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Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Alpha Bettys (Unpub)

A. Bridget Hoo-Farr: Half-Irish, Half-Asian DOD Strategist

A. Cindy Hohl: Professional Stud Poker Player

A. Jan d’Orindge: Military Munitions Expert

Abbie Hawn-Muweigh: Travelling Saleswoman

Abra (“Kat”) d’Abrah: Magician’s Assistant

Acacia (“Ms. Takin'“) Ida Nitty: Private Investigator

Ada Badde-Muschrume: Poison Hotline Operator

Ada Zedd: British Typography Designer

Adella Bette Tyme-Storee: Baby Sitter

Adelaide Urdaytte: Physician's office scheduling secretary

 

Adeline O'Tex: Copy editor

Aeriel DeSplaigh: Blue Angel stunt pilot

Agatha Wurlonnazt-Wring: Wall Street portfoloio manager 

Agnes Daye: Religious order mother superior

Alanna Dayce-Werk: Multitasking middle manager 

Alanna Marlon: Deep sea fishing guide

Alba Masself: Recluse

Alba Tross: Jinx

Alexis S. MacCarroff-Joyce: High-maintenance gold-digger

Alice Anne Evan-Tu: Lottery jackpot winner

 

Alice Andalaque: Sad sack Apocalypse predictor

Alice Farr-Given: Female confessor

Alice Ferrin-Luffinwore: Marriage counseler/divorce arbitrator 

Alice Knotwell: FIMA disaster spokesperson

Alicia Coot-Fone: Disgruntled wife of irresponsible traveling salesman

Allison von Derland: Children’s librarian

Allison Evan-Tew: Miss America Pageant contestant

Alma Chelldrenne: Soap opera producer

Alma Tee D’Ollar: Venture capitalist

Alpha Anne O’Mayga: Greek translator

 

Althea N. Meidreems: Sleep therapist

Amber Kerr-Pladder: Short order cook

Amber Wayphs-O’Grayne: Miss America beauty pageant contestant

Amelia Nayre: Philanthropist

Amelia-Rae Shawn: Self-improvement Coach

Amelia Wohnpher-Gett: Restaurant Critic

Andra Moye-Ennepa: Homeric Greek Scholar

Anna Boutface: Candidate For Political Office

Anne Deanna Jones: Archeologist

Andrea Sphault: Seismologist

 

Angela Deth: Roller Derby Girl

Angel Lena Nuff: Anorexia Intervention Dietician

Angie O’Graham: Medical Technician

Angie Mimah: Pancake House Grill Cook

Ann-Cindee Pantz: Break Dancer

Ann Wunne: WNBA Basketball Player

Anna Wonnanattu: Polka Band Leader

Anne O’Wrexia: Fashion Model

Anne Io Layshunne: Roller Derby Girl

Ann Shurantz: Underwriter

 

Anne Napill-O’Day: Vegetarian

Anne O. Penn-Booke: Ingenue 

Anne Stayowtt: Bouncer

Anne Sinwonne-Spantz: Professional Ballroom Dancer

Annette Taintawl: Tabloid Reporter

Annie Portina-Storme: Chronic Runaway

Anita DeGroine: Karate Instructor

April Esther Crewliss-Munthe: Sadistic Meteorologist

April N. Parris: Travel Agent

April Pilar Ripal-LaPri: Anagram Expert

 

April Showers: Meteorologist

Ardis-Anne Brewer: Artisan Brewer

Ardis Treen-Motian: Interpretative Dancer

Aretha Holly Berrice: Christmas Store Salesperson

Arlette Glisserzy-Snottgold: Hog Futures Investor

Arlette Yunno: Casting Director

Arletta Songowowtummee-Hart: Duke Ellington Orchestra Band Singer

Ashley Pat DeWiel: Careless Eighteen Wheeler Operator

Assumpta Position: Yoga Instructor

Athena Nuff: UN Weapons Inspector

 

Audrey Mauve-Geeny: Secretary, Barbara Eden Fan Club

Audrey Sponce: George Bush Speech Writer

Auntie Maim: Roller Derby Girl

Aurora Borré-Ellis: Alaska Tourism Director

Ava Gudaye: Department Store Greeter

Avis Zittfrome-St. Knique: Female Department Store Santa

Ayn Tova Tillitzova: Russian-born Yogi Berra biographer

Anna Liszt: Psychotherapy Practice Manager

Anne Tia Maighm: Roller Derby Girl

Abra Hamm-Lincoln: Part-time Rail Splitter

 

Anna Greene-Gables: Chick Lit Author 

Anne DeWarhawlle: Contemporary Conceptual Artist

Anne Timony: Chemical Engineer

Ann Knapp-Hart, Regina Payrtree: Christmas Store Manager and Assistant

Anne ("Tippi") Dahl: Arctic Explorer

85

 

