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Thursday, November 19, 2020
Repost: BUG ABC
A's for A BUG: Donald Rumsfeld,
shocking awful ABU Ghraib Bug!
shocking awful ABU Ghraib Bug!
B's for B BUG: Ms. Savitsky,
bitchin' Bella ABzUG Bug!
bitchin' Bella ABzUG Bug!
C's for C BUG: John Belushi:
"…-burger, cheese-!" (Cheese BUrGer Bug!)
"…-burger, cheese-!" (Cheese BUrGer Bug!)
D...? D BUG's Marlene Dietrich:
Deutsch-treat BlaUe EnGel Bug!
Deutsch-treat BlaUe EnGel Bug!
E's for E BUG: King Kong: esca-
lator’d E. State BUildinG Bug.
lator’d E. State BUildinG Bug.
F’s for F BUG: Swiss Jean Tinguely,
fabled FreiBoUrG Fauvist Bug!
G’s for G BUG: young Abe Lincoln,
gabby GettysBUrG Address Bug!
gabby GettysBUrG Address Bug!
H...? For H BUG: Little Toot, the
hapless happy HarBor TUG Bug!
hapless happy HarBor TUG Bug!
I's for I BUG: Adolf Hitler:
rare "Is Paris BUrninG...?" Bug!
rare "Is Paris BUrninG...?" Bug!
J's for J BUG: Oscar Hammer-
stein: "June's BUstinG Out All O-…" Bug!
stein: "June's BUstinG Out All O-…" Bug!
K's for K BUG: Boris I,* the
karmic Khan (BUlGari'n) Bug!
karmic Khan (BUlGari'n) Bug!
* Boris (the) First, of course –
i.e., not Boris Ingelheim the
New Jersey orthodontist
L...? For L BUG: Wolverines: those
"I Love Thee, Li'l Brown JUG" Bugs!
"I Love Thee, Li'l Brown JUG" Bugs!
M...? M BUG's The Artist’s* "The Most
BeaUt'ful Goil In Woild" Bug!
BeaUt'ful Goil In Woild" Bug!
* The one formerly known as 'Prince'
N's for N BUG: Ms. Monroe: the
nubile Nude-on-Bear-RUG Bug!
nubile Nude-on-Bear-RUG Bug!
O's for O BUG: K. L. Bates:* "O,
BeautifUl For Spacious...Grain" Bug!
BeautifUl For Spacious...Grain" Bug!
* Composer of "America the Beautiful"
Katherine Lee Bates
P's for P BUG: A. Carnegie:
philanthropic PittsBUrGh Steel Bug!
philanthropic PittsBUrGh Steel Bug!
Q's for Q BUG: Marx, aka
QuackenBUsh (dubb'd Groucho) Bug!
QuackenBUsh (dubb'd Groucho) Bug!
R's for R BUG: Michael Richards:
racist RaBid JUnkyard DoG Bug!
racist RaBid JUnkyard DoG Bug!
S...? S BUG's for Messers Flatt and
Scruggs: two Southern BlUeGrass Bugs!
Scruggs: two Southern BlUeGrass Bugs!
T's for T BUG: Joseph Gibbs: a
Turncoat BUrgundy 'n' Gold Bug!
Turncoat BUrgundy 'n' Gold Bug!
U’s U BUG's United Ara-
Bic RepUb' of EGypt Bug!
Bic RepUb' of EGypt Bug!
V's for V BUG: C. Bartholin*:
“VestiBUle...VaGina” Bug!
* The Younger
W’s BUG is Patrick Henry:
WilliamsBUrg Gunpowder Bug!
WilliamsBUrg Gunpowder Bug!
X...? For X BUG: Ryken*: Xaver-
ian Bro from BrUGge Bug!
ian Bro from BrUGge Bug!
* I.e., T. J. Ryken
Y's for Y BUG: Rodgers:* "You've Got
Caref'llY to Be TaUGht" Bug!
Caref'llY to Be TaUGht" Bug!
* Richard, of course,
not Roy – note spelling (orthography,
of course, not Tori)
Z's for Z BUG: Pike: Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-breeding
ZeBUlon MontGom'ry Bug!
ZeBUlon MontGom'ry Bug!
