Wednesday Wave Protest Sign 10.29.25

 

Tom Eliot's Year

January's rulest month: 

old New Year's resolutions. 
   February...? Foolest month: 

droll sonnet distributions. 

March is the retoolest month, 

a season of renewal. 
   April's, now, the crew'lest month. 

(We've quite enough of cruel.) 

May's the crepusculest month; 

each dusk starts that much later.

   June's last-day-of-schoolest month. 

Sing "Later, alligator!" 

July's the dunking-stoolest month;

with ice, much more surprising. 

   August is the fuelest month. 

The price of gas keeps rising. 

September is the droolest month: 

the birthrate's up. (Don't ask.)

   October is the ghoulest month. 

You'd don a Donald mask...?

November is the coolest month. 

Eats...? Pumpkin pies. Drinks...?  Nogs.

   December is the yulest month:

King Wenceslaus thinks, "Logs!"

Dithyrambs in D with Denouement on Drumpf of Down D'ere: Homage a Mildred Plew Meigs Brought to You by the Letter D

     Dithyrambs in D

     Here de-

buts (Doh!) Der DOTUS,*

Don Drumpf of Down D'ere,
     of whose 

op'randi modus 
Dems duly forswear.
     Yet one

dares not dismiss  

the despicable hair 
     of the 

dastardly Drumpf of Down 

D'ere. 

          * Destroyer Of The United States

     Dans Drumpf's 

soul (what remains of it's 

black as the night)

     Drumpf en-

lists the fascisti 
who haunt the far right
     as Drumpf 

rants about hand size,  

red ties, weight and height (!) --

     does the 

dim-witted Drumpf of Down 

D'here. 

     During 

Drumpf's premier term 

Drumpf perversions rehears'd. 

     Now Drumpf 

daily distributes 

Drumpf's worst o' the worst. 

     (But what 

motivates Drumpf's 

duodenum to burst...? 

     Double 

cheeseburgers -- dozens! -- down 

dere.)

     Don Drumpf 

claims "the best words" 

though deployin' 'em not. 

     Don Drumpf 

grabs women's p*****s.* 

(Drumpf's earlobe got shot.) 

     Don Drumpf 

lusts after even his daughter -- 

a lot! -- 

     does the 

derelict Drumpf of Down 

D'ere.

          *Puritans read 'privates.' 

     Don Drumpf 

takes to Our House 

his demolishing bat

     as Drumpf 

makes of the U.S. 

persona non grat'...

     ...yet Don 

dons his "Make-Ev'rything-

Great-Again" hat --

     does De-

stroyer Don Drumpf of Down 

D'ere. 

     Denouement 

     But of 

late, concerns great 

Drumpf's deciding to share -- 

     in faint 

hopes of ascending 

God's heavenly stair.*

     Still, Drumpf's 

duly -- though Drumpf will 

construe it "unfair" --

     doom'd to 

dwell, 'til dawns Doomsday, down 

d'ere."**

     *Drumpf imagines, of course, 

a heavenly escalator.* 

     **Hell aka The Inferno (and 

considering the present context, 

doubtless Dante's. Drumpf's 

character qualifies him for 

damnation to every ring.)

Thirds Off Six Views Of South Fiji: a Distressed Sketchbook

Protest Sign for 10.22.25

 

POTUS's MAGAnificient Appointees Weigh In on the Correct Designation for Drumpf's Shit Bombs

     Steven 

Miller calls it 'excrement.' Steve 

Bannon calls it 'feces.' And to 

Rubio, it's 'El Popo' (a 

Cuban caca species.) 

     Speaker

Johnson calls it 'night soil,' while Pete 

Hegseth says 'manure.' J.D. 

Vance has call'd it 'coprolite.' Pam 

Bondi's still unsure. 

     Sam A-

lito calls it 'dirt' or 'dung.' John 

Roberts calls it 'stool.' Justice 

Clarence Thomas calls it 'kaka-

poopie.' (Such a tool!)

     Justice 

Amy Coney Barrett calls it

'waste' or 'poop' or 'flit.' Lindsey 

Graham calls it 'slops,' which is a 

fancy word for shit. 

 

    Tulsi 

Gabbard calls it 'midden,'  while Russ

Vought refers to 'spoor.' Ms Mc-

Mahon calls it 'guano,' tho' I 

cannot tell what for. 

     RF-

K just calls it 'doo-doo.' (Bobby's 

that there sorta guy.) And Kristi 

Noem...? She calls it 'loam.' Not even 

she can tell you why. 

