Standundermissing (11)

Sie whispers, "Mitzva, dear.” 
Er hears: "It’s Mitt's veneer."
When life’s this way, need damen bray
in Herren’s shell-like ear…?
 
Damens' "Grow! Do well!"
Herr’n hear as "Go to hell!"
When aids are out, needs Lady shout
into Lord’s ear-like shell…? 

'Mis-'adventures (11)

Missis- (Mrs. Sissis) -sippi.
Miso soup for you, not me.
Misquote Mr. Syngman Rhe…?
That's one miss'd opportunity.

 
Misfits…? One or two. (Or three...?)
Mise-en-scene-y scenery.
Miss Congeneality.
Misir wot…? Whose recipe…?
 
Misanthrope…? I hope not me.
Miss'd her: Sister Heavenly.
Ms. Liz (nee Miss Probert, she).
Misplaced party loyalty.
 
Misty’s play’d for Clint, not thee.
Misconstrued…? You, dude, should be.
Tillie: Miss Utility.
Meshack (sic)…? Where’d Shadrach be…?

Nine Men's Metiers (11)

Liev deGunnet-Holme: 

     state open-carry law opponent 
Phil E. G. Stayke: 

     sixth Borough short-order cook
Houston Knott-Rink: 

     lapsed AA attendee  
Pier E. Phewe: 

     post-doctoral candidate 
Harv S. d'Moone: 

     Autumnal romantic 
William ("Mo") DeLawne: 

     refusnik landscape architect 
Randy Marathon: 

     lecherous long-distance runner
Otto Partz: 

     mechanic's apprentice
Hugo Furst: 

     reluctant food taster  

Elderbrary (Unpub)

     (Archaedia Acres Retirement Community's lending 

library features book and video titles aimed at now-older 

readers navigating their golden years.)

 
L. Frank Baum’s "The Wizened of Oz" 
 
Tennessee Williams’s "A Streetcar Named Erectile Dysfunction" 
 
Louis Malle’s "Zazie dans le Metamucil" 
 
James Joyce’s "A Portrait of the Arthritic as an Ol’ Fart"  
 
Helen Gurley Brown’s "Sex with a Shingles Girl"  
 
Thorne Smith’s "Topper Takes a Nap"

  
John Updike's "Rabbit Redundant" and "Rabbit Resuscitated"
 
Howard Hawks’s "Bringing Up Bubbe"  
 
Alfred Hitchcock’s "Dial M for Menopause"  
 
Astrid Lindgren’s "Pippi Support Hose" 
 
Bernardo Bertolucci’s "Last Black Bottom in Leisure World"  
 
William Blake’s "Songs of Senescence"

 
A. A. Milne’s "Winnie Can't Pooh" (per GFH)   
 
A. A. Milne’s "Now We Are Sixty" (per GFH)   
 
"Toothless in Seattle"   
 
William Faulkner’s "As I Lay Decomposing" 
 
"The Olde Indifference Shop"

 
"The World According To AARP" 
 
"The Second Vespers of Miss Jean Brodie"  
 
"Senior Citizen Kane" 
 
"Nonagenerian Ninja Turtles"  
 
"Superannuatedman"

  
"The Karate Oikutsu"  
 
"To Kill An Early-Bird Special"   
 
"The Retired Rascals Get Hip Replacements"  
 
"Zen And The Art Of Zimmer Frame Repair"

  
"Some Prefer It Tepid"

 
 "Catch-102" 
 
"The Dental Implants at San Luis Rey"  
 
"Golden Years Boy"  

Eine Kleine Night (Unpub)

It was just one of those things, 
just one of those Almond rings,
one "boo-boo”’d blues of baritone Bing's.
Just one of those things. 

     Yes, it was just one of those things, 
just one of those static Clings, 
one of Sinatra’s "ring-a-ding-Ding"s.
Just one of those things. 

It was just one of those things, 
just one of Stowe's Evenings,
one frequent fib a fail’d POTUS Flings.
Just one of those things. 
     Yes, it was just one of those things, 
just one of Joe's* GOP wings, 
one of those Hankies "Hawkins Falls" wrings.
Just one of those things.  
          * Senator McCarthy 

It was just one of those things, 
just Jacques Cousteau’s coil'd Inner springs. 
(Jacques, who froze Juleps 'n' Singapore Slings,
jokes: "Cuz' Jacques duz doze t'ings.") 
     Yes, it was just that sort of thing,  
just one Ish Kabibblish king,*
one lyric lauding a Lemonade spring.**
Just that sort of thing. 
           * Cf Kyser's band personnel – specifically one  

     Ish Kabibble but any of several others as well.  
           ** Cf the Big Rock Candy Mountain 
 
It was just one of those things,
just one of Mars’ merciless Mings, 
one of those neon Nights of Beijing's.
Just one of those things. 
     Yes, it was just one of those things, 
just one of O's Oprah-blings, 
one of Paterno's Pornography rings.
Just one of Joe’s things. 
 
It was just one of those things,
just one of those Queer-quashin' stings,*
one of those Riffs -- "It don't mean a thing"s.
Just one of those things.  
            * Cf the Stonewall Inn  
     Yes, it was just one of those things, 
just stuff that stiff singer Sting sings, 
one of those Tangs…like Buffalo wings.
Just one of those things. 
 
It was just one of those things,
just (uno...dos...) Underlings,
one of those peerless portrayals of Ving's.*
Just one of those things. 
          * Actor Rhames 
     Yes, it was just one of those things,  
just one of those warm-wax'd Wings,*
one of those Xs that censorship brings.
Just one of Moe’s** things. 
           * Cf the fatal flight of early aeronaut Icarus. 
           ** X-rated film director Morris Lesse 
 
It was just one of those things, 
just one of Ma's (Yoyo's) strings, 
one of those songs with "Zing...zizzy...zing..."s,*
just one of those things... 
           * Cf "Italian Street Song" from Naughty Marietta. 
      ...and it was great fun...but it was  
just one of those things.