Babe Zintoylan: Day Care Operator

Babe E. Boom: Roller Derby Girl

Barb Ayrion: Female Wrestler

Barbara Seville: Mezzo Soprano

Barb d’Wire: Prison Guard

Barbara E. Yape: Zoologist

Barb Herrpohl: Men’s Hair Stylist

Barrage O’Bomber: Roller Derby Girl

Barrie DeHatchett: Native American Tribal Leader

Barrie M. Enema: Female Proctologist

 

Bea DeDedd-Horze: Animal Trainer

Bea DeRhonda Bush: Congressional Budget Office Estimator

Bea Gappel: New York City Tourist Board Supervisor

Bea Hayve: Dog Trainer

Bea Ellen Endall: Girl Friday

Bea Levy-Tornott: Guinness Records Verifier

Bea Mai Liddel-Baybe: Girl Group Singer

Bea Ornott-Tubee: Classical Actress

Bea Trudy Yerkode: Bartender

Bea Verkleaver: TV Sit-Com Historian

 

Bebe Gunn: NRA Spokesperson

Becca Mehan: Disciplinarian

Belinda Chynas-Hoppe: Female Wrestler

Bella DeBalle: Beauty Pageant Contestant

Belle Bott-Humtrowzer: WAVE

Belle-Leigh Yupp: Bankruptcy Attorney

Belle Tollsferthy: Income Tax Preparer

Belle Buchen-Kendall: Sorceress

Bertha Deb Loos: Vintage Jazz Singer

Beryl O’Phunn: Polka Band Clarinet Player

 

Beryl E. Oddible: Accoustics Clinician

Bess O’Vabadd-Barrgen: Optimist Club President

Betsy Holl-Paichek: Addicted Gambler

Betta Rozes: Optimist Club Recording Secretary

Bette Cherbootz: Casino Dealer

Bette Nobson-Brumestyx: Children’s Book Author

Bette Noir: Psychologist

Bette Auda-Hell PTA Parent

Bettina Rocanna-Harplayce: UN Negotiator

Betty Goodtomee: Immigration Advocate

 

Bev Ridge-Liszt: Hospitality Hostess

Bibi Anne Tucker: Fashion Coordinator

Billie Vitter-Knott: Expert Witness

Birgit Outtamaway: Roller Derby Girl

Blanche D’Almanns: Aroma Therapist

Bo Nacontention: Divorce Lawyer

Bonny Anne Clyde: Bank Examiner

Bonnie Anne Collide: Roller Derby Girl

Bonnie Prinz-Charles: British Royals Enthusiast

Brenda Wayre-Ness: Marketing Executive



Brianna Craquer: Hors d’Oeuvres Chef

Bridy Fran Kent-Stein: Beauty Pageant Contestant

Brie Finn-Cownter: Massage Parlor Employee

Barb Burr: Tonsorial Artist 

Bea Hay-Viorst: Psychology Major 

Bea Thatazitt-Maye: Defense Attorney

56

 

Caddie Shaque: Golf Course Pro Shop Salesperson

Callie Stenicks: Aerobics Instructor

Camilla Ryewater: FEMA Employee

Candice Waite: Former Help Desk Operator

Candida Piñon: Political Pollster

Candy Rapperre: Theater Concessions Clerk

Cap’n Crunch: Roller Derby Girl

Cara Yerbaggues: Luggage Handler

Carla DeGolden-West: Opera Critic

Carmen Gettitt: Fat Camp Pastry Chef


Carrie Meeback: Virginia State Senator

Carrie Coles d'Newscastle: Financial Advisor To Alan Greenspan

Cass Pearl Spee-Phorswine: Former Poet Laureate

Cassandra Hottin-Roofe: Broadway Stalwart

Cassie O’Peeah: Astronomer

Cathy Turr: Emergency Room Nurse

Catt O’Clysm: Roller Derby Girl

Cattie Laque: Automobile Salesperson

Celia Phate: Sentencing Judge

Celia Phmee: Comedienne


Cher and Sheryl Lyke: Identical Twin Divorce Mediators

Cher DeWelth: Social Democrat

Cherry Tomé-Toze: Greengrocer

Charity Bea Ginnzatt-Holme: Miser

Chloe Sputtnossy-Garr: Olympic Silver Medalist

Chris Anne Themum: Floral Arranger

Cindee Kate Edkollum: Newspaper Op-editorialist

Cindy Swunbefaur: Classic Film Critic

Clara Zahbell: Cell Phone Salesperson

Claire Voyent: Palm Reader


Cleopatra Sneedle: Egyptologist/Tour Guide

Colette Apeenis: Shrew

Condoleezza Seville-Hubble: Real Estate Rental Agent

Constance Hahrowe: New Testament Scholar

Cookie SanCreeme: Pastry Chef

Cora V. Dahl: Lesbian Novelist

Corrie Dors-O’Power: Senate Aide

Crystal Ball: Political Pundit

Cyd E. Limmitz: Congressional Re-Districting Official

Cynthia Binn-Gonne: Temp


Clotho Gold: Seamstress to the Stars 

Cece Saynyour: Female Escort in Mexico City

Coral Rieffe: Dive Boat Scuba Instructor

Chrissy P. Orange-Hicken: Chinese Restaurant Su Chef

Clytemnestra ("Cly") Machange: Weather Forecaster

45

 

