Gamuts Two or From Aback to Zed (Past)

From aback to ahead, astir to abed.
From hang'd to beheaded, garrotted to bled.
From an Irish goodbye in James Joyce's The Dead
to a "Caed mille failte" (IF "caed" rhym'd with "ped-").
 
From cash to cred. From nun to coed.
From "Alive...it's alive!" to "I’m better off dead!"
From House to Ed. From daring to dread.
From The Conqueror, William to "-ward (the) VIII(th), Ed-."
 
From famish’d to fed, extract to imbed.
From Lucy and Desi to Ethel and Fred.
From stood pat to fled, Nikkei to the Fed.
From G. B. Shaw's "ghoti" to Sgt. Jim's "ghled."
 
From toenail to head. From "too" to instead."
From Coal Miner's Daughter to Ballade of Jed.
From pure to inbred. From Nike to Ked.
From a morning ashore to two weeks at Club Med.
 
From followed to fled. From silver to lead.
From informed to mislead. From acquired to misread.
From Tia Maria to Great Uncle Ned.
From "-tigone" (An-) to "the King, -ipus" (Oed-).
 
From Math to Phys Ed., poppadom to shortbread.
From a mood indigo to a fire engine red.
From cross file to shred. From skateboard to sled.
From oleo to "the expensiver spread."
 
From whispered to said. From slowed down to sped.
From atque to sed. From halyard to thread.
From "Empty your pockets!" to "Move right ahead!"
From a slap on the wrist to a trip to the shed.
 
From hitched to unwed. From remanded to pled.
From Aethelbald to Aethelraed the Unraed.
From Chita's Chihuahua to Sam's Samoyed.
From A, B through N, O, P, Q, R...
 
                                                ...to Zed!

Three Exquisite Limericks (Past)

There’s this guy, do-or-die: Bernie Sanders.
Pumpkin pie, ham on rye, Peter panders.
Mervyn Peake, so to speak.
Wednesday week, hide-‘n’-seek.
Please stand by, eye for eye, geese for ganders.
 
Wrote this man, cheek of tan, Don DeLillo.
Spic ‘n’ Span, Ku Klux Klan, cigarillo.
Come to grief, twelve-mile reef.
Are you “deef”…? Where’s the beef…?
Or, to pan the Qur’an: “Armadillo!”
 
‘Twas this bloke, country folk, Raul Julia.
Pig-in-poke, Roanoke. (Would I fool ya…?)
“Over There,” share ‘n’ share.
Truth or dare, braid the hair.
Take a toke, have a soak, halleluljah!

The 12 Dates of Xmas Pageant (Past)

In twelfth place is Ms. d’Ruhmer Struhmann,
formerly a nun.
In eleventh…? Lourdes-Lee Pinne.
(Twelfth’s the best Pinne's ever done.)
     In tenth place…? Piper Spigh-Penn.
Just to enter’s been her prayer.
In ninth place…? Lady Stanzing.
She’s got somethin’ on the mayor.
     In eighth place…? Maye d’Zamilkin.
Maye’s placed eighth the last eight years.
In seventh place…? The Swanzas women.
(Please hold down the jeers!)
     In sixth place…? Geisha Laine.
Is Geisha not a pretty girl...?
In fifth place…? Golda Rinques.
She's vow’d to “give this match a whirl.”
     In fourth…? Cal (“Inga”) Bertz:
“To be a nominee’s enough.”
In third…? Fran Chence,
who, this year, is competing in the buff.
     In second place…? Ms. Tyrdle-Duffs.
And now, the env’lope, please:
It’s Anna Pahrd! Regina Peartree!
Tied for VIPs!*
 
     * Victors-In-Pageant

Twinkle, Twinkle (A Crambo) (Past)

 
Twinkle, twinkle, little crambo!
Sing a little, crambo’d star!
Regale me: tales with tails in '-ambo' --
ala Mary's little lambo --
naming names containing ‘-ar.’
 
Rales deliver from your ambo!
(Alcazar and Roseanne Barr.)
Sing bamboo (which you’ll term ‘bambo’)!
Bring it! Bam, bam, thank you, ma’ambo!
(Vicki Carr, the DAR.)
 
Chowders – fish ‘n’ corn ‘n’ clambo.
(Escobar, Felicia Farr.)
Dawdle – no one gives a damnbo!
Skip I shall your next exambo.
(Terri Garr.) …-dee-hardee-har-r-r-r…
 
Light the night with waxen’d flambeau!
Blind Pew, Long John Silver. (“Har-r-r-r…”)
Stuff once spun by Gramp ‘n’ Grambo:
songs of spiral-slicéd hambo,
(Izh -- the car. Abdul Jabbar.)
 
Measure dactyl and iambo!
(Kilobar ‘n’ Lobular.)
Let’s get down; let’s have a jambo!
Not no gram: a kilogrambo!
(Mallomar and Nebular.)
 
Don’t dare take it on the lambo!
(Ottokar the First. Jack Paar.)
It takes two to do the mambo…
more to clobber Viet Nambo,
(Quigley’s Bar. “Au Reservoir!”)
 
Shun ocarina, oud and oboe!
(Streetcars named "Tsar’s Underw’ar.")
Lull me sleepwards in my prambo!
Blam…? No: quiet! (Thank you, ma’ambo.)
(Vinegar and Wunderbar.)
 
Sing in rhymes the climes of Rambo,
(XAR and Babi Yar.)
Songs of PC’d Blak-lived Sambo…?
I don’t give a tinker’s damnbo.
Do your worst, O crambo’d star!
 
Wrap yourself in Uncle Sambo,
(Babi Yar and Zonular.)
Gently – no hydraulic rambo.
Should you mention Viet Nambo,
I’ll not wonder what you are.
 
Twinkle, twinkle, little crambo!
You’re for sure a crambo’d star!
Nailing tales with tails in ‘-ambo’ --
marinara’d leg o’ lambo --
gaming names that end in ‘-ar.’

Comet Relief (For GFH) (Past)

Which comet kill’d the dinosaurs…? 

That’s Chicxulub, so-call’d.
(Comet Ci Come' Ca’s the one 

did in the unenthrall’d.)
     Which one’s the killer comet 

with which rogues identify…?
That’s Comet to My Parlor 

Said the Spider to the Fly.
     Which comet kill’d the cowboys…? 

Comet Ti-Yi-Yippee-Yay.
Which comet kill’d the Frenchmen…? 

Comet Allez-vous, okay…?
     Which comet kill’d the Hindus…? 

Comet Sutra; that's the one.
Which comet kill’d the dilettantes…? 

No comet! (Are we done…?)  

Another Deep Time (11)

     The Word Ladder "Deep>Time": 

(deep>deer>

deem>teem>team>

teal>deal>

veal>vial>dial>

dual>dull>

mull>mule>mile>

tile>time)

     The Wolaly "Deep>Time": 

 

Deep 'neath teal-toned canopies,

deer -- two doe, a fawn -- appear.

Deem'd in danger be the three: 
teems this forest with, I hear,
teams of huntsmen, pity-free.

May teal, a hue for calming fear,

deal quelque chose to alls' esprit.

Veal o'er venison: which be,

with vials -- more: magnitudes! -- of beer,

on dials of savory strike top key...?*

Dual carnes, jus'd or sere, 

dull tongues' taste buds, all agree.

Mull on this, as well, my dear:

mule's of tang no apogee,

nor mile I'd walk for camel, clear...?

O'er tile or t'rrazzo...? Never, me!

"Time," still, "will tell," doth Lucky** sneer.

     * Number 11, perhaps...? 

     ** A character appearing in Beckett's 

"Waiting for Godot."

     For a Wolaly derived from this one using 

a variant of the N+1 technique pioneered by 

the OuLiPo, see post for August 27 above.