RPMs

78 revolutions 

per each minute my record goes 'round...?

Extravagant! Don't such solutions 

seem extreme just to access some sound...?

45 orbits improves 

this procedure by slowing its pace.

Plus it saves wear and tear on the grooves, 

tho' diminishing treble 'n' bass.

33 1/3 ev'ry minute: 

That's the number my LPs now make,

which is fewer by myriads, innit,
than my 78s used to take...?

What of 1 revolution...? Will someone

ever hawk such on cable TV...?

If they do, will folks spew, "1's a dumb one!"

and not, "1 RPM! That's for me!"...?