Two Spooners

 "The Man Who Would Be King": 
a blip in Kipling's data base.
The Khan who would be Ming...?
Chas Middleton: Archfiend from Space.
     Moral:
Din, Din, Din! No jive: bring me Flash...alive!
  That legumes grow that tall 
young Jack couldn't know.
"Hey, Fatso! Your denims...? 
Untactfully low!"
     (Jack and the Beanstalk
& Back and the Jeans Talk.)
     Moral:
Make sure your slacks expose no cracks!