     Sean 

Hannity refers to 'mist' -- the 

Nazis did so, too. Meanwhile the 

rest of 'em just call it 'scat.' (That's 

what we wish THEY'D do.) 

     Coda 

     Lastly,

Eric the Dim, his voice 

hoarse, adds 'le merde.' 

     "Disre-

gard! It's just him..." As, of 

course, no one cared. 

POTUS Poops (Though Surges No Troops)

      One 
fact on which the G.O.P. 
      and 
Democrats can both agree: 
     Drumpf 
dropping -- watch the video! -- 
     ma-

nure on New York City. Oh, 

      it's 

Drumpf alright -- "King Drumpf" notes  he,
     re-
posting it himself with glee.
     Says 
Vance, "It's funny. What's the fuss...?" 
     (Who 
hates America...? Not us.)

Sign for Saturday 10.18.25

 

Damp Hen Nonsense Apothems & Daffy Digressions

Some hens are born damp, some hens achieve dampness and some hens have dampness thrust upon them. 

A damp hen by any other name would smell as ripe. 

There is a tide in the affairs of hens when taken at the flood leaves them thoroughly damp. 

A hen in the hand is worth two in a puddle.  

No hen is a (Rhode) Island.

'Twas the night before last.

Throughout bathrooms and dens

not a hen was demurring -- 

not even damp hens. 

Song for "No Kings" Saturday

No lyin'-with-AIin' kings. 

 

No voting-rights-denyin' kings. 

No "Ban-abortion!"-cryin' kings. 

No "Fix-it...?-Only-I..."in' kings.

No "Roy-Cohn-where-be-my...?"in' kings. 

We want no "...grab-'em-by..."in' kings. 

No "bf's...?-Kim-'n'-I"in' kings. 

We want no obese-thighin' kings. 

No "Torture...?-I'm-not-shy"in' kings. 

No bags-o'-Bitcoin-buyin' kings. 

No "Eric-can't-be-my..."in' kings. 

No earlobe's-on-the-li-...in' kings. 

No "...six-six,-one-nine-ni-..."in' kings. 

We want no "...and-stand-by!"in' kings. 

No gut-our-FBIin' kings.  

No "Mike-Pence...?-Hang-'im-high"in' kings.

No "Me-Myself-'n'-I"in' kings. 

No "Tell-Vlad-I-said-'hi'"in' kings. 

No "I-get-extra-pie"in' kings. 

No "Let-go-my-McFry!"in' kings. 

No steal-stuff-on-the-slyin' kings.

No "into-emails-pry"in' kings. 

No never-answers-'why...?'in' kings. 

No "End-of-Days-be-nigh"in' kings. 

No blame-the-other-guyin' kings.

We want no Greenland-buyin' kings. 

No Mayan or Hawaiian kings. 

We want no young-girls-eyein' kings. 
No Qatar-bribe-jet-flyin' kings. 

We want no vote-denyin' kings. 
No "I've-the-best-words"-cryin' kings. 

We want no faux-Versaillesin' kings.

No junk-food-amplifyin' kings. 

No neo-Captain-Blighin' kings.

No Vladimir-allyin' kings. 

No Bibi-arms-supplyin' kings. 

(We're not averse to dyin' kings.) 

We want no alibiin' kings.

No don't-apologi-...in' kings.

No "Nobel-must-be-my"in' kings. 

No "What-could-go-awry...?"in' kings. 

No research-falsifyin' kings. 

No on-opponents-spyin' kings.

No ersatz-hair-piece-dyein' kings... 
...and, fin'lly, no damn lyin' kings. 

     Coda 

     Say 

"Nay!" to stooges kissin' rings, 

     then 

pray: "More Martin Luther Kings." 

Name The Composers; or, Who ARE These People...?

     The Song 

You and the Night and the Music (Fill Me with Flaming Desire) 

     The Words 

Hugh and Dean Knight / Andy "Moose" Hick

     The Music 

Phil Smee / Whit Vlaye / Meg deZyre

"Ladies First" Revisited; or, Why Always 'Robin and Marion,' Never 'Marion and Robin'...?

Why is it always 'kings and queens'...? 

Why is it always 'hims and hers'...? 

Why is it always 'men and women...?Something's fishy, it occurs. 

Might 'queens and kings' (say) shake up things...? 

Indeed, might 'women'-leading-'men' 

WORD order cue a new WORLD order...? 

It ain't "might," of course, but "when." 

(Too soon, 'Minnie and Mickey': 

that wicket's still  sticky! 

But 'Donald and Daisy' 

keeps makin' me crazy.)

