"Alpha ain't for 'Al-Farabi'..." What Alpha Ain't For: A Nonsense Greek Alphabet

Alpha ain't for 'Al-Farabi.' 
Beta ain't for 'bait a hook.'
Gamma ain't for 'Gamme' Gurton,' 
her whose needle no man took.
Delta ain't for 'dealt a blow.' 
Epsilon...? It ain't for zip.
Zeta ain't for 'Say ta my José...' 
(Tho' Carmen's sure a pip.)

Eta ain't for 'ate a horse.' 
Theta ain't for 'They ta my
Jothéy...' -- like zeta just above, 
but lisp'd. (And don't you dare ask why.)
Iota...? For 'I owe da mob'...? 
Kappa...? For 'I cap a keg'...?
Lambda...? For 'lamb ta da slaughta'...? 
Nope! (Hey, would I pull your leg...?)

Mu...? Mu ain't for '"Moo" goes Bossy.' 
Nu...? Nu ain't for 'knew da ropes.'
Xi...? Xi ain't for 'Dixie Chicks.' (Those 
sicks who diss'd the Chicks were dopes.)
Omicron I'll set aside. 
Pi...? Pi ain't for 'piece o' poo.'
Rho...? Rho ain't for 'row yer boat.'
What's sigma for...? I've got no clue.

Tau...? Tau ain't for 'Tow'r o' Pisa.' 
Upsilon...? I'm sure it ain't 
for 'Oops! A lawn 'n' garden shop.' 
Phi...? Phi is not for 'Fifi, Saint.'
Chi...? Chi ain't for 'key dat Chrysler.' 
Psi...? Psi ain't for 'upsy-daisy.'
Last, omega: it's for 'grecian
formula'...or am I crazy...?