Dale Hudd-Teusydees: Dickens Scholar

Dana Schpaighstree: Dessert Chef

Darcy Bloze: Whale Watch Guide

Darma Soxx: Seamstress

Dawn Etta Dedde: Female Vampire

Dawn Zerly-Lyte: Patriot

Deb Auchry: Pedophile Priest Defense Lawyer

Debbie Ornott-DeBie: Shakespeare Scholar

Dee Ranged: Roller Derby Girl

Dee Troitt: Auto Worker


Delia Winninghand: Casino Employee

Della Lye: Polygraph Operator

Della Stishwatter: Wallflower

Delta Blow: Roller Derby Girl

Demi Semiquaver: Orchestral Arranger

Denise R. DeFursta-Goe: WNBA Power Forward (Retired)

Deniece Izgoobye: Divorce Attorney

Detta Graddadude: Good Samaritan

Di Lynn Ford-Allers: Political Campaign Solicitor

Diane d’Amecha: Welcome Wagon Hostess


Dian Cannonade: Roller Derby Girl

Didi Lee Van Knote: Suicide Forensics Expert

Didi Tee: Household Pest Exterminator

Di Wilby-Donne: Presbyter

Dina Stoudentz: School Administrator

Dinah Flo Conn-Trolvalve: Pool Filter Manufacturer

Dinah Curie-Asti: Gossip Columnist

Dinah Myte: Munitions Expert

Dinah Might: Roller Derby Girl

Doe Raymee: Solfege Instructor

 

Doll Erce-D’Donuts: Female Bookie

Dolly Lammah: Buddhist Nun

Dolores Mize-Sheppard: Biblical Scholar

Doña Heide Twenn-DaTappence: Insurance Adjustor

Donna Slipreeslope: U.S. Foreign Policy Analyst

Dora Jahr: Corporate Spy

Dora Jarr: Roller Derby Girl

Doris Eloise O’Penn: Conflict Negotiator

Dot Calmme: Internet Entrepreneur

Drava Harte-Barggin: Hostage Negotiator

 

Dru DeRawnkin-Klushinn: Private Investigator

Dee Maud DeMarrier: Party Planner 

Dora Thea Splora: Adventuress

Della Tudor-Chudge: Arresting Police Officer

 

Eartha Quake: Seismologist and Amateur Roller Derby Girl

Echo Chambers: Accoustician

Echo Kardia: Cardiac Nurse

Edie Ameene: Human Resources Manager

Edna Wydeea: Information Specialist

Effie Hollis-Lettimgow: Double Dutch Coach

Eileen Overbach-Ward: Gynastics Instructor

Elie Gultrayde: Border Patrol Inspector

Ella Mennopee: Abecedarian

Ella-Min Ada Middleman: Discount Salesperson


Elle Vizprezlee: Female Elvis Impersonator

Ellen M. Philtres: Cancer Patient

Ellen Burstin’: Movie Star Wannabe & Amateur Roller Derby Girl

Ellen de Saymbote: Communist Sympathizer

Ellen Tenson-Purpazizz: Male Impersonator

Eloise Annie Bawdeedere: Telephone Researcher

Emma Knemms: Candy Fortune Heiress

Emmy LeUrate: Home Improvement Expert

Erin Yerfayvor: Tax Return Preparer

Esme Noque-Weston: CIA Operative


Esme St.-Edmuther/Eustace-Hay: Geneology Researcher 

Esther Yurri-Buttle: Debate Coach

Eva Lye: Gypsy Palm Reader

Eva Dee Struchs-Hahn: Pessimist

Eve Sanzor-Butz: Complaints Reviewer

Evita Knall-Reddy: Restaurant “Early Bird” Fry Cook

Erin Coplyn: Classical Music Composer

 

F. Thea Singh: American Cultural PR Officer of Subcontinental descent

Fabia Fromm-Mee: Apologist 

Fairy Largebust: Porn Star

Fanny D’Phlaymes: Political Agitator

Farrah Nequitable: UN Elections Monitor

Fawn D’Allovermee: Date Lab Participant

Fawn Monroe: Throaty Lounge Singer

Fay Tillie Traction: Sex Addict

Faye D'Compleigh: Efficiency Expert

Faye DuBlacke: Film Editor


Faye Muss: Publicity Agent

Fern Cora Spondent: Overseas Journalist

Fifi Phyffyfauff-O’Fumm: Carnival Freakshow Giantess

Fifi Bonacci: Mathematician

Fiona Ronehome: Real Estate Agent

Flo Shteetoylette: Ladies Room Matron

Flo Rita O'Ryndge: Dade County Frutiers Association Executive 

Flo Ten-Kingdom: Japanese Trade Envoy

Flora LaRaynger: Florist

Fran d'Leigh Phyre: War Protestor

 