Punchline "Evenings -- Sam and Janet"...? 

Rabid feminists all pan it 

and would dearly love to can it. 

(Sources say they plan to ban it.) 

"Will and Grace...? Not "Grace and Will"...? 

(Some folks watch'd "Greg and Dharma." Still... )

With his "Daphnis and Chloe," Ravel, 

and the Ballets Russes also, was smitten. 

Things would not have gone nearly as well 

were it "Chloe and Daphnis" he'd written. 

All know Yusuf and Potiphar's wife, 

call'd Zulaikha -- sound sources are rife.

(He who sniggers "Zulaikha and Yusuf" 

his cojones just might lose the use of.)

'George and Martha' (i.e., 'Dad and Mum') 

reign our nation's Ur-parents, by gum! 

Should we list 'em as 'Martha and George' 

as a more-perfect nation we forge...?

'Bart and Lisa's the usual order, so, far be it from me to suggest 

that (say) 'Lisa and Bart' might yield pref'rable art. 

(I can hear you now: "Give it a rest!")

Although 'Darby and Joan''s been the norm, 

it's caus'd many a women's-lib storm. 

I feel sure 'Joan and Darby' would solve 

most such storms. So: prepare to revolve!

'Steve and Edie'...? Not 'Edie and Steve'...? 

I am finding that hard to believe. 

Without change, big steps rearward we'll take, 

back to Adam and Eve...and that snake. 

"Mork and Mindy" grabb'd views on TV: 

Sixty million! (That sounds like a load.) 

If 'twere "Mindy and Mork," would they've all reach'd a fork 

in the march-t'ward-equality road...? 

Does the 'Romeo...Juliet' chain 

cause a modern-day feminist pain...? 

Were the names switch'd about, would that feminist shout...?

(Also, what gives with 'Tarzan and Jane'...?)

G.B. Shaw's "Cleopatra and Caesar"...? 

One dare sneak nothing past that ol' geezer. 

If her highness Shaw'd known, he might  throw her a bone. 

Or Shaw might place her last -- just to tease 'er.

It's all "Hansel and Gretel" to Grimm. 

Women's Lib...? It means diddley to him. 

Grimm fears "Gretel and Hansel"'d cause readers to cancel 

their orders for fresh tales he'd limn. 

Roy and Dale's "Happy trails to you" just...

might by Dale and Roy better be sung. 

Once Dale's voice takes the lead, Roy'll eventually heed 

our critique: "Roy, your voice sounds like dung."

TV's Golden Age air'd Burns and Allen. 

If the tube had air'd Allen and Burns, 

"Say goodnight, Gracie" wouldn't get laughs; nor it shouldn't. 

('Course, that ain't the way the world turns.)

  

Behold!  'Boris,' back'd up by 'Natasha.' 

If 'Natasha got follow'd by 'Boris,' 

would such  

order bring peace...? Would misogyny cease...? 

Would most men suffer ongoing tsoris...?

Hands, please: who recalls Sonny and Cher...? 

I bet none can recall Cher and Sonny. 

Don't cry, "Such was the time: diff'rent age; diff'rent clime: 

we call'd women 'girls'...waitresses 'honey.'"

Although lots applaud 'Nichols and May,'

I by all means prefer 'May and Nichols.'

Yet, no matter the ranking, their act won't end tanking: 

the stuff they came up with still tickles.

The Bible reads "Samson...Delilah." 

If "Delilah" appear'd before "Samson," 

would the big guy ignore that duplicitous whore... 

and Shem's wife, Japheth's daughter and Ham's son...?

As young children we read 'Dick and Jane.'

If instead we had read 'Jane and Dick,'

would the L-G-Bi crowd long ago've been allow'd 

to their birth sexuality pick...?

"The Thin Man" presents Nick and Nora. 

If that film featured Nora and Nick, 

would the casting couch cast a chihuahua call'd Hasta,

thus spoiling this classical flick...?

Tell me: Why always 'Adam and Eve'...? 

How's about, just for once, 'Eve and Adam'...? 

Would such switcheroo, do you believe, 

not exuberate She Who begat 'em...? 

Further, why hear we always 'Babe Ruth'...? 

Seldom mention'd -- alas! -- is Ruth Babe.

She'd have sent homers flyin,' caus'd  fans (am I lyin'...?),

like Jabberwock's raths, to outgrabe. 

Also, why always 'Ozzie and Harriet,'

never 'Harriet' followed by 'Oz'...?

Would transposing pair'd names tend to bum dudes and dames, 

dooming both to a bout of the blahs...? 

