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Wednesday, December 14, 2022

47 Derivative Durantes or 36+ Views of Mount Banjo

     Many are the Nonsense afficionados who 
have enjoyed Il Schnozzola belting out what 
PWWL considers that singular vaudevillian's 
signature musical shtick -- the tune beginning 
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted 
to go but still have the feeling that you wanted 
to stay...?" -- most memorably, perhaps, in his 
star turn as the mummy-case-gifting Banjo in
the Warner Bros.' winter holiday classic film 
"The Man Who Came to Dinner." And yet who 
among them have acquainted themselves with 
the performances of several almost identical 
texts by the host of celebrities who, as Jimmy 
would doubtless suggest, "just wanna get 
into the act"...?


     A shivering Xmas Eve Judy and Jim sing: 
"Didja ever get the feelin' that ya wanted some snow
but still have the feelin' that ya wish'd it were May...?"

     Conscientious quarterback Colin Kaepernick sings: 
"Didja ever get the feelin' you should 'go with the flow'
but still have the feelin' you should call a new play...?" 

     Golf cheat Donald Drumpf sings:
"Didja ever get the feelin' that you coulda turn'd pro
but still felt, 'Not if made to play my balls as they lay'..?" 

     Beckett's Estragon sings to his friend Vladimir: 
"Didja ever get the feelin' you must wait for Godot
but still have the feelin' he ain't comin' today...?"

     Dancer Clayton Bates sings: 
"Didja ever lose the feelin' in yer left pinkie toe
but still have the feelin' that the rest were okay...?"

     Anonymous consumer of anabolic steroids sings: 
"Didja ever get the feelin' that yer get-up-'n'-go
instills in you a feelin' that'll lead you astray...?"

     Old Cowhand Bing Crosby sings:
"Didja ever get the feelin' that ya wanna '-ya-yo-...'
but still have the feelin' that ya wanna '-kayay!'...?"

     House Speaker wannabe Kevin McCarthy sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling you're the beau-est-in-show
but still have the feeling you're a Nancy manqué...?"

     Aesop's hare-racing tortoise sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that your pace is too slow
but still have the feeling you can yet win the day...?

      Sgt. N. ("Jim") Smithe-Magee (the N stands for 'Nonsense') sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling I'm the devil you know
but still feel the need to shout, 'The devil, you say!'..."

     West Bank' resident Mahmoud Abbas sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you're now PLO
but still have the feeling that you're ex-CIA...?"

      Scots poet Bobbie Burns sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted 'my jo'
but still have the feeling that you wanted a brae...?"

     Arctic explorer Admiral Robert Peary sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted a floe
but still have the feeling that you wanted a sleigh...?"

     Former richest man in world Elon Musk sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling you're the new CEO
but still have the feeling that you're just a TA...?"

     Editorial assistant for Q&A at "Ask an Agnostic" website sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want to ''Tis so-o-o!'
but still have the feeling that you want to "No wa-a-ay!'...?"

     Failed religious postulant Maria von Trapp sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted 'sol-do'
but still have the feeling that you wanted 'fa-re'...?"

     Actress Josette Day sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted Cocteau
but still have the feeling that you wanted Marais...?"

     Korean American restauranteur David Chang sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted kung po
but still have the feeling that you wanted satay...?"

     Anonymous Franco-Japanese dance instructor sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted buyo
but still have the feeling that you wanted ballet...?"

     Divine Sarah Bernhardt sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted Pierrot
but still have the feeling that you want Salomé...?"

     Aussie-UK stage success Barry Humphries sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted 'Hello'
but still have the feeling that you wanted 'Gedday'...?"

     Master swordsman Cyrano de Bergerac sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted 'ripo'-'
but still have the feeling that you wanted 'touche!'...?"

     Mystery writer Agatha Christie sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted Poirot
but still have the feeling that you wanted Maigret...?"

     Man of a Thousand Voices Mel Blanc sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to crow
but still have the feeling that you wanted to bray...?

     Postmodern architectural historian Charles Jencks sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want van der Rohe
but still have the feeling that you want I.M. Pei...?"

     Latin grammarian Donatus sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted a 'quo'
but still have the feeling that you wanted a 'que'...?

     French playwright Moliere sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you;d want a bon mot
but still have the feeling that you'd want a cliché...?"

     Bald NBA Hall-of-famer Charles Barkley sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted a 'fro
but still have the feeling that you[d want a toupee...?" 

      Model Parisian Maurice Chevalier sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a 'Mais non'
but still have the feeling that you want a 'C'est vrai'...?"

     Filmmaker Werner Herzog sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a Lascaux
but still have the feeling that you want a Chauvet...?"

    Anonymous spelling bee contestant sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted an O
but still have the feeling that you wanted an A...? 

     Johanna Spyri's Swiss miss Heidi sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a chateau
but still have the feeling that you want a chalet...?

      Capellophile Bartholomew Cubbins sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a chapeau
but still have the feeling that you want a beret...?"

     Tonto's masked kemo sabe sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a 'Hi-yo!'
but still have the feeling that you want an '...away!'...?"

     Anonymous credit card applicant sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to owe
but still have the feeling that you wanted to pay...?

     Globe-trotting chef Anthony Bourdain sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a shad roe
but still have the feeling that you want a filet...?

     Imagined Aer Lingus beverage service steward sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that they wanted some joe
but still have the feeling that they wanted 'me tay'...?

     Infamous gourmandizer Donald Drumpf sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted gateau
but still have the feeling that you wanted brûlée...?"

     Congressional vote-wrangler Nancy Pelosi sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted a 'no'
but still have the feeling that you wanted a 'yea'...?"

     Star Fleet Captain Jean-Luc Picard sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted pekoe
but still have the feeling that you wanted Earl Grey...?"

    Insatiable art collector Charles Foster Kane sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted Miro
but still have the feeling that you wanted Millet...?

    TV naturalist Steve Irwin sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling you're a modern Thoreau
but still have the feeling you're a modern John Ray...?"

     Broadcast tour guide Rick Steves sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted Bordeaux
but still have the feeling that wanted Marseille...?"

     Self-proclaimed wine maven Orson Welles sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a merlot
but still have the feeling that you want a tokay...?"

     Linguist Steven Pinker sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want an 'Hello'
but still have the feeling that you want a 'Gule'*...?"
     * Turkish for 'goodbye' 

     Art historian Kenneth Clark sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want a Van Gogh
but still have the feeling that you want a Monet...?"

     Wannabe Nonsense influencer Uly Poe sings:
"Did you ever get the feeling that you want it so-so
but still have the feeling that you want it outré...?"

An Alternate Take in Rhyme on Carroll's Gardener

He thought he saw Sorcha, his sister-in-law,
as she started to swallow her stepchildren -- raw.
He looked again. (Suffer'd his vision some flaw...?)
But, no: that's exactly the slaughter he saw.


Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"