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Monday, August 2, 2021

The Death of Punctuation at Hands of Tweet (Unpub)

     Have rumors of its death been exaggerated…?

 

Ampersands…? Their fates be varied: 

[ ] dwindling  [ ] dying  [ ] dead & buried.

Apostrophe’s done: illit ratis have won.

The asterisk…? It's dead! (Just like Jack Dorsey *said.)

     * CEO of Twitter

Say a prayer for the bracket. Good lad. [Couldn’t hack it.]

 

The bullet has abused for years its

· .  mentors

· .     minions

   .   bosses

·.    peers

 

The death of the caret…?  Mon frere   cannot bear it.

                                                          ^

Adieu to cedillas: “Leçons pour gorillas.” *

     * Says my bro (whom I love).

       (He’s the bloke from above.)

Retir’d is the colon:

more time to go bowlin’...?

 

As for daggers (single, double)…?

Dead as dormice dipp’d in honey

or some Raphi cucullati --

or the freakin’ Easter Bunny.

     † A delicacy served at ancient Roman banquets     

     ‡ Extinct dodos 

 

Life sans the comma…?

No comma, no drama!

 

Dashes dead -- em and en --?

Just a matter of when.

 

The mark of exclamation’s gone,

eradicated. Let's move on!

 

To the misters who’ll miss

their ellipsis: Boo! Hiss-s-s-ss!

 

The full stop is gone.

It’s hung, quarter’d and drawn.

 

Leave it to the hyphen

to insert its two-edged knife in.

 

Next for parentheses…?

Epitaphs. (RIPs).

 

The pilcrow’s under stress…

But now I must digress…

 

Quotes known as curly

are past their prime, surely!

 

“The ditto,” they said.

         , he dead!”*

     * Like Conrad’s Mr. Kurtz, perhaps.

 

Diaereses…just on leave…?

How can you, Friend, be so naïve…?

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