Fran Tikkly-Wayvinn: Republican National Convention Delegate

Francine Hype-Laces: Political Influence Peddlar

Francine DeWinter: Off-Season Travel Agent

Francine Nottra: Impersonator

Fray Wray: Roller Derby Girl

Freya Zebyrd: Libertarian Spokesperson

Freyda DeDarque: Behavioral Psychologist

Freda Geddreddy: Olympic Relay Starting Gun Official 

Freda Gogh: Parole Board Officer

Freda Rumble: Roller Derby Girl

 

Freda Bea Ewen-Mee: Child Psychologist

Fran Szlist: Composer/Pianist 

Freda Zlayphes: Abolitionist

Gaby Hayze: Cowgirl Friday

Gaby Mowth: Talk Show Hostess

Gaye Hopp-Harrell: Transvestite Dresser

Gayle Forswinns: Meteorologist

Gemma DeOcean: U.S. History Lecturer

Geneva Newatt-Hitter: Assassin

Georgia DeJungell: Animated Cartoon Cell Painter

Gerry Dooty: Expert Witness

Gerta Pureloins: Motivational Speaker

Gilberte Mennysons: Surrogate Mother

 

Gilda Lilly: Public Relations Rep

Gilda Mesch: Amateur Assyriologist

Gillian Beenz: Tex-Mex Restaurant Chef

Gina-Anne Tonnique: Barmaid

Ginger Hale: Soft Drink Bottler

Ginnie Buffett: Roller Derby Girl

Giselle Waisbee-Hind: Women’s Rights Advocate

Gladys Izzover: Divorce Attorney

Gloria Enoch-Schellziz: Choral Singer

Goldè Nolte: Vintage Radio Host

 

Golde Fran Kinsenzen-Muir: Christmas Store Manager

Gore DeVolley: Roller Derby Girl

Grace Kale: Print Reproduction Consultant

Grace Keiselkleare-Rupp: Meteorologist

Grace Kaisergawn-O'Clearupp Cosmetician   

Grace Bea Formeels: Catholic Theologian

Grace Underphyre: Expert Witness

Greer Gurle: Employment Counselor

Greta Bella DeGapp: Intra-Generational Counselor

Gretel Willa Wrock: Baby Sitter 

 

Gretel Du Grave: Life Insurance Salesperson

Gussie Dupp: Fashion Model

Gwen Tudor-Chappel: Wedding Consultant

 

H. Bea Forbe-Hughtee: Miss Octagenarian USA Contestant

Hadley Beaton-Grant: Revisionist Historian

Hagar Sonne-DeChec: Restaurant Critic

Halle Skommitt: Astronomer

Hannah Barb Harrah: Cartoonist

Hannah Wayweego: June Taylor Dancer

Hannah Belle Hector: Roller Derby Girl

Harriett Upp: Efficiency Expert

Hattie Skidds: Surrogate Mother

Hedda Bev Water: Working Mother

Hedda Moffet-d'Passe: Assistant Sheriff and Posse Wrangler 

Hedda Lettuce: Supermarket Produce Clerk

Hedda VerHeels: Romance Novelist

Helena Hannah Bassquet: Kindergarten Counselor and Roller Derby Girl

Hera Pinndropp: Acoustician

Hera DeDogg: Bartender

Hermione Zinn-Degutter: Phone Sex Worker

Hero Heeto: Japanese Ambassador

Hester Nover-Hahneulief: Rehabilition Counselor

Hettie Bendrinkin: Police Department Breathalizer Operator

Hilda Ferrand-Somme: Kidnapping Negotiator

 

Holly Anne de Heivey: Shopping Mall Complementary Gift Wrapping Elf 

Hollie Wootten-Fine: Los Angeles Prostitute

Honey Z. Street: Heiress

Honor Ampaige: Political Campaign Manager

Honor Bess Behaviore: Parolee

Honor Di Fodder: Mafia Wives Women's Auxiliary Chairperson

Honor Nees: Scullery Maid

Hope Ann Booke: Expert Witness

Hope (“Bee-Gee”) Wyenne: Gynocologist

 

Hope Rahmas-Mee: Wedding Singer

Hope Rabooffa: New York Met soprano

Hope Spring Zeeternall: Octogenarian Bridal Consultant

 

