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Sunday, October 27, 2024

Mondo Moodo Imperativo; Or, Get In The Mood! An Alphabet (With A Codetta)

   In-
dicative, subjunctive, inter-
rogative: three moods. 
   As  
moods grammatical, I'd grade 'em 
"fair."

   When 
task at hand's, tho', grabbin' folks' at-
tention 'n' such, 
   the 
mood imperative just can't com-
pare.

   A-
bandon hope all ye who enter!
Ask the man who owns one!
   Blast off! 
Baciami, bambino! Break a 
leg!

   Cher-
chez la femme! Cut! Curb your pet! Con-
fess! Cross at the light!
   Dive! Di-
vide 'n' conquer! Duck! Don't make me 
beg!
 
   Ex-
eunt! Enter laughing! Eat my 
shorts! En Garde! Enjoy!
   Fug-
gedaboudit! Fear the Turtle! 
Freeze!

   Gag me!
Gent'men...start your engines! Go to 
hell! Gimme a viskey!
   Hi-yo, 
Silver! Help me! Hold the mayo...
...please!

   In-
to the breach once more! Imagine! 
If ya got 'em, smoke 'em!
   Join the 
Navy...(Jump!)...
...and see the world! Just 
do it!

   Kill 'em! 
Katy bar the door! Keep off the 
grass! Kiss me goodbye!
   Laugh, clown, 
laugh! Look out below! Let go! In-
tuit!

   Move it!
Mind the gap! Make mine a double! 
Merge! Mail in your answers!
   No 
swimming! Nota beneName that 
tune!

   Out! 
Onward, Christian soldiers! Open 
fire! Off with his head!
   Pass that 
peace pipe! Piss off! Promise her the 
Moon!
 
   Quit 
buggin' me, man! Quote the Bible! 
Quiet your preschooler! 
   Re-
lax! Run for your life! Reach for the 
sky!

   So: 
stop me if you've heard this one! Sell 
short! Stand by your man!
   Tell 'em 
Groucho sent ya! Trim the sideburns! 
Try!

   Up 'n' 
at 'em! Use your freakin' brains! Un-
hand that woman, varlet!
   Ve-
nite adoremus! Vamos
Vote!

   Wait, 
Mister Postman! Win with Wilkie! 
Watch your hat and coat!
   Xero-
graph and file each promissory 
note!
 
   Yield to 
traffic in the circle! Yerd 'em! 
Yankee go home!
   Zam-
boni this! Zip-lock your chives...o-
kay!?

   (And  
always, always, always let your 
conscience be your guide!
   Now, 
practice more imperatives...to-
day!


   Stop!

*   *   *   *   * 

   Codetta 

   A
rise and walk! Brush 
up your Shakespeare!
Call me Ishma-
el! Do not 
do the Mash'd Po-
tato! Earn your 
keep!
   Feed my 
lambs...! Grow where you're 
planted! Hang 'em 
high! Ice that cham-
pagne! (Return to 
"Feed my lambs" and 
tack on "...Feed my 
sheep!")
   Jump for 
joy! Kill all the 
Reds! Leave it to 
Beaver! Marry 
me! Next, name that 
tune! Off with her 
head! Please, play it, 
Sam!
   Quote the 
Second Book of
Kings! Rinse and re-
peat! Send in the 
clowns! Then, tote that 
barge! (And lift that 
bale!) Up yours, Ma-
dame!
   Visit the 
sick! Wake up and 
smell the coffee!
Xerox your left 
thigh! 
   You had 
better neither 
pout nor shout!  
Zamboni this
   Goodbye! 
                                        

Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"