POTUS Pillories the Press Corps

    Dedicated to those members 
of the press corps who aren't here 
but should be...and soon shall.
    
"CNNer Kaitlan Collins
was, I'm told, a date of Stalin's.
ABC News Jon'than Karl...?
'That's not true,' Karl's prone to snarl."
     "Petty Shannon Pettypiece:

We'd better phone the truth police.

AP’s Jonathan Lemire…?

Oh, by the way, he's odd. And queer."

"News Hour biche Yamiche Alcindor:

Newsday ought to’ve Anne Boleyn’d ‘er.

Bloomberg News’s Justin Sink…?

The dext’rous Duke of Doublethink."

     "The Times’s Maggie Haberman.

A plu-unpleasant neighbor, man!

NPR gal Tam’ra Keith…?

Obtuse up top, zip underneath."

"The New York Times’s Peter Baker.

Hold the muck: ol’ Pete'll rake 'er.

CBS’s Paula Reid…?

I think I, with her, did the deed."

     "Bezos boyo Philip Rucker.

Like his boss, another sucker.

Fake News WaPo’s Ashley Parker…?

Brother Bezos' side show barker."

"New York Times’s Michael Shear.

The failing pub’s fail'd pamphleteer.

A U R N’s April Ryan:

Lyin’ Brian Williams’ scion."

     "The New York Times’s Annie Karni.

Who knew Jews to broadcast blarney…?

Reuters Jimmy Oliphant:

Can or can't he cut the cant…?"

"Peter, Peter Alexander!

Soon I’ll sue his ass for slander.

Ms. O’Donnell (christen’d Kelly)…?

Too true blue for prime-time telly."

     "Fox News Radio’s Jon Decker.

One pontificating pecker.

Fox News Channel’s Kevin Cork.

Part-time putz and full-time dork."

     "Roberts, John. Acosta, Jim.

I cannot stomach eith’rof him.

Welker, Kristen. Jackson, Hallie.

Much preferr’d…? A campaign rally."

     "CBS’s Major Garrett.

Ignoramus -- 14-caret.

Press corps! Please leave me alone!

And where’s my freakin’ Roy M. Cohn…?"