"Take a Mother of Invention..." AmalgaMates, AmalgaMarriages & AmalgaMavens: Abecedarial Caricatures

Take a Mother of Invention.
Tack on terminal detention.
Ne'er a cuter persecute.
Alter ego? Sheik Yerbouti.                             Anne Frank Zappa

Poke a '10' -- one lithe and lanky.
Yoke her to the New Yo'k Yankee.                  Bo Derek Jeter

We've been attacked, shellac'd, Iraq'd.
We've sure been meg'lomaniac'd.
Who best to research and redact
our "Tarzan Does the Tal'ban" tract?              Condoleezza Rice Burroughs

He trilled "My Peggy Sue-a-hoo,"
then thrilled us in that tome by Tru                Buddy Holly Golightly

Ubercop (the best of Chester)
spliced his genes with GynoJester.                 Dick Tracy Ullman

Plu-poetess -- no sonneteer --
she won a prize but lost an ear.                     Edna St. Vincent Van Gogh

His lips, 'twixt sips, drip quips sarcastic.
Plastic ears? Attached with mastic.                 Fat Jack Leonard Nimoy 

This tree-tall tourist trots the globe,
becomes Miss McEnroeophobe.                      Goose Tatum O'Neal

Arrives as FDR departs. 
With him, bucks stop but bugg'ry starts.         Harry S. Truman Capote

With friends like these* (all "homes" he had)

you'd think he'd banish boys who're bad.**    Isiah Thomas the Tank Engine

     * Percy, James, Gordon...

     ** Laimbeer, Rodman, Mahorn...

Who quells a Cuban Missile Crisis
yells, "Eleven herbs and spices!"                    JFKFC

Green velveteen? It’s never easy.
This bean’s spleen’s lean, mean and sleazy.    KerMitt the Romney 

He bids his nymphets, “Let’s pretend."

(Are di’monds still this churl’s best friend?)      Lewis Carroll Channing

Dismissed as a harlot by Pinkerton (varlet!),

this missy play’d Prissy to Vivien’s Scarlett.    Madame Butterfly McQueen

He trilled re Gioconda’s smile. 
They killed him. (Bye, Br’er Batophile.)          Nat King Kong 

Mean fiends he beans with beams of light. 
His caffeine beans be outta sight.                  Obi Juan Valdez

This pale, peculiar juvenile 
is Hitler’s tool – and hot as “heil!”                  Pee Wee Hermann Goering 

Her “pot and pan” is Ferdinand. 
She hassles Transylvanialand.                       Queen Isabella Lugosi 

No frump: a goddess, deemed domestic, 
humping iron. (Seems catachrestic.)              Roseanne Arnold Schwarzenegger 

Olympic oro won as minor. 
Famous, though, for one one-liner.                Sonja Henny Youngman 

Eyes? True blue. Skin? Faux-bronze. So: 
how’s his journalism? Gonzo!                         Tab Hunter Thompson   

Hailed ‘has-been” by a “never-was,” 
he’s not your nephew, bro or cuzz.                 Uncle Sam Donaldson

She’d love to lead you to the lighthouse. 
Too far out? How’s ‘bout the White House?      Virginia Wolf Blitzer

His nom de nursey is Edward. 
Does he nudge his nation red-ward?                Winnie the Putin 

“Fretful,” “frightful,” “for the birds.” 
(Not mine but Xenophon’s harsh words.)          Xanthippe Hedrin

Cops to more than fifteen Grammies. 
Tops my list of heinous mammies.                   Yo Yo Ma Barker 

Cinematic. Pre-Socratic. 
Eliatic. Enigmatic.                                           Zeno of Elia Kazan