She saw an actor playing Lear
upon a black-box stage.
Which actor
then attack’d her,
crying, “Till your cheeks crack, rage!”
She spied a brewer using hops
to modify his malt.
Which brewer
tried to screw her,
crying, “It’s your own damn fault.”
She saw a builder raising roof beams
for a pine-log house.
Which builder
nearly kill’d her
when she fail'd to iron his blouse.
She eyed a butcher chopping steaks,
a cleaver in each hand.
Which butcher
tried to
putsch her,
having sliced her thyroid gland.
She saw a broker packaging
some questionable debt.
Which broker
tried to choke her
when she queried, “Gross or net…?”
She spied a choirmaster
leading choristers in song.
Which schmuck
went on to fuck her.
Don’t this shit know right from wrong…?
She saw a doctor when she’d gotten
gangrene in her toe.
Which doctor
‘lectric shock’d her
when she told him, “Doctor: No!”
She eyed a draper cutting yard goods –
buntings, braids, brocades.
Which draper
tried to rape her –
oh, he’s mounted many maids.
She saw an etcher burnishing
a graven copper plate.
Which etcher
tried to stretch her
‘cross an unforgiving grate.
She spied a farmer harvesting
blood oranges and limes.
Which farmer
tried to harm her –
and succeeded, sev’ral times.
She fled a grocer galling her
(she’d claim’d his yams were jokes).
Which grocer/lout
then gross’d her out:
he show’d his artichokes.
She eyed a wand’ring herder
of Charmoise, attired in plaid.
Which herder
tried to murder her.
(This herder hurt her…bad.)
She spotted an investor
buying shares and selling stocks.
Molest her this
investor did,
while crying, “Nasdaq rocks!”
She spied a jock who hemm’d and haw’d,
“The gals I like…? Good sports.”
Which jock
left her in shock
once he had handed back her shorts.
She saw a Kaiser – Bill by name –
whose German sounded Dutch.
Which Kaiser
told her lies. (Her
mom had cautioned her of such.)
She eyed a lawyer leaving court,
a man of odd beliefs,
which lawyer then annoy’d her
when he tried to lift her briefs.
She saw a miller grinding grain,
his mortar sharply filed.
Which miller
tried to drill her –
with that self-same mortar. Wild!
She spied a neighbor who had stencil’d
“Brillig!” on his van.
Which neighbor
will outgrabe her,
being quite
the Carroll fan.
She saw an organ grinder
with a monkey on a chain.
The kind who’d
try to blind ‘er
if she dubb’d his act insane.
She eyed a planter sowing corn
(that strain preferr'd by swine),
which planter
sowed his banter
where the sun refused to shine.
She saw a Quaker with a hat,
the kind called wideawake,
which Quaker
proved a taker:
her virginity he'd take.
She spied a ranger, Texas-type,
with badge and gun and drawl,
which ranger
proved a danger
when he breach'd her border wall.
She saw a rapper, heard his rap,
ignored his tragic flaw --
which rapper,
although dapper,
black'd her eye and broke her jaw.
She eyed a sailor on the docks,
no older than a boy,
which sailor
tried to nail her
as he shouted, "Ship ahoy!"
She saw a tinker with a cart,
a peddler at her door.
This tinker!
Must he think her
lacking knowledge of the score...?
She spied an undertaker,
necrophilia his thing.
Which undertaker
wish'd to break her
cherry. (How right-wing!)
She saw a voter standing
in a line of sev'ral blocks.
Which voter
went and show’d her
how to stuff a ballot box.
She eyed a writer typing
on a vintage Smith-Corona.
Which writer tried to bite her
as he vitalized his boner.
She saw a xebec seaman
standing on the seawall peein.'
Which seaman shot his semen
where it had no bus'ness bein.'
She spied a yegg, repentent --
hear him whisper, "mea culp'"...?
Which yegg attack’d her leg…
and then her thigh...and then her...
(Gulp!)
She saw a zealot. Radical,
this cove was not a coward.
Which zealot smelt like hell: it
was three weeks since last he'd shower'd.
