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Thursday, March 21, 2024

Salternatives

Salternatives: A Charm City Sonnet

Part One

It's routine hue's not green, not blue: 
the yellow Bal'mer Salt Box.
But let me introduce to you 
each Bal'mer Salt Box alt box.
One's home to News's raven muse: 
the Charlayne Hunter-Gault Box.
Use single straw -- or two (you choose): 
the Double Choc'late Malt Box.
One holds wa-a-ay more than all its parts: 
the David Marr Gestalt Box.
The Big One's scaling off the charts: 
the San Andreas Fault Box.
This octal icon rules the streets: 
the Reach a Screechin' Halt Box.
This food lab houses serious eats: 
the Kenji López-Alt Box.
"I'm outta dough; I cannot lie...": 
the Student Loan Default Box. 
Where P***yGrabsters go to die: 
the Sexual Assault Box.
 




















   

Part Two 

Comics herein limn'd...? The best! 
The 'Toons by Dudes Dubb'd Walt Box.
(Poe* draws as well...in Berlin West: 
Poe's Lebensunterhalt Box.)
This serves to store your foreign car: 
the English say 'Renault' Box.
These contents tell volks who you are: 
the Mispronounced 'Inhált' Box.
Your bubbe calls it liquid gold: 
where's 'z'...? Behind the 'Shmalt' Box.
This...? Home to hordes of Barb'rys bold: 
the '-er, Rock o' Gibrault-' Box.
Medievals used this for their church: 
the Pitch'd-brick Barrel Vault Box.
Embrace the flip; avoid the lurch: 
the Triple Somersault Box.  
This holds the tablets of the law: 
the Thou Shalt Not/Thou Shalt Box. 
Decryptions Turing oversaw: 
the "AI's Alan's Fault" Box.









































    









 





























































Codetta 

It's routine hue's nor green nor blue, 
the Yellow Bal'mer Salt box.
That said, this last one's red: 
the "I Dictatoheads Exalt!" Box.

    * Ulysses Poe, aka The DMV's 
Doggerel Dickinson, is a Baltimore
poetaster/illustrator and creator 
of the texts and images you're 
presently perusing.



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