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Showing posts with label Daffy Donald. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daffy Donald. Show all posts

Sunday, April 5, 2020

One Fine Day on the Stump in 2016...Plus More Eggcentricity


I'm Donald Trump!
I love the stump.
Just hear 'em trump-
-et: "Donald Trump!"
They cheer me, pump-
-in' up The Trump. 
My pitch…? I'm rich!  
I'm Donald Trump!

In Iowa,
sure, Donald’s slumpin.'
Second place, though,
ain't no thumpin.'
Still, for Scott I'll
not be plumpin.'
(Later, Walker'll
be a Trump'un.)


I cherish strump-
-ets: wed me three!*
And crumpets ('cuz I'm
Trump) love me.
(No lie! Der Trump-
ster loves to hump!
But don't "Har-r-r-rump'!"
He’s Donald Trump.)
 
     * The premiere Trump…? 
Ivana Trump. A one-time Trump 
was Marla Trump. The current 
Trump's Melania Trump. (And 
not one Mrs. Trump's a frump!)

I'm Donald Trump!
I love my hair,
the flaxen clump
I wear up there.
That golden "sump-
-thin'" makes 'em stare.
Still, I'm no chump:
I'm Donald Trump!

I love the Jews:
my daughter's one.
I'm Netanyahu's
unsung son.
And, when I can,
I'll bomb Iran.
No Forrest Gump:
I'm Donald Trump!

I love the spicks,
those rapist dicks!
I love the blacks
despite their lacks.
I love the hicks;
I love their PACS
(though most are pricks
and all are hacks).

I'm not a Lib!
I'm not a Tea!
I'm worth ten billion
with a 'B'!
The GOP…?
They're piss’d at me.
Their queues I jump!
I'm Donald Trump!

I'll build a wall --
muy mucho tall --
to nix the spicks.
And that ain't all:
I'll get those spicks
to pay for bricks.
Fuck Forrest Gump!
I'm Donald Trump!

I hate McCain:
he lost his plane!
No hero, John!
(The Don moves on!)
I diss’d Rick P
‘cuz he dissed me.
Don't on me dump:
I'm Donald Trump!

That Huffington:
she's such a bitch!
With NBC
I've hit a glitch.
Plus, have you heard…? 
I'm very rich!
When I say "Jump!"
all heed The Trump!

I Lindsey diss’d:
he got me piss’d.
What say we phone
that little cyst…?
His phone's unlist-
ed -- well, it was... 
Is Trump too blunt…?
Deal with it, cuz...

…I'm lewd; I'm crude;
I’m oozin’ 'tude! 
Jeb Bush…? He's weak!
(My mind I speak.)
Him and his bro
both love my dough.
Want Donald's bump…?
Don't dump on Trump!" 

I'm Donald Trump!
Yeah...Donald Trump!
My niche…? Tres riche!
(But hold the quiche.)
I pillory
Bill’s Hillary:
her job at State…?
Eleventh-rate!

Ted Cruz…? Big snooze!
Rand Paul's sans balls!
That Hammerkraut:
What's he about…?
Remember Mitt…?
Proved not worth shit!
(Dick Nixon…? Dim!
Who's heard of him…?)

To Huckabee:
"Don't fuck with me!" 
No one's as won-
derful as he,
as Donald Trump!
(Out on the stump,
just hear 'em trump-
-et: "Don-ald-Trump!")

Eggcentric Britain:
The White Cliffs of D'ova

Wednesday Wave Protest Signs