Introducing Classics for Dummies
for dummies -- 100 four-beat cheat sheets
for the spare-time-challenged.
Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird:
Hey, Boo. How do!
Heller's Catch-22:
Kerouac's On the Road:
Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings:
Nabokov's Lolita:
Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye:
Rushdie's Midnight's Children:
Golding's Lord of the Flies:
Steinbeck's the Grapes of Wrath:
Orwell's 1984:
Bronte's Jane Eyre:
Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway:
Forster's A Passage to India:
Huxley's Brave New World:
Spark's the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie:
Bunyon's The Pilgrim's Progress:
A race for grace.
Lindsay's A Voyage to Arcturus:
Life's bane...? Just pain.
Anon's A Thousand Nights and One Night
Ending pending.
Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles:
Don't fuss: they're us.
Virgil's The Aeneid:
New home...? Try Rome!
Plato's The Republic:
We're slaves in caves.
Mankiewicz's Citizen Kane:
The thread's his sled.
Jones's From here to Eternity:
Prewitt blew it.
Eco's The Name of the Rose:
Who took that book...?
Christie's And Then There Were None:
Niggers...? Figgers!
Herge's Adventures of Tintin:
Her(r Proté)gé (Or, Short reporter)
Anon's Gilgamesh:
I'll die...? Oh, my!
Milne's Winnie the Pooh:
No hon', no fun.
Grahame's The Wind in the Willows:
Toad's cars leave scars.
Aesop's Fables:
Me...? You...? A zoo!
Milton's Paradise Lost:
The Fall 'n' all.
Siddhartha's Tripitaka:
You da Buddha.
The Torah:
He chooses Jews.
He chooses Jews.
The Gospels:
A Jew, though new.
A Jew, though new.
Homer's Iliad:
The horse...? Of course.
The horse...? Of course.
Tolstoy's War and Peace:
One's hell...? Do tell!
One's hell...? Do tell!
Homer's Odyssey:
Don't roam! Head home!
Don't roam! Head home!
Augustine's Confessions:
Saved get...? Not yet.
Anon's Beowulf:
Men fear fen's mere.
Dante's The Inferno:
Satan's waitin.'
Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice:
One pound ground round.
One pound ground round.
Columbus's Diario:
We'd best head west.
Shakespeare's Hamlet:
To be...? Let's see...
To be...? Let's see...
Machiavelli's The Prince:
Id works, you jerks.
Melville's Moby Dick:
Big fish spares Ish.
Big fish spares Ish.
Twain's Huckleberry Finn:
A raft...? They laugh'd.
A raft...? They laugh'd.
Thoreau's Walden:
This wood be good.
Flaubert's Madame Bovary:
Ms. B...? She's me.
Carroll's Alice in Wonderland:
Rabbit...? Grab it!
Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams:
Squish, squish...? I wish.
Proust's In Search of Lost Time:
Could be her tea.
Could be her tea.
Joyce's Ulysses:
Molly's follies.
Molly's follies.
Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby:
More's less, I guess.
More's less, I guess.
Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl
Fascist...? Trash ist.
Achebe's Things Fall Apart:
The fun part's done.
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