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Thursday, July 27, 2023

The Changing's Hard At Buckingham Palace: the Dark Days & Darker Nights of Charles III

     i. 
A grave new world view greets the former 
Prince of Wales today.
For example, here's the king short hours ago:
"Unaccustom'd as I am to be king," 
Charles is heard to say --
whereupon he clicks his heels and stubs his toe.

     ii. 
Another day, it's speeches: Charles is 
handed an array --
vellum, Lorum ipsum filling ev'ry page.
"Unaccustom'd as I am to greeking," 
Charles is heard to say --
whereon he stubs his toe while exiting the stage.

     iii. 
December 25th, the king's most 
num'ro uno day.
(He has written Father Christmas for a pen.)
"Unaccustom'd as I am to peeking," 
Charles is heard to say,
I see failure to deliver yet again."

     iv. 
"The Palace boasts too many pillows 
cased in gold lamé,
sconces, paintings, clocks...but wait! I've an idea!
Unaccustom'd as I am t'antiquing," 
Charles is heard to say,
"let' us host an auction, then head to IKEA."

     v. 
Wembley! EFL Cup Final! 
Footie's finest day! 
And it's Chelsea versus Manchester United!
"Unaccustom'd as I am to streaking," 
Charles is heard to say,
"run with me; I guarantee you will be knighted."

     vi. 
"Those puddles in the throne room: mine...? Whose 
stains 'neath the bidet...?
And who can tell what puddling portends...?
Unaccustom'd as I am to leaking," 
Charles is heard to say,
"I have ruled the Palace purchase more Depends."

     vii. 
A grave new world view's led the former 
Prince of Wales astray.
Owns up Charles, "I figur'd being King'd be fun.
Unaccustom'd as I am to freaking," 
Charles goes on to say --
whereon a hand is seen unholstering a gun.

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