Lord knows I’ve tried
to so metamorph “Baby, it’s
COV’D outside”
into Noëls of nonsense to
into Noëls of nonsense to
pleasures provide,
but it’s tough wielding “Baby, it’s
but it’s tough wielding “Baby, it’s
COV’D outside.”
Memes like 'hydroxychloroquine,'
e.g., I’ve eyed,
to inject into “Baby, it’s
to inject into “Baby, it’s
COV’D outside.”
Even channel’d Frank Loesser as
Even channel’d Frank Loesser as
metrical guide
to blue-pencil my “Baby, it’s
to blue-pencil my “Baby, it’s
COV’D outside.”
I have plagiarized "Jingle Bells"
("...what fun... to ride...")
which I bundled with "Baby, it's
COV'D outside."
Then I deftly "White Christmas"'s
mush modified
so's to dovetail with "Baby, it's
COV'D outside."
When with copyright counsels
I chanced to collide
(might some sue me for "Baby it's
(might some sue me for "Baby it's
COV'D outside"...?),
I was forced to, through New Year's,
in Reno reside:
bookies there ignored "Baby, it's
COV'D outside."
At wits' end -- the while hoping that
elf hadn't died --
I wrote Santa re "Baby, it's
COV'D outside."
By return mail, sign'd "Jekyll," (was
I Mr. Hyde...?)
he wrote, "Can't help, ya, baby: there's
COV'D outside."
As an effort -- last ditch! -- I to
POTUS applied
that I hoped to help "Baby, it's
COV'D outside"
become music Americans
warbled with pride.
In predictable fashion, the
president lied:
"But Obama's a fore'gner: with
Biden he spied!
But Bent Hill'ry's a porn'er: she's
nasty; she's snide!
But if only we'd tested less
(we do more testing than
practically anyone)
none would have died!
But we've rounded the corner -- I'll
toot my own horn here -- we've
rounded the corner --
hey! Don't be a scorner! -- we've
rounded the corner: there's
no need to hide 'cuz we've
rounded the corner: no
COV'D outside."