Ida Thawtzoe: Advice Columnist

Ida Hoe: Streetwalking Potato Farmer

Ilene Tudor-Lephe: Communist Sympathizer

Ilona D’Lastt: Vacation Planner

Ima-Noel Cowhan: Female Rodeo Rider

Imelda Poskard: Postal Service Employee

Imogen de Meara: Narcissist

I. Muriel Deale Natural Blonde

Inge Hootz: Unindicted Co-conspirator

Inez Wyde-Rhye: German Mathematician


Io DeMobbe: Juice Victim

Iona Hand-Gunn: NRA Spokesperson

Irene Egociate: Second Mortgage Broker

Irene Tudor-Wreft: Chinese Communist

Iris Kinvestment: Hedge Fund Manager

Iris Meikace: District Attorney

Irma Bomb-Beck: Roller Derby Girl

Isadora Jarr: Corporate Spy

Iseult Twinjery: Vendetta Leader

I. Shelby Raleighst: Parolee


Isis Melton: Snow Plow Operator

Ivana Bea O’Rown: Tony Bennett Fan Club Secretary

Ivana Bea Mean: Roller Derby Girl

Ivy Kover-d’Wahlz: University of Massachusetts Assistant Dean

I. Minna Danson-Moode: Ballroom Rhumba Instructor

 

Jackie Nubbocks: Toy Retailer

Jamba Laiya: Roller Derby Girl

Jane Gangg: Prison Warden

Jane Gerunne-DeWare: Geriatric Nurse

Jane Sawmass-O’Curr: Serial Killer

Jane Szmoka: Nicotine Addict

Jan Sovrayne: Meteorologist 

Jana Layte: Cable TV News Anchor

Jean Anne Tonnick: Cocktail Waitress

Jerri Atrick: Retirement Home Operator


Jessamin Ittertoo: Hot Line Operator

Jessie Howe-Idfitz: Bra Salesperson

Jewel Tyde-Carroll: Christmas Chorister

Jill Howtt: Spa Matron

Joan Anne DeWayle: Sunday School Teacher

Joyce Ticque: Computer Games Designer

Juana Dantz: Ballroom Instructor

I. Juanna Bea Mee: Egotist

Juanetta Tyme: Turnstyle Monitor

Judy Phatt: Talk Radio Hostess


Juanna Forté-Rhodes: Cocktail Lounge Hostess (Late Shift)

Judy Spree: Bright Young Thing

Julie Vatippe: Restaurant Critic

Justine Kayze: Birth Control Advisor

Joannie Bea Goode: Female Rocker

Jo Sepheiden: Symphonic Composer

Jerri Mander: Political Operative

 

Karen Veeding: Zoo Keeper

Karla Mae Driemz: Lesbian Rights Activist

Kass DeKoldeye: Funeral Parlor Director

Kath O'Dreigh: Gamma Radiation Technician

Kat O’Ninetails: Dominatrix

Kate Tunsville-Nein: Political Protestor

Katty Kizzem: Sunday School Teacher

Katya Theeph: District Attorney

Kay Kanee-Tittoo: Single Mom/CEO

Kaye Seurat-Seurat: French Impressionist Insurance Adjustor


Kay Sarah Serra: Another French Impressionist Insurance Adjustor

Kaye Oh!: Roller Derby Girl

Kaye Threwt-Whelve: Education Specialist

Kimmie Yerwallette: Armed Robbery Suspect

Kiri Elayson: Religious Bookseller

Kirsten Blass-Veemt: Anger Management Therapist

Kitt Sada Darndess-Tings: Kindergarten Teacher

Kitten Caboodle: Estate Auctioneer

Kitty Litter: Pet Shop Proprietor

Kat A. Liszt: Negotiator

 

Kat Emma Rand: Sailor

 

L’Abby Rynthe: Garden Maze Designer

Lacey d’Rores: Women’s Wear Salesperson

Laine Downe-DeLaw: State Legislator

Lainie Aygges: Poultry Farmer

Lana Bigfish: Arranged Marriage Broker

Lana Georgia: Southern Belle

Lana (“The Pill”) Grimm-Spryde: Conservative Politician

Laura DeBoom: Female Wrestler

Laura Lynn Hardy: Comedienne

Laura Mipsome: Female typesetter 

Laura Waye: Female Stevedore (a stephaniedore ?)

