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Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Her Cicada-Pole-Dancing Tattoo (Past)




     I 

My Sweetheart stands five foot plus two.
Her cheeks...? Chapp'd. Her bangs...? Bird's-egg Blue.
But the item she bears 
that's the top one she wears...?
Her cicada-pole-dancing tattoo. 

Here...? No flash -- no motifs of her crew,
no starr'd bars, no Miss Liberty's moue,
no Love's darts piercing hearts,
no black-magical arts --
just original skin -- through and through:
her cicada-pole-dancing tattoo.

     II

In Cashew, New Hampshire, I'm grocer.
(One can groce here until one grows old.)
A brand new cash register late I've acquired
to keep fives, tens and twenties controll'd. 
     To keep up with the news of my town
I subscribe to our local gazette.
The New Cashew Register keeps me inform'd
and enlightened. It's ne'er fail'd me yet.

     III

OuSiLiPo's the name proposed 
by Poe* to designate
the workshop setting silly lit 
parameters to date.
     Its namesake's France's OuLiPo --
or so thought we adherents.
Turns out it was Posillipo**
and its absurd appearance.

     * Ulysses Poe, composer 
of nonsense literature.
     ** An affluent residential 
quarter of Naples.
 
      (more nonsense to come: a work in progress)

Mr. Misogynist's Book III (11)

Annie...? Turn'd tranny. 
Aretha'll prove lethal.
Blanche bought the ranch; 
meanwhile, Beth's got bad breath.
     Crystal's a pistol. 
Coleen...? Ex-marine.
Danielle's gone ta hell. 
Dana...? Dana's near death.
 
Emma...? Unfeminine. 
Edie is seedy.
Fern...? Slow to learn, 
and Francine's just thirteen.
     Ginny...? Too skinny. 
Gail's not made bail.
Hazel's voice...? Nasal 
and Hal's an ol' queen.
 
Irma's from Burma. 
Ida...? None wider.
Judy's caught cooties 
and Jane's just a pain!
     Kate screams, "I'm late!" 
Kyra's crack'd mirras.
Lakshmi lacks knack, see...? 
Lorraine...? Best refrain.
 
Misty's facisti! 
Maryah...? Pariah!
Natalie...? "Fat"al. 
Noreen's best not seen.
     Ottile...? A schlemiel! 
(I can’t help how I feel.)
Pilar is sub-par
and Paloma's a Green. 
 
Queen still makes scenes -- 
Queen's cousin's made dozens!
Ramona's a lonah. 
They sent Rae away.
     Sorcha...? She'll scorch ya' 
while Sal's not a gal.
Tori...? Weird story... 
Tess insists that you pay!
 
Una’s a goon, 
a maroon, a buffoon.  
Viv will not give you 
the time of the day.
Willemina...? 'V’ya seen ‘er...? 
Xanthippe...? Cheap chippy! 
Yardley...? Not hardly! 
And Zelda..? She's gay! 

Mr. Misogynist's Book II (11)

Alice shows malice.
Annette's still in debt.
Bianca...? Nein, danke
Twin Bridie's untidy.
     Claire chews her hair.
Condoleezza's wed Jesus!
Dodie's a toad.
Date with Dot...? (Godamighty!)
 
Evelyn...? "Devil in-..."*
Elsie's unwell, see...?
Flavia's obvious; 
Flo...? Flo's a 'ho.'
     Gladys a fad is.
Twin Grace...? About face!
Hannah's bananas
and Helen's "no go."
 
     * "...-carnate" is believed meant.
 
Inez wears a fez
and Irenie's a meanie.
Juno's a bluenose;
twin Joy's now a boy.
     Kahtya will rot ya.
Kunegunda...? We wonda... 
Lola...? Ebola! 
And Lynn I annoy! 
 
Morgan...? A gorgon.
With Megan, you're beggin.' 
Nora’s a horrah!
Noelle isn’t well.
     Orly feels poorly;
Ondine makes a scene.
Polly'd prove folly
and Pam looks like hell!
 
Qadiri...? I'm leery.
Her twins have three chins.
Ruby's a booby
and Rose picks her nose.  
     Sigourney's so-o-o corny!
Twin Sydney...? One kidney. 
Trish is malicious;
Tawanda...? Lord knows!
 
Uta: mui puta;
her sister's got blisters.
Verna I'd spurn.
Veronique is a freak!
     Wanda we’re on ta,
while Wilma might film ya!
Xanthippe...? Still hippy – 
a geek...though unique.
 
Yasmin...? A "has-been."
twin Yentl is mental.
And Zasu...? Malaise you
had best do without.
[Each sis in this listing...?
Too weird, I'm insisting.
The evens...? Uneven. Odds...? 
Odder, no doubt!]

Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"