Teas: a Demi-tasse (A thru M)

     Breathe 
scant more cheerful, few'r as quick, 
none readier than me: 
     I eat fast 
food (who'd not ♥ Happy Meals!). 
I sip Alakra Tea.

     Art's 
Sandwich Shoppe...? I'd best not stop: 
no breakfast break for me. 
     Just 
shortcakes -- two -- wash'd down with 
demi-tasse of Brevah Tea.

     Ma's 
off her nut. Don't scoff: we but 
agree to disagree. 
     There is no 
reason why we two can't try 
lukewarm Çevilla Tea.

     The 
bitch what's in my kitchenette 
(a banjo on her knee): 
     she lip-syncs 
"Dinah," scarfing Dinah's s'mores* 
and downing Dinah's Tea.
     * Some mss show 'dinosaurs'; some, 
'Dinah's sores.' (One 'Dinah Shores.') Does 
each reveal a different but no less true 
nonsensiosity...? Of course, of course.

     Trade 
unions fought. 'Twas dearly bought, 
the tea-break...and the pee-. 
     ‘Taint 
wrong to ask, "How long a task 
to steep Etournah Tea...?"

     Steel'd 
rush-week frats wield cricket bats 
with such sadistic glee, 
     then ask which 
brother dumps how many lumps 
in whose Fra Turna Tea...?

     "Do 
bowels not move...? Brew Grahva, love," 
growls Arthur G to me. 
     Its 
pow'r's for real. Just drink: you'll feel 
the force of Grahva Tea.

     The 
joke about the priest, the rabbi 
and the manatee 
     is printed 
on each bag -- to view each time 
you brew  "Heil, Herr!” A Tea.

     Half-
lives of crime, from time to time, 
may've led to Reading G.* 
     What 
lands Brit pricks -- bang! -- in their nicks...? 
The kick...in Iqua Tea. 
     Be 
Jon** some modish son of god, 
some neo-deity...? 
     His drinkin's 
pass'd the stinkin' stage: 
wa-a-a-a-ay too much Jove E. Allah Tea.
     * Reading Gaol, the period Brit nick.
     ** Jon Bon Jove E Allah, perhaps...?

     Doin' 
martial sports of sundry sorts, 
I soak my judo gi – 
     when 
hot, with puce ju-jitsu juice; 
when not, with Karr (hot!) Tea.
     'Tweren't 
no black buyers, 'cepting Myers,* 
in that CDP.** 
     The 
Levitt shack...? She took it black: 
both town and Levitt Tea.
     * Daisy Myers, hailed as "The Rosa Parks of the 
North," in 1957 became Levittown, PA's first African-
American family when she and her husband purchased 
a home not from Levitt & Sons, who refused to 
sell to African Americans, but from a European-
American family who already owned a home there. 
     ** Census-designated place -- Levittown is 
one such.

     Thom's 
Magic Mount's no tragic fount -- 
unless Hans Castorp's spree 
     does 
symbolize the reckless rise 
of Herr Männ's Straße Tea.

Naughty

Oddity

Paucity

Quality

Reality

Serendipity

Trinity

University

Velocity

Warrantee

eXentricity

Yazoo City 

Zesty 

A Tattle of Ts: Mr. Wishfulthink's Tell-All in re a Trump Abdication

Tintin tells Tutu...Tutu tells Tonto. 
Tonto tells Tito (I’m tellin’ the trut’).
Tito tells Toto...Toto tells Totie. 
Totie tells Tolstoy – who tells Little Toot.

Tintoretto tells Tootsie who tells Tiny Tim 
who tells Tommie 'n' Tuppence who’re tellin' Tartuffe.
Tartuffe's tellin' Tristram who tells Ratatouille 
who tells Tina Turner (for this tale, thin proof).

Ted Turner tells Titus who tells Tia Tabitha. 
Who tells Tess Trueheart…? 'Tis Toni Tennile --
tantamount to catastrophe, Tim Tyler thinks: 
"How shall Tubby the Tuba and Tommy Tune feel...?"

Tut tells the Titans...Tik-Tok tells Tantalus. 
Telling the Toltec...? 'Tis Tristan the Pict,
who is tellin' Tom Tolbert who’s tellin' a tsetse 
who – three times! – tells Trump. (Who then tells us, “I’m licked!”)

That'll Be the Day

'Twill dawn, and soon, 
a day whose noon -- 'tis true! --
sees Athlone Wood 
advance on Yeat's Coole;*
when I, beknownst to few, 
shall bid "Adoo!" -- 
when combs un-tissu'd 
out-zizz my kazoo
and when that dome at Gol Gumbaz** 
shan't do. 
     * In an Irish send-up of the Scottish play 
     ** The mausoleum of Mohammad Adil Shah 
and not to be confused with Golgotha (the Skull)

When Ethan Frome 
abandons red for blue;*
when froths of foam fail -- fie! -- 
to frappe my brew;**
when genome maps may 
make a meme of you,
and home no longer 
lures the Wand'ring Jew...
...when we In Rome 
shall do as Romans do. 
     * The Wharton novel is rife with red items, 
each toting its symbolic load.
     ** "Just a finger of froth as I finish a few," 
whistles the Sarge -- that's Sgt. N. ("Jim") 
Smithe-Magee (the N stands for 'Nonsense') 
from out of this blizzard of f-initialed words.