Lauren Horder: Prosecuting Attorney

Lauren Sophie Rabia: Camel Caravan Operator

Lauren Tistrique: Slum Lord

L’Austin DeShuffell: Immigration Agency Administrator

Leda Horstavatter: UN Peace Delegate

Lee Galleeze: White House Mouthpiece

Lee Vinn-DeLurche: Deserter

Leeza Tudor-Sedanne: Rent-A-Car Clerk

Leigh Pierre: Calendar Calculator

Lena Nungry: Dietician

Lenah Verback-Ward: Gymnist

Leonie Slapp: Exotic Dancer

Leslie More-Grant: Anti-Confederacy Civil War Historian

Leticia Nolldaug-Newtrix: Animal Trainer

Letta Wripp: Alcoholic

Lettice Praigh: Evangelist

Letty Mavvitt: Mafia Assassin

Libby-Rae Todd-Sista: NOW-NAACP Coalition Convention Delegate

Lila Kerr-Rhugg: Expert witness

Lil Dabbledooya: Hair Care Salesperson

“Lil Didi” Knoh: Bigamist

L’il Kimpact: Roller Derby Girl

Lilith Outlaw: Midget Pickpocket

Linda Helbinn-Hande: Soup Kitchen Volunteer

Lita Anne DeSwann: Mythographer

Liv Anne Lettliff: Animal Rights Activist

Liv Leica-King: Squatter

Liza Anne Wispers: Gossip Comumnist

Liz Pann-Stutter: Speech Impediment Tharapist

Lois Cummin-deNominator: Mathematician

Loni Nur Tiethe: Polygraph Operator

Lorna Parathreeze: Retired Poker Player

Lotte Shea-Kingonon: Stripper

Lou Skannon: Revolutionary

Lou Slippsink-Schipps: Spy

Louisa Ford-Dean: French Historian

Lourdes Meisheperd: Biblical Scholar

Lotta Shakin-Gonon: Exotic Dancer

Lou Cination: Mirage Authority

Lucille Blister: Podiatrist

Lucinda Waistband: Dietician

Lucy Ann d'Skye Diamond Cutter and Beatles Fan Club Treasurer

Luna Mahdjool: Female Astronaut

Lyda Ziff-Heather: Gymnast

Lyla Kay Wrugg: State Senator

Lana Goshen: Hebrew Scholar

Liv Erin Bacon: Chop House Short Order Fry Cook

 

Mabel-Leigh Fragg: Honky-Tonk Piano Player

Madge Enayshin: Futurist

Mae Trudee: Head Waitress

Maevis Neverend: Vacation Planner

Mai Bloo-Evan: Chanteuse

Mai Danskardis, MD: Unattractive General Practitioner

Mame D’Or-Kilde: Life Insurance Salesperson

Mandy Leifebotz: Cruise Ship Safety Inspector

Manon DeMoon: Bull Dyke Astronaut

Mara-Lynne Brando: Method Actress


Mare Zedotes: Tin Pan Alley Song Plugger

Marge Ingorders: Military Liason

Marion Haste: Divorcee

Marion DeBarbarian: Roller Derby Girl

Marcia Lartz: Kung-Fu Instructor

Marsha Nan Vasion: UFO Investigator

Mary DeKorpse: Ghoul

Mary Emelia Nare Goldigger

Mary Forre-Munny: “The Bachelor” TV Contestant

Maud Ara Phallwarce: Neo-Con

 

May Harris-Tinpeece: Mortician

May Kmyna d'Hubble: Barfly

Maya Thercahris-Akaddi: Wealthy Eccentric DeSoto Driver

Mazie Phorsby-Widdyu: Science Fiction Author

Meg Attunn: Nuclear Weaponry Developer

Megan Smeet: Home Economist

Melba Toste: Dietician

Melinda Entree-Blanque: Compulsive Sweepstakes Entrant

Melissa Forth-Ott: Professional Assassin

Meredith Wu-Mann: Lesbian Advocate

 

Merrilee Wier-O’Lallong: Optimist Club Secretary

Michelle Overcome: Civil Rights Activist

Millie Yunnmom-March: Protest Organizer

Milly Van Nelly: Music Performance Artist

Minnie R. Cault: Minister

Miranda Comb: Beauty Supplies Salesperson

Mira Stone-Lye: Cosmetic Surgeon

Misty Trane: Amtrak Employee

Moira Lesse: Production Estimator

Molly Vysser-Tootyte: Middle School Fashion Consultant

 

Mia Meegow: Ambassadress to Mexico 

Morgan Bea Dunne: Political Reformer

Myna Ann Phormayshunne: Researcher

Meryl N. Monroe: Blonde Bombshell

Morag Rikultchur: Farm Subsidy Lobbyist

Mercedes Bentz: Test Driver 

May King Fon: Chinese Comedienne

 

N. Deanna Paizer: WNBA Hoosier Franchise CEO

N. Sue Reqshun: Roller Derby Girl

Nadia C. Watt-Hymeen: Investigative Journalist

Nadia Cuppatee: Mail Order Bride Reject

Nadia Hedd: Spinal Injury Victim

Natalie Attired: Fashion Model

Nell Metz-O'Dell Dante Scholar (married to American Lit Professor Colm E. Ishmael) 

Nell Tenn-Prayde: TV Evangelist

Neve Arlette Miegough: Soap Opera Actress

Neve Eartha Twainchell-Meete: Economic Isolationist

 

Neve Ursay-Daigh: Octagenarian Olympics Athlete

Nicola Ball: Pool Hustler

Nicole Anne Dyme: Loan Shark

Nita Zapinne: House Maid

Noel Ephtern Conservative Pundit 

Noelle Lynn Reiss: Chinese Language Dialect Specialist

Nola May Tanguery: Aphephobic Recluse

Nola Vlost: Female Mafia Enforcer

Nonie Groznee-DePly: Segregationist

Noprah Bleymo: Spanish Complaint Desk Monitor

 