Fin'lly, why must it be 'Ralph and Alice'...? 

Might we never hear 'Alice and Ralph'...? 

The latter's preferr'd, while the former -- my word! -- 

remains too chauvinistic...by halph! 

Mother Goose sings of Jack and his Jill. 

Mother: choose a new tack! Jill and Jack 

could still tackle their hill and if water 

they'd spill, 

they'd just refill those buckets they pack.)

Frank Loesser composed "Guys and Dolls." 

Had Frank penn'd "Gals and Men," "Dolls and Guys," 

"Dames and Dudes," "Jills and Jacks" would he've suffer'd attacks 

from some femm'ophobe hacks in disguise...? 

I liked Ike. (I liked Mamie as well.)

I like 'Mamie and Ike' even better. 

If you'd force HER to choose the best order to use, 

she'd say

"Last one" -- although I've not met 'er.

 

You say 'Abelard' follow'd by 'Eloise,'

 not the other way 'round. But do you...

...say, as well, 'Desdemona... Othello...? She's

earn'd promotion from spot #2.

It was not call'd "When Sally Met Harry," 

tho' such seems the more obvious choice. 

Still, why'd Reiner not choose it...? How dare he...

...not give Meg -- and the ERA -- voice. 

'Butterbeans and Susie'...? 'Pyramas and Thisbe'...?

('Archy and Mehitabel': how hard to rhyme might THIS be...?)

'Ferdinand and Isabella'...? Heathcliff and his Cathy... 

...but here I pause. How come...? Because 

this grows too psychopathy. 

Birthday

 

Distichs: A Nonsense Alphabet of Unpublished Pairs of Couplets -- Some Rhymed -- Excerpted from Imaginary Poetry

Prelude 

Stichs aren't stones; 

they break no bones. 

Their words, though, may divert you

Acrostichs from "Ante Up!" by Bunk & Tosh

Both you and Auntie PetticoaT, 

Uncle EnriquillO, 

   Need on the double (take a guesS) 

Kick in a bit more REAL dougH. 

Broomstichs from "Dust" by Thom Swiffer 

Tweedle the Sweep, who scrubs smokestacks in Bantry, 

would waltz with his broom 'round my grandmother's pantry. 

   He'd char neighbors' chimneys, enduring their dirt. He 

abided alone. (Tweedle died shy of thirty.) 

Chopstichs from "In a Chinese Workhouse" by Colum May 

Toothpicks, Sino-sages say, 

as whopping chopsticks start their day. 

   But woodworks' loppers, led  astray,  

all parts superfluo'us shave away. 

Dipstichs from "Moyshe Mans the Motor Pool" by Yehuda Teer 

Your crankcase craves a log* of motor oil. 

Flush fluids so your AC won't o'erboil. 

   A hin* or two should lubricate your brakes. 

(A hemi-hin is, maybe, all it takes.) 

   *Logs and hins are Yiddish liquid measures. 

Elastichs from "Stretch!" by Speed O'Banlon 

As ev'ning stretches out against the sky, 

a limo looms, the length of sev'ral Fords. 

   Its chauffeur snaps her bubblegum, while I 

unload my months' supply of bungee cords. 

Fiddlestichs from "Ecphonesis" by E. "Jack" Hoffman 

O

Grandma whispers "Pish!" 

Grandpa gripes "Begorrah!" 

    The aunties add "I wish!" 

while I reply, "The Horrah!" 

Gnostichs from "Godspell 2 1/3" by Jesus of Kalamazoo 

There's Thomasines, Mandaeans, Carpocratians, Simonians, 

Corinthians, Cleobians, Perates and Cerdonians: 

   "There's some things WE know," all insist, "that YOU maroons DON'T  know." 

They then set out delivering a tiresome blow-by-blow. 

Hockeystichs from "On noThin Ice" by Frank 'Li'l Black'  Zamboni as told to Gosta Ryder 

I'll flout the Fates and don used skates 

to brave the dicey ice. 

   But once I do, I pledge to you 

I'll never do so twice. 

Impressionistichs from "Uly's Piano Recital" by Ulysses Poe

My piece debuts with Debussy.

What follows...? M. Ravel, 

   three measures miming E. Satie, 

and Brahms...with none play'd well. 

Joystichs from "Do You Vant Go Blind...?" by Sigfried Freud

Chimps employ 'em, twistin, 'em about. 

Pigs enjoy 'em -- nudge 'em with their snout. 

   Pilots use 'em navigatin' planes. 

Does Drumpf abuse 'em...? Mary Trump explains. 