Repost: A Lesser Mandala
Dawns the Year of the Rat –
time to knot one's cravat,
time to knot one's cravat,
don equestrian hat
and suede socks,
grab one’s fat fungo bat
and, departing one’s flat,
nail naff neighbors – ker-splat! --
with lobb'd rocks.
Dear oh dear: here’s the Year of the Ox.
and suede socks,
grab one’s fat fungo bat
and, departing one’s flat,
nail naff neighbors – ker-splat! --
with lobb'd rocks.
Dear oh dear: here’s the Year of the Ox.
Dawns the Year of the Ox.
First, reset all your clocks.
Doing thus should outfox
Rodney Steiger,
whose homage to Guy Fawkes
closes Pandora’s box:
Just hope Herr Muller talks
to Herr Geiger!
But look here: here’s the Year of the Tiger.
First, reset all your clocks.
Doing thus should outfox
Rodney Steiger,
whose homage to Guy Fawkes
closes Pandora’s box:
Just hope Herr Muller talks
to Herr Geiger!
But look here: here’s the Year of the Tiger.
Dawns the Year of the Tiger.
A white cub haunts my gar-
age; full-grown cats cry, “Gr-r-r-r…”
(bad habit).
And when habitat’s nigh gar-
ment districts, feed dry gar-
lic toasts to it, via
Dad's sabot.
Give a cheer! Here’s the Year of the Rabbit.
A white cub haunts my gar-
age; full-grown cats cry, “Gr-r-r-r…”
(bad habit).
And when habitat’s nigh gar-
ment districts, feed dry gar-
lic toasts to it, via
Dad's sabot.
Give a cheer! Here’s the Year of the Rabbit.
Dawns the Year of the Rabbit.
Bud (“Who’s on first...?”) Abbott
gets strip'd of his jabot
for braggin,’
while Costello’s so drab, it
seems Lou ought to nab it.
Without it, his habit's
seen saggin.’
Nothing queer: here’s the Year of the Dragon.
Bud (“Who’s on first...?”) Abbott
gets strip'd of his jabot
for braggin,’
while Costello’s so drab, it
seems Lou ought to nab it.
Without it, his habit's
seen saggin.’
Nothing queer: here’s the Year of the Dragon.
Dawns the Year of the Dragon,
when thirsts, off the wagon,
take more than one flagon
to slake.
And, although I loathe raggin,’
green grog gets me gaggin.’
I s’ppose I’ll be baggin’
this take.
Nowt to fear: here’s the Year of the Snake.
when thirsts, off the wagon,
take more than one flagon
to slake.
And, although I loathe raggin,’
green grog gets me gaggin.’
I s’ppose I’ll be baggin’
this take.
Nowt to fear: here’s the Year of the Snake.
Dawns the year of the Snake,
When each roue and rake
channels Samuel (“Jake”)
F. B. Morse
and dons thaub of a sheik,
boils his Sal’sbury steak
and throws up, for Pete’s sake.
(My! How coarse!
Hold your sneer: here’s the Year of the Horse.)
When each roue and rake
channels Samuel (“Jake”)
F. B. Morse
and dons thaub of a sheik,
boils his Sal’sbury steak
and throws up, for Pete’s sake.
(My! How coarse!
Hold your sneer: here’s the Year of the Horse.)
Dawns the Year of the Horse.
Must each child of divorce
to the island of Cors-
ica float...?
Yes, she must! (If she’s Norse,
sugar daddies, of course,
shall supply a sound source
for her boat.)
Now we’re nearing the Year of the Goat.
Must each child of divorce
to the island of Cors-
ica float...?
Yes, she must! (If she’s Norse,
sugar daddies, of course,
shall supply a sound source
for her boat.)
Now we’re nearing the Year of the Goat.
Dawns the Year of the Goat.
Ev’ry grandee of note
must remark (and I quote):
“I’m a junkie!”
Whereupon each must troat
us his suicide note.
It’s as if each one wrote
“Death: how funky!”
Dry that tear: here’s the Year of the Monkey.
Ev’ry grandee of note
must remark (and I quote):
“I’m a junkie!”
Whereupon each must troat
us his suicide note.
It’s as if each one wrote
“Death: how funky!”
Dry that tear: here’s the Year of the Monkey.
Dawns the Year of the Monkey,
when girls who wax spunky –
like Elsa or Punky
nee Brewster –
sleep with boys who look hunky,
whose pecs appear chunky.
Not one proves a flunky
like Wooster.)