Yeah, that'll be the day --
you bet your boo! --
Jerome Jerome shall drift downstream 
with two;*
and when 'ein Kaum' to Klauses** 
means "ka-choo!"
When loam's allow'd 
in Chef Pepin's fondue
and mome Red Pandas 
shall outgribe in lieu.***
     * Jerome K. Jerome's best known novel r
emains Three Men in a Boat. 
     ** A colloquialism for Germans in 
Portuguese-speaking countries 
     *** In lieu, i.e., of the mome raths which 
nonsense lovers may have come to expect.

One day when Nome 
shall top a 102*
while "Om...!" alone's 
a way to say "Mon Dieu!"
When po'ms like this 
aren't drafted in the loo
and 'quo'm' stands not for 
'quorum' but for 'Whe-e-ew!'...
...and roamin' 'round the world-wide web's 
all through...** 
     * To date the high temp record in Nome 
is '68's 86 (or was that the other way around); 
but, hey: the climate's changing, isn’t it...? 
     ** Such might well prove disasterous for 
Sarge's poetry.

...'n' Soames takes trips 
and tries a toke or two.*
When tomes place terms like 
'uome' 'n' 'vome' on view --
when 'waume,' 'xome,' 'yeaum' 'n' 'zhome' 
appear per u.**:
yep, that'll be the day, alright, 
when you --
with me, in Rome -- 
shall do as Romans do. 
     * This particular Forsyte, of Saga fame, 
stands as a literary paragon of respectability. 
     ** As per usual, as a matter of course, 
in the common run of things, and so forth...

The A Word & Other Lexemes or Verboten Verbiage Varia

'April' and 'buck' 

One utters the A word
as one’s mates move Mayward.
Admired…? Nope! I fear it's
enmired. (Too much March.)
The B word Tru* hollers –
to guarantee dollars
pols pass stop, at las,' 
on his desk -- shows tru' starch. 
     * Not author Capote but former
Buck-Stopper-in-Chief Harry S.

'Cuckold’ and 'drunkard'

The C word gets mention'd
by nerds ill-intention'd,
the gals of whose pals 
toy with boys on the side.
The D words…? They're said 
when too much liquid bread
lets one's bro into 
haut dipsomania slide.

'Enema' and 'fart' 

The E word shoots shivvers 
up colons, down livers,
for rectal dysfunction's
no man's mug o' tea.
Though not what you think 'er, 
the F word's a stinker
when gas up the ass 
is one's fate -- accompli.

'Green' and 'halitosis'   

The G word, though being 
the new blue to many,
is bann’d in all red states.
(Do you vote in any...?) 
The H word...? They say 
he said she said I've got it.
(I say: Vescere bracis meis*...
or: sod it!)
      * Latin -- and vulgar Latin 
at that – for "Eat my shorts!"

'Injun' and 'jap'

A Native American insult –
the I word.
Down under, it's 'abo' –
though such'd not be my word.
The J word,
in Double-U-Double-U-2,
seem'd acceptable then.
(Oh! The evil men do!)

'Kike' and 'lesbo' 

Down the last ring of hell 
one imagines Herr Ado'ph
pronouncin' the K word...
then laughin' his haid off.
Misogynist man-children
whisper the L word...
then snort...and continue 
itiner'ries hellward.

'More' and 'nothing'

The M word gets mention'd
by Dickens's Twist
(all who do do get more...*
though with slaps on the wrist),
while the N word,*
to die-hard creationists...? Weird!
They insist this world's made 
by some blade in a beard.
     * Oliver famously asks for 
"more, please" as gruel is
served out. 

'O-rings' and 'panties' 

It took Richard* to bring up
the O word; he show'd
how, because the things froze,
NASA's Challenger blow'd.
The P word...? On Seinfeld
this shorthand for 'scanties'
proves mentionable. 
(Elaine mentions the _______!)
     * Physicist Feinman

'Quik' and 'dead' 'red' 

Don't mention the Q word
when visiting Hershey:*
they'll soak you in sauce
till you're "beggin' for mershey."
You're suspected of being the R word...?
McCarthy
will ruin your life –
till you're "beggin' for marthy.”
     * In Pennsylvania

'Shit' and 'tit' 

Swung the hammer...and miss'd. 
Hit the thumb: "Ow!" Got piss'd.
Form'd: the agonized fist. 
Now the S word gets hiss'd.
The T word means 'breast,' 
like most mammary monikers:
'chesticles,' 'sweater meat,' 
'hooters,' 'boobs,' 'honkers'... 

'Ubu' and 'vagina' 

'Tis OK if one mentions 
the U word in Art.
Oh, if only we'd see it,*
and take it to heart.
There were days when the V word 
was strictly forbidden.
Then enter'd Eve Ensler. 
Now, nothing stays hidden.
     * E.g., "Ubu Roi," the theater-of-
the-absurd piece by Alfred Jarry.

'Why' and 'XXX')

The W word: that it's 
banned is half lie:
it's both outlawed and urged -- 
do (or don't) question "why...?" 
The X word's avoided 
when dupl'd and tripl'd
in ratings of films -- 
those well penis'd and nippl'd.

'Yoni' and 'zoff' 

The Y word...? In Sanskrit, 
it's eas'ly avoided:
Max Wertheimer didn't, 
but Maslow and Freud did.
Comes, lastly, the Z word; 
suppressed! (Although utter'd
by me,* who well knows 
on which side bosh bread's buttered). 
     * That's why the Z word gets 
mentioned a dozen times in the 
nonsense verse parody "Let's Call 
the Whole Thing 'Zoff'!" which
can be seen elsewhere on this blog.