Knobstichs from "Solidarity Forever" by Mother Jones 

Billy Bob's a blackleg. I shall never marry him. 

James...? A rat fink and a scab. I won't be wed to Jim.. 

Jack's been spotted lickin' boots. How treach'rous can you get...?

And Dick's just cross'd yon picket line: I'll die a bachelorette.

Lipstichs from "Butterflies, Beestings 'n' Botox...Oh, My!" by Don "Nutella"  Versace

Tony Lip drives Cherry; he's the doctor's new chauffeur. 

Libby vexes Brenda, an antagonist to her. 

   Joey Fagan's horn makes The Commitments much more hip. 

And don't forget Durocher: no one's botherin' the Lip. 

Matchstichs from "Den Lille Pige med Svovlstikkerne" by H. Christian Wright

Start from scratch: Paris Match. Orrin Hatch: Booby Hatch! 

Swing it, Satch! One-hand catch. Briar patch...? Not a scratch. 

   Coffee klatsch: bake a batch. Cumberbatch: top-draw'r...? Natch! 

Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Tell me: have we met our match...? 

Nightstichs from "God o' Dance" by Freda Stare 

Crips 'n ' Bloods 'n' police: what's your hurry...? Do the Fly; forget Arthur Murray!

   Irish Jig...? Don't fret! Not to worry: When you've binged...just...stop!

Orgiastichs from "Absurdist-in-Chief" by Anon 

You socialists are hedonists; you communists are, too. 

You're anarchists, abortionists -- 

I've bullied more than few. 

   You're masochists; You're narcissists. You're pessimists as well. 

You're all those "-ist"s I've doubtless miss'd: 

I'll see you lot in hell. 

Popsiclestichs from "Ice Lolly Palooza" by Arthur Freeze 

Whose dream is of a Popsicle a cult'ral meme enjoys. 

Whose dream is of a Creamsicle all lactose dread destroys. 

   Whose dream is of a Fudgsicle a chocoholic be. 

Whose dream is of a Dreamsicle endures redundancy. 

Queuestichs from "Blackball Boogie" by Montana O'Beece

Rack 'em, Fats, and pass that chalk. 

Then watch me masse, bank 'n' baulk. 

   YOU talk some talk; I walk the walk. 

So, settle back; prepare to gawk. 

Rustichs from "The Gift to be Simpleminded" by Manon Knight 

The farmer takes a wife. 

The wife mistakes the child 

   for a single-bottom'd "sulky" plow 

because that gal's beguiled. 

Ì

Swizzlestichs from "Doin' the Chartreuse Swizzle" by Mick Sahl-O'Gist 

Take one-point-five ounces Chartreuse; 

add some lime juice and pineapple juice. 

   Pour it all in a tall Collins glass.

Add crushed ice...and then swizzle en masse...

Thunderstichs from "Make Good Noise" by Cholly Bickerknocker 

Conf'rence playoffs, Sixers versus Knicks. 

Brunson puts up wa-a-ay too many bricks. 

   I'm sittin' courtside. What's it take to fix 

this situation...? Cue them  thundersticks![

Uglistichs from "The New Newfie's Guide" by Acoutsina Smithe-Jones

I heard a band in Newfoundland like none I'd ever known: 

bandoneon, two fiddles -- and the oddest id'ophone: 

   some Frenchmen call it "Chinese hat," some British "jingling Jenny." 

Search wide 'n' far: the chances are 

you'll frug to few...if any.

Voyeuristichs from "I Spy!" by Thomas Pepys 

No matter what you do, 

I'm always watching you. 

   Of course, I'm not a dope: 

I use my telescope. 

Walkingstichs from "On the Wild Side" by Ted Behr

Howe'er you walk, walk sof'ly. 

Always arm yourself with sticks.

   'Cuz it's jungly out there -- awf'lly! --and that jungle's full of ______.* 

   *DIY: ticks, hicks, dicks, spicks, pricks... 

Xanthistichs from "Yoke Book" by Al  Beumann

There's antique fuchsia, android green. 

There's mocha and Morello. 

   Still, look around! Gold hues abound. 

Beyond the sun, what's yellow...?

Yardstichs from "Bob the Bobby" by Robert Burns 

I'm Sgt. Bludgeon, Scotland Yard. 

You see this big baton...? En garde! 

   I've got this stunning taser, too. 

I'd best behave if I were you.

Zapstichs from "Zap Stick" by Senor Sid O'Zenn

You say you don't get outside much...? 

Perhaps you need a cane, a crutch...

   ...an aid to help you in a clutch...

a stun gun -- with a stylish touch...?