Nora Sponce: 911 Emergency Operator

Nora Sforda-Weery: Labor Leader

Norma L’Espreshin: MVA Photo ID Photographer

Nyna Hartz: Contract Bridge Player

Nona Thea Buff: Pollster 

Nyna Levin: Suicide Bomber

 

Qadi Schaque: Golf Pro

Qamra Reddy: Print Production Supervisor

Queene Farraday: Stay-At-Home Mom

Quilla Sirkillby-Enbroken: Choir Director

Quinta Senn-Schull: Philosophy Professor

Q. "Tessa" Buttinn: Ingenue

 

Rae-Dawn D'Kraqhaus: ATF Officer

Ram Paige: Roller Derby Girl

Randi Marathon: Long Distance Runner

Rapunzel Maas-d’Struchshaun: Terrorist

Raye Verberation: Roller Derby Girl

Reba Bleeken: GOP Pundit

Regine Hormones: Teen Magazine Editor

Renata Steem: Losing Political Candidate

Rhoda Dendron: Florist

Rhoda Hedd: Career Counselor


Rhoda Knott-Taykin: Job Retraining Counselor

Rhonda Bend: Asylum Attendant

Rikki Shaw: Oriental Taxi Driver

Rima Lipz: Feminist Spokesperson

Rita De Rye-Ettact: Night Court Judge

Rita Tenweep: Casino Poker Dealer

Roberta Flak: Roller Derby Girl

Robin Theerich: Class-Action Attorney

Robin D’Kraydle:

Robin “Red” Brest:


Robin Zeggbleu: Fashion Designer

Romie O’Romeo Shakespearean Actress

Rona DeMille: Average Housewife

Rosalie d’Rome: Italian Highway Commissioner

Rose Yerboat: Olympic Sculler

Roseanne Barrage: Roller Derby Girl

Rosetta Stone: NATO Translator

Rosie Fingerdawn: Homeric Scholar

Rowena Bote: Sculling Crewer

Roxanne Bottles: PLO Activist


Ruby Slibberz: World Traveller

Rumer Hazzitt: Gossip Columnist

Ruth Adaye: Yellow Journalist

Rae Fawn Williams: Symphonic Music Composer

Rae Zerwyre: Security Guard

Ruth Welcrosse: Senior Lecturer on Medieval Religious Artifacts

Rhea Qwayntedd: High-School Reunion Evant Coordinator

Rhoda Dakota: Local Cable Hannah Montana Wannabe

 

Sabina Longthyme: Class Reunion Secretary

Sabrina Longa-Frende: Female Escort

Schottze Niddarque: Mystery Writer

Sadie Stique: Dominatrix

Samantha Gottaway: Bachelorette Loser

Sandra Andrea Sphawlt: Seismologist

Saphira Waye: Firing Squad Lientenant

Sara Doctrine de Haus: Emergency Medical Tech

Sarah Flyyin-Mazoop: Restaurant Critic

Sasha Deale: Used Car Salesperson

 

Selma Selph: Srx Worker

Sharon Cheryl Lyke: Divorce Mediator

Sheila Rae Injitt: Private Secretary

Sheila Mount Ten Nuthin: Voted (Ironically) Senior “Most Likely To Succeed”

Sheila Weskett-Hermann: Female Canadian Mountie

Shelby Cummin & Rhonda Mountain: C/W Singing Duo

Shelly Nerrit-DeUrth: Ecologist

Shirley Hugh-Geste: Standup Comedienne

Sheryl Locke-Combs: Female Detective

Sigrid Sayph-Widme: Psychiatrist

 

Siobhan Stooby-Ellone: Benedictine Anchoress

Sissy Señor: Tijuana Prostitute

"Smokie" Fuguegoddam: Ex-WWII GI Comfort Kit Packer

Sonja Stusseeya: Big Box Store Welcomer

Sophie Steeg-Haydid: Fashion Designer

Sue de Nym: Ghostwriter

Sue DePanzoff: Class Action Attorney

Sue M. Finn: Olympic Diver

Sue Porting-Rolle: B-Movie Character Actress

Sue-Rae Zervation: Indian Agent

 

Sue Shee-Barr: Japanese Restaurant Chef

Sukey Pthachange: Waitress

Summer Betran-Uthers: Quality Control Expert

SuzeAnne Lita Gates: Class Action Attorney

Sybil DeSobeedience: Anti-War Protestor

Sheena DeKrime Criminal Investigative Reporter

Sarah Ann Rapp Food Preservation Technician

Sue Pence-Endwidge: Lunch-Counter Waitress

Sadie J'Allynger: Reclusive Female Author of Young Adult Fiction

Sorcha Deale: Jewelry Channel Saleswoman 


Sue Skyzell: Writer/Illustrator of Children's Books 

 

