Kilroylentless Konjugular

O 
O!
Oh!
Oy!
OK.
Koi!
Roy!
Okay.
K’roy?
Killroy
Killjoy
Kill goy!
Kill Roy?
Kill droid!
Kill’d: Roy
Skill’d Roy.
Here, Kilroy!
Kilroy’s here.
Kilroy? Here?
Kilroy is here.
Kilroy’s here?
Kilroy be here.
Kilroy...? Here.
Ljmspz xbt ifsf.
Kilroy was here.
Hilroy was kere.
Kilroy was here.
Yorlik saw ereh. 
Here was Kilroy.
Kilroys were here.
He-e-ere’s Kilroy!
’Twas Kilroy here.
Kilroy’s been here.
Kilroy will be here.
Kilroy may be here.
Killroy shall be here.
Kilroy must be here.
Kilroy could be here.
Kilroy might be here.
Kilroy has been here.
Kilroy was kill'd, Roy.
If Kilroy were here…
Was not Kilroy here?
Kilroy had been here.
Kilroy was to be here.
Kilroy should be here.
Was Kilroy ever here?
Were only Kilroy here…
Ilroykay uzway eerhay.
Kill Roy. (But not here.)
If only Kilroy were here.
There once was a Kilroy...
Kilroy is about to be here.
Kilroy will have been here.
Kilroy is to have been here.
Kilroy may have been here.
Kilroy shall have been here.
Would that Kilroy were here.
Kilroy could have been here.
Kilroy might have been here.
Kilroy would have been here.
Would that Kilroy’d been here.
Kilroy was to have been here.
Kilroy should have been here.
Kilroy ought to have been here.
Kilroy may be about to be here.
Would that Kilroy could be here.
Would that Kilroy had been here.
Kilroy is about to have been here.
Kilroy will have to have been here.
Will Kilroy have to have been here?
Kilroy should have to have been here.
Kilroy will be about to have been here.
Kilroy may be about to have been here.
Kilroy shall be about to have been here.
Would that Kilroy could have been here.
Kilroy coulda woulda shoulda been here.
Kilroy should be about to have been here.  
Kilroy should have been about to be here.
Should Kilroy be about to have been here?
Kilroy would have been about to be here but...
Kilroy should have been about to have been here.
Kilroy shall have to have been about to have been here.
Was Kilroy not said to have been about to have been here?
Would that Kilroy should have to have been about to have been here…

                      What’s that? You say Kilroy wasn't here…?

Frag Rags: Beaux Esprits with Letters Three

In case you're currently in short 
supply, here are several bits of 
nonsense doggeriff prompted by 
twenty-six three-letter abecedarial 
sequences.

Two tricot-knit-
ted lab coats sit
in stacks of fit-
ty-three.
(Conceived in 9
BC divine, 
I'm fine: malign
not me.)

‘Tis time, Big Mac:

define exac-
tly what’s in back
of ‘pure’!
Define right now
(does Ron know how...?)
what's meant by 'cow
de jure.'

Most songs she’s left
in clef G. Clef'd 
in B...? Bereft
of fun! 
“Tonight,” she boasts,
“I’ll frighten ghosts,
if ghosts bi-coast-
al run.”

My pencil sketch-

es baksheesh fetch,
though ink's no stretch 
for many.
(Sell hot pants...? Not
New Delhi…? Jodh-
pur dealers' lot...?
Not any.)

“Is she a fake...?”
they howl. “Si! J.

K. Rowling ain't 
her name.”
(‘Tain’t no mirage:
at home, she’s ‘Taj.’ 
J. K. loves hajj. 
She's game.)

Though Royal Dutch,

the common touch
is “air’d” by K
LM.
Each flight...? Most calm –
no “flying bomb.”
(I love to fly
with them.)

Try kosher Spam –

no pork, no ham.
Delish...? You bet
your glans!
No ham! No pork!
Just grab your fork!
(It comes in one-
pound cans.)

Quranic scho-

lar Samar’s hol-
ler: “Stop! 'Q’ran'’s in-
correct!
Do not ‘u’s drop! 
Q: who’ll stop
you...? I shall. (What’s
your sect...?))"

And have you heard

this Scrabble word:
‘suq’...? ‘R’s not in
this mot.
Still, rules there be.
The best...? Let's see:
stick, nerds, to words
you know...?

The Duke of York’s

odd love of storks
makes clear which dork’s
turn’d queer.
Still, storks in si-
tu voted three
to one to flee 
the dear.

Now's Sarge's* turn
to chitchat churn
and thereby learn
from betters
which stuff disturbs
in situ verbs
and adds fresh herbs
to letters. 

This plea’s for you,
VW
detailer. My 
fixation...?
A peacock-blue
VW
x-rated dec-
oration.

Nobody owns

sitars with drones.
Now, xylophones
are trendy.
Who knows what’s next!
Perhaps a sex-
y zither’s mode
vivendi.

Some jazz is Thai

(I can’t think why).
Zaire sports jazz
bands, too.
And Paris has
its Hot Le Jazz,
a blend of old
with new.

     * Sgt. N. ("Jim") Smithe-Magee 
(the N stands for 'Nonsense.')