Let’s be clear: here’s the Year of the Rooster.
when girls who wax spunky –
like Elsa or Punky
nee Brewster –
sleep with boys who look hunky,
whose pecs appear chunky.
Not one proves a flunky
like Wooster.)
Let’s be clear: here’s the Year of the Rooster.
“Dawns the Year of the Rooster,"
sings Simon to Schuster.
“Tis time, sir, that you stir
the grog.
All it needs is a booster,
the way good stuff us’d ter.”
Thereon, Carly loos'd her
pet frog.
Let us veer towards the Year of the Dog.
sings Simon to Schuster.
“Tis time, sir, that you stir
the grog.
All it needs is a booster,
the way good stuff us’d ter.”
Thereon, Carly loos'd her
pet frog.
Let us veer towards the Year of the Dog.
Dawns the Year of the Dog,
when small shifts in typog-
raphy made on one’s blog
show up big.
Yet, although I would flog
neither dead horse nor hog,
the result is but smog.
Do you dig...?
It appears here’s the Year of the Pig.
when small shifts in typog-
raphy made on one’s blog
show up big.
Yet, although I would flog
neither dead horse nor hog,
the result is but smog.
Do you dig...?
It appears here’s the Year of the Pig.
Dawns the Year of the Pig,
when folks claim how this gig
must fall flat and renege
on its promise:
there’s the Joe who’s a prig,
those who don’t give a fig,
and one mean Mr. Big:
Doubtful Thomas.
(Sorry: no years devoted to llamas.)
when folks claim how this gig
must fall flat and renege
on its promise:
there’s the Joe who’s a prig,
those who don’t give a fig,
and one mean Mr. Big:
Doubtful Thomas.
(Sorry: no years devoted to llamas.)
Repost: Never!
I'll support an assortment of Dons –
just not Drumpf.
Defunct actor Ameche...? Why not!
Donald Byrd, trumpet preacher...?
Defunct actor Ameche...? Why not!
Donald Byrd, trumpet preacher...?
Donn, "comber de beach"...? Sure!
I'll dig any Donald you’ve got!
I'll dig any Donald you’ve got!
* Restauranteur Donn Beach,
known as 'Don the Beachcomber.'
Don Cheadle the humanitarian...?
Great!
Ditto Crisp and DeLillo and Duck!
I'm for Drysdale (yeah, really!),
Ditto Crisp and DeLillo and Duck!
I'm for Drysdale (yeah, really!),
for Fagen the Steely
and Draper -- I don't give a fuck!
and Draper -- I don't give a fuck!
I’m for Ho the Hawaiian
and Henley the Eagle.
Mysogynist Imus...? I'm torn!
But Don Knotts and Don King
Mysogynist Imus...? I'm torn!
But Don Knotts and Don King
and Don Mattingly...? Regal!
I'll blow almost any Don's horn.
I'll blow almost any Don's horn.
I'm no sort to support
Father Donald McGuire*
around whom no young boys abide safe.
I say "Nay!" to all priests
around whom no young boys abide safe.
I say "Nay!" to all priests
caught despoiling the choir --
"Yay!" to Dondi the comic strip waif.
"Yay!" to Dondi the comic strip waif.
* Now-jailed pederast Jesuit
supported by Mother Theresa.
Don Pardo, Don Pleasance!
O'Connor, McLean!
Even Rickles and Rumsfeld I'll buy.
As I say, I'll support
Even Rickles and Rumsfeld I'll buy.
As I say, I'll support
any Donald but Drumpf.
(Nor, indeed, do you need to ask why.)
(Nor, indeed, do you need to ask why.)
With Sterling the racist
one needs to take pause,
as he airs neither honor nor umph.
But I'd Shula endorse.
as he airs neither honor nor umph.
But I'd Shula endorse.
Donald Sutherland...? 'Course!
I'm for ANY damn Donald but Drumpf.
I'm for ANY damn Donald but Drumpf.
Runcibl'd Spooner: Financial Advice
Your special isle; your dreams there dwell:
Bali Ha'i
Address Ms. Jackson; scream, "Don't sell!"
Hallie! Buy!!
Moral:
Bali Ha'i
Address Ms. Jackson; scream, "Don't sell!"
Hallie! Buy!!
Moral:
Who fails to hoard each stock 'n' share
shall ne'er fund castles in the air.
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