Tamara San Utter-Daye: TV Weatherperson

Tanya Hyde: Reform School Principal

Tara Rabboom-D’Yaye: Cheer Leader

Tekakwitha Grayne-O’Salt: Investigative Reporter

Terri Bultooze: Toddler Day Care Specialist

Tessie R. Ness: TV Sit-com Producer

Thais Hansen-Gaghem: CIA Interogator

Thea Cyd Tesste: Metallurgist

Thea Mary Kent-Reeme: Teabagger

Thelma Rawden-Pillage: Anti Motorcycle Club Activist

 

Theresa Tydinn-d'Aphairsamen: Political Prognositcator

Thora Luther: Speech Therapist (Retired)

Tia Zelliott: Obscurantist Poetess

Tilde Kowsca-Mome: Tax Refund Expeditor

Tillie Goetz-Ober: Designated Driver

Tina Jeware-Woolfe: Juvenile Fiction Author

Tippe Yertongue: Memory Expert

Tori Schirtoff: Male Stripper’s Agent

Trixie DeTrayde: Grifter

Trudy Yerkode: Barkeep

 

Thea ter Hough-Kreulty: Artaud Devotee

Teresa Krowd: Couples Therapist 

Tia Nay: Chorus Line Dancer

Tara “Babe“ Bell: OT Scholar

Terri Klawthe: Seamstress

Thea Gann-Nye: Intellectual

Thea Perrand: Dominatrix

Tempest N. O'Teepott Political Activist

Tina J'Ardth-Robbe: Teenage Heart-throb

Tori Strowsers: Clumsy Sex Worker

 

U. Bette Chirpaighczech: OTB Parlor Agent

Ulan Mia Buck: Panhandler

Ulla DeAbove: SAT Test Administrator

Uma Chewbee: Immigration Officer

Uma Sri-Memberdis: Alzheimer's Disease Researcher 

Una Baumer: Right-To-Life Activist and Roller Derby Girl

Una Knight-Enamuzik: Romantic Film Starlet 

Uta Thunckit: Gossip Columnist 

Uma Sonderstan: Unsuccessful United Nations Translator

 

Val DeRaha-Hahaha: Happy Wanderess

Val Euvillage: Discount Department Store Clerk

Vanna Fallinluv: Nightclub Singer

Venus Nitzell: Sausage Stuffer

Vera Flye-Inne: Amtrak Conductor 

Vi Aachen-Dios: Medical Assistant To Dr Kervorkian

Vi D’Longface: Grief Counsellor

Vi O’Lence: Roller Derby Girl

Vi Tull-Synes: ER Nurse


Vilma Tulll-Levin: News Anchorperson

Violet N. DeTrasch: Suggestion Box Clerk

Vita Peeble: Congresswoman

Vixen D’Pipes: Plumber

Vi Viv Dean: Rush Hour Drive-Time DJ

Vera Chuckindave: 64-Year-Old Beatles Fan Club Recording Secretary

 

Wanda Hoos-Kissingher: Private Investigator

Wanda Sibyl Worr: Pro-Confederacy Alternative Historian

Wanda Pinnjail: Binge Drinker

Wanda Rinnjou: Perapatetic Israeli

Wendy Moonitz-Urigh: Collector of Dean Martin Recordings

Wendy Wynn-Bleauze: Meteorologist

Willa Nan Nabel: Mail-Order Bride

Wilma Shipp-Cummin: Soybean Futures Day Trader

Winifred Lou Ziff-Black: Roulette Croupier

Winnie Gunnapaigh: Debt Collection Agent

 

Winnie Nawillows: Children’s Literature Author

Winona Hottip: Bookie

Wanda Groh-Hahn: Children‘s Birthday

Wanda Barr: German Positivist Philosopher

Wanda Woughman: Statuesque Working Girl 

 

Xantippe De Iceberg: Investigative Reporter

Xaviera Bin-Lohnley: Phone Sex Worker

Xena Nuff: War Correspondant

Xhosa Menthusiasm: NBA Cheerleader

Xilia Phmee: Comedienne


Yolanda Zmylande: Folk Singer

Yaser D’Atsma-Baighbee: Vaudevillian

Yumi Anne De Lampost: Gossip Columnist

Yvette Enuff: Killjoy Barmaid

Yvonne Toobeealone: Garbo Impersonator

Y. Isabel Leika-Bowlingshoe: Lewis Carroll Studies Tutor

Y. Joanie Kent-Reed: Education Specialist


Zada Darndeztings: Children’s Market Researcher

Zaphyra Rass: Employment Counselor

Zeenah DeKryme: Police Reporter and Roller Derby Girl

Zelda Stock: Portfolio Manager

Zoë Tollmee: Ghostwriter

Zora Loozah: Gamblers Anonymous Therapist

 

 

Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"