids at Giza.
Sacré-Cœurgettes
Forget about Iceberg 'n'
Cranberry Beans;
skip Endive, Romaine 'n'
Arugula Lett-
uce, Radicchio, Kale 'n' Chry-
santhemum Greens:
try visitin' Montmartre's
Sacré-Cœurgettes!
try visitin' Montmartre's
Sacré-Cœurgettes!
The Drumpf Wheat House
Comes word you've ne'er heard
of the house built of wheat.
Pols and pundits who have
even call it The Wheat House.
Its tenant's a liar,
Its tenant's a liar,
a psycho, a cheat,
a molester of women --
in short, a complete louse.
He herds his "good words"
He herds his "good words"
into long-winded tweet-
storms he Twitters most morns
storms he Twitters most morns
from the bowels of The Wheat House.
Thrice wedded, he's pull'd
Thrice wedded, he's pull'd
an espousal "threepeat,"
though each bride Blondel beds
though each bride Blondel beds
proves but one more effete spouse.
Yet sleepers awake!
Yet sleepers awake!
Patr'ots take to the street
to protest this tycoon -- nay: ty-
to protest this tycoon -- nay: ty-
rant -- of The Wheat House.
Him (guilty as sin) they'll soon
rightly unseat --
less a man [plus his kin!]
less a man [plus his kin!]
than a now-obsolete mouse.
Let's do it!
(A Weatherman's victory sweet.)
Ah-h-h-h...but how...? Must we now
Ah-h-h-h...but how...? Must we now
this wimp's fam'ly with
"sheet" dowse...?
Or hang the whole gang --
"sheet" dowse...?
Or hang the whole gang --
cronies, kids -- by their feet...
and display 'em across
and display 'em across
the South Lawn of the Wheat House...?
