GashlyPunn'd Obits (Unpub)

     A...? Aloysius who sleeps with the fysius.
A's also for Alfie snuff’d snappin' a salfie. 
     B is for Boris who fell off his horris.
B's also for Bob; he ate tainted kohlrobby. 
     C is for Carla dispatch’d in her parla.' 
C's also for Clyde; 'twas a pact suicyde. 
     D is for David who fail’d to get savid.
D's also for Dale brain’d with golf-ball-sized hale. 
     E is for Evelyn pierc’d by a jevelyn,
and for Elise fin'lly resting in pise. 
     F is for Faust forced to "give up the gaust." 
F is also for Frank – heard the Fat Lady sank. 
     G is for George who ate poisonous porr'ge, 
G is also for Gidget whose body turn’d fridget.
     H is for Harry whose corpse we must barry, 
G's also for Henry who perish’d in pen'ry.
     I's for Ignatius; that cyst prov’d sebatius.
I's also for Ida who’s bit by a spida.
     J is for Jim (surgeons sliced off a lim),
J is also for Judas drown'd in the Bermudas. 
     K is for Keith who waxed wa-a-ay too obeith.
K is also for Keyser who suffer’d a seysier. 
     L is for Lance overrun by red ance, 
L is also for Linda who burn’d to a cinda.
     M is for Modred who ask’d, "Is this loadred...?" 
M’s also for Morris; the levee proved porris.
     N is for Ned; no one knew he was ded.
O is also for Oliver; shot (a revoliver). 
     P's for Pandora who hang’d -- oh, the horra! 
Q's also for Quinn; too much tonicless dginn. 
     R is for Ron who was quarter’d and dron.
S...? For Samantha; thought pills were the antha. 
     T is for Tom; bought a gun; bought the fom. 
U ith altho for Uther, who'th alwayth a luther.
     V is for Victor; dead! (Obiter dictor.)
W…? Wayne who’s most savagely slayne. 
     X is for Xavier; jail’d (bad behavier). 
Y is for Yves; gone...nor's no one who'll gryves.
     Z is for Zeke; just another turn’d cheke.

Foreman's Favorite 'For's (Unpub)

     Foreman’s Favorite...

...Anatomical opening…? 

The forAmen. 

...business rag…? 

ForBes. 

...clamp…? 

The forCeps. 

...duply named author…? 

ForD Madox ForD. 

...eternity…? 

ForEver. 

...form of confiscation…? 

The forFeiture. 

...gas hearth…?

The forGe. 

...heartland organization…? 

The 4-H Club.  

...infinite periodic function…? 

The FourIer series. 

...jungle-juice-induced poetry…? 

Charles Bukowski's "For Jane." 

...kitchen utensil…? 

The forK. 

...lively Italian folk dance…? 

The forLane.

...melamine resin…? 

ForMaldehyde.

...New Testament idee fixe…? 

ForNication. 

...optimal opportunity for microeconomic investment…? 

ForOmic. 

...penal institution…? 

The for-Profit prison. 

...quaint typeface…? 

The ForQue font. 

...retarded movie icon…? 

ForRest Gump. 

...San Francisco anti-circumcision ban advocate…? 

ForeSkin Man.

...torrential rain record…? 

ForTy days.

...uber venue for ancient Roman public life…? 

The ForUm Romanum.

...verbal pronunciation web address…?

ForVo.com.

...WWI adage hung on wall of Anglo-American Supply Depot…? 

"For Want of a Nail..."

...xigduo component for treating type-2 diabetes…? 

ForXiga.

...YouTube performance by Otis Redding…?

"For Your Precious Love."

...Zulian- (Renzo) and Zajick- (Dolora) performed opera…? 

La forZa del destino.

Last Things (Unpub)

The Last Action Hero. The Last Boy Scout…? Fine!
The Last Chance Saloon and the Last Duchess -- mine!
Last Exit. (Which one, then…? To Brooklyn….? Nice ‘hood!
The Last measure (full) of devotion. Much blood!
 
The Last Gasp. The Last House. Locale…? On the Left.
The Last Ice Age. Last Judgement. Pray it be deft!
The Last King of Scotland.  Last Leaf.  Last Mohican.
Last Name. Last Of Sheila. Hey, watch it! No peekin’!
 
The Last Picture Show. The Last Quarter. Last Rites.
The Last Supper, about which St. Mark's good book writes.
Last Tango. Iin Halifax…? No…? Perhaps Paris…?
Last Unicorn. Mythical beasts…? Oh, please, spare us!
 
Las’ Vegas (?) Your Last Will and Testament. Gosh!
The Last eXorcism, one heaven-sent…? Bosh!
Last Year at Marienbad…? So-o-o, so-o-o-o-o long.
The Last Zulu. Done are we…? Or am I wrong…?