El Condor Passacaglia; or, The Skeptical Sage

Even if...yes, even if he could
he'd neither be a hammer nor a nail.
"Being either would portend no good --
nor would I be a lancet or a grail."
     Even if...yes, even if he could
he'd neither be a hound dog nor a coon.
"Being either's bad; that's understood --
nor would I be a dart or a balloon."
     Even if...yes, even if he could
he'd neither be an angel nor a rake.
"I'll be not one nor other (knock on wood!) --
nor would I be transparent or opaque."
     Even if...yes, even if he could
he'd neither wander left nor amble right.
"Neither's worthy, in all likelihood --
and yet," he ponders, "whither lies the light...?"