Incantations A Through H

Abracadabra...cadabra! 
Bippity! Boppity! Boo!  
Chick-a-lack! Boom-a-lack! Sissy-boom-bah! 
Doobie-do! (Bie-doobie-do!) 

Eeny 'n' meeny...'n' miney 'n' mo!   
Fa-la-la! Fa-la-la! La! 
Gillygillossenfeff'! Katz'nellen Bogen!  
Har-dee-har-har! Hot-cha-cha!

The Euphonious Gazetteer

In Birmingham is heard the Alabagpipe’s solemn drone
In Phoenix, Snareizonas keep the beat.
In Miami, night till morn, each native toots his Florglehorn.
In Nome, Alaskazoos resound on every street.

Woodwindianas wail…but where? In downtown Terre Haute.
Wilmingtonians perform on Celloware.
In Pittsburg and surrounds Serpentsylvanias abound…
though in Saint Louis, Chalumeaussouris are rare.

In Hartford and New Haven, the Corneticutt is blown.
In Atlanta, it’s the Georgan they enjoy.
In Star and Pocatello dwells this Idahoboe fellow.
In Chicago people bow Vielleinois.)

In Des Moines, the Iowashboard reins as instrument of choice.
In Topeka and in Dodge? The Kanstanet.
In Louisville and Bowling Green, they play Kentukuleles.
Baton Rouge is where Louwhistliana’s met.

In Boston Massachuba’s play. St. Paul plays Minnesoudas.
Minneapolis enjoys its Theraminn.
In Yazoo City, Mississippiano players run their scales.
In Butte and Billings, the Montenor Sax is in.

In Omaha, Nebrasska sections dominate their bands.
In New Rochelle, New Yorccarina’s king.
In Raleigh, not one flutist’s found whene’er North Carillonas sound.
In Deadwood, South Dakotos are the thing.

In Cleveland, the Ohihat’s part of ev’ry drummers kit.
In Portland’s felt the Oregong’s vibration.
A roadie out of Providence sets up his own Rhodes Island.
In Cope, South Carillonas stir elation.

In Fargo and in Jamestown, North Dakoto’s what one hears..
In Nashville,Tennessitars are what’s cool.
In Dallas, Texasaxophones outnumber longhorn steers.
Way out in Salt Lake City, Flutah’s rule.

In Richmond, how their Virginals drive southern belles quite wild!
In Wheeling, the West Virginal intones.
In Milwaukee, the Wisconcertina’s played by ev’ry child.
For their Or’gon folks in Portland sport a Jones.

In Silver Spring, the Dulcimeryland is on display.
In Norman, you’d an Oudklahoma hear.
In Concord, their Jews Harpshires, play'd in tune, will make your day.
In Barre, Vermontdolins caress the ear.

In San Juan, Puerto Ricorders sound, play'd even by the tots.
In Denver, Coloradios get played.
In Montgomery, Alabanjos give the natives there the hots.
(In DC…? What music's heard’s a diff’rent shade.)

The Song of the Otolaryngologist

There but for Pell grants go eye.
Lacking funds, you can’t get there from ear.
Who knows this? The Shadow: he nose.
(As for those who would throw